Stale Contracts/New Adventures

Fall (or "cultural fall" at least) is soon to be here. With a change of seasons, there is always a moment to pause and think about how we are doing, and how we want to be doing. To contemplate if our lives are "bringing us joy" or if they are rooted in "fill in your mantra" (My mantra, taken from Captain Cold, is "make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan")

Wentworth Miller wrote some wisdom (on Instagram) that seems to run in parallel with this seasonal self reflection that many of us are undertaking right now. (Randomly one of the commenters on Wentworth's post said "Stale Contracts" sounds like a band's name, so it became the title for my post today, in case you wondered LOL) 

Some of Wentworth's wisdom included: (Emphasis added by me)

... People fear change, want things (you) to remain As They (You) Are. Plead to extend the contract, stale or not.

Me: "I have nothing new to say to you." Them: "Then say nothing new! We'll dust off the old scripts, read them out loud! I still remember my lines!" ....

... My most sacred contracts are with me, not others. "How long am I going to pretend/perform/punish/fake/ache/tolerate/hold space for (whatever)? Am I honoring my contract? In breach? Maybe I need a new one! I'll write the old one down, burn it in the driveway. How will we part? As friends? Enemies? With a kiss on the cheek or a foot up the ass?"

Is it me or are Major Contracts coming up across the board right now? For all of us? (I have opinions.) Will we be fluid + flexible? Or go kicking + screaming? (I have opinions.)

I guess it depends whether we believe new contracts are on offer, that we're not trapped in the old ones ad infinitum.

Take a moment to decide. I'll be waiting in the car.

This is a good time to consider what contracts you hold with yourself and if those contracts are still serving you. 

This might look like saying goodbye to a goal that is no longer important to you. You always wanted to be "a doctor and a lawyer and a chemical engineer on my weekends" but now discovered you would rather be an artist, or a baker, or candlestick maker. Or you were working towards a marathon but have discovered you really don't like running and would rather kick box or do yoga. 

It might look like adding a practice so that you can be a better best friend to yourself. In my case this means thinking about if everything on my daily to-do list is still serving me or if I need to change it up a bit. It is less throwing away any of the categories on my list and more just adding more variety. 

For example: right now I have "do three self-care tasks" on my daily list but I know that those three tasks tend to end up being the same three each and every day.  Moving forward I think I hope to create a schedule (with flexibility no epic walks if it feel like 100 degrees out.) One the day's focus might be art based, another motion based, another sensory based.

Or taking my "BBJ" (Boldness, Belonging, Joy) and "Other" categories and have each day be focused on a different value, one day must include something around curiosity, another day something around openness, .... Or taking my fitness category, making sure at least one of the fitness tasks changes from day to day.

In addition personally I have just finished a virtual 12 week mental wellness program which I found a bit easy and a bit repetitive and I left lots of feedback on how to make the program work for a wider audience. After writing down and submitting all this feedback I realized that I should take my own advice and create my own program 2.0 to use for the rest of the year. 

In the language of Wentworth's post we all have a wide range of contracts we should look over and determine if they are still serving us and if they are not, if we think we can change the contract or if we need to rip the contract up into a million little pieces. 

• If you are starting a new contract you can say goodbye to an old one
• If your personal contracts have become too complex you can simplify them. 
• If your personal contracts are overlapping you can determine your focus for the rest of the year.
• If you want new contracts for 2022, prep for those contracts (research, collecting supplies)
• If a contract no longer works, let it go, just because others say the meditation is always the way to go if meditation only stresses you out find something different that works for you.

Glitterland: A Story About Mental Health

So I was introduced to Alexis Hall through one of his later books Boyfriend Material. Since I had already read one of his books Glitterland popped up somewhere as a "you might enjoy reading this" ad, I think on Facebook but that is really neither here or there :), and so I took it out of my local library.

What stood out to me about Glitterland was how it felt like an honest portrayal of the ups and downs of mental health (not so hidden within a wonderful and adorable British gay romance* story.)

(*While I still think there are a wide range of better ways to form intimate connections than sex, somehow the sex in this story worked, and I guess in the end the fact that people in stories and out in the real world like sex is not really any stranger than the fact there are people who like the taste of coffee or alcohol or pumpkin spice everything, Though don't ask this Ace to ever totally understand the having sex fad. LOL)

The story was able to strike a nice balance between being truthful about the fact that mental health is something that will always be with a person, never will be magically solved, and can negatively impact you by stealing so much of "you" from yourself, while also showing that mental health is something you can learn to live with always having with you.

The mental health issues neither became a superpower, magically went away, nor became the cause of a tragic opera like death scene which is common in many stories around mental health. In addition there was an exploration of the impact of mental health on friends and family. Some characters were kind, some were filled with pity, some were angry, and some were simply mean about the mental health challenges faced by the main character.

The story also maintained the balance of navigating the challenges of relationships without knowing if it will work out but leaving you in a spot where you can realistically be hopeful. We have no idea where the characters might be in a year or 5 years or 10 years but that is ok.

While this story was clearly about someone who had mental health issues and had been in crisis, the story was not only about that. Mental health was just one of the characteristics of the main character. After reading this story I realized just how important this type of story is, and how we all need more stories about mental health like this one.

3rd Annual Titan Walls Mural Festival

This past Saturday I randomly ended up at the 3rd Annual Titan Walls Mural Festival. (I was looking for things to do on Eventbrite and it popped up as an option.) The festival was a fun event that fit well into my August Art Adventures theme. It was fun to both see art being made in real time and have a chance to make some art of my own. They also had cool music performed by the School of Rock. So all in all a very enjoyable afternoon.

Artists working on murals live

Always cool to see art being made in real time

I made a pin via Loud Theory using scrapes from when they make earning.

I liked this scape that I painted/stamped ADA for A Dreaming Ace on

To me it looks like an landscape from a different planet

This is a comic I made at one of the booths. The first panel was given but I added: 

Doctor Who, Flash, SeaQuest (sorry Darwin clearly can't draw dolphins) and Talk Art

I also got to make a small affirmation banner

This was a piece of public art I found on my walk home after the event

A reminder that it does not matter where you live

If you look you will find public art you can enjoy

This is a picture of the sky as I was heading home 

Did not get wet because of a few nice overhangs on the way

Still think it is an impressive picture

Processing and Contemplation:

This week has been a week where a lot of things have been on my mind. And this is putting aside all the swirling darkness of geo-political junk. So today's post is me processing my thoughts and feelings about a few different topics, there are no clear answers, no clear through lines, nor even clear questions. 

Processing Other's Wants Are Not My Own:

This week one of the news stories was my Pete and Chasten are going to be parents. Now to be clear they are super excited to be parents and I know they will be great parents but it still has been hitting me someway. I have never ever wanted to have kids/ offspring/ spawn/ demons/.... so it never computes when others do want them. I realize it will take me a little time before I can sit with this change in their identity. 

People who want to have kids or have kids feel like people from a different version of earth, (And nope I am not sure which Earth number they would have been found maybe just Earth Kids? which sits somewhere between Earth X and Earth 69 and Earth 666), but just like it took the legends a bit to be comfortable with Leo Snart from Earth X it is going to take me a little while before I am comfortable with my Pete and Chasten from Earth Kids. 

Some of my issues are pretty illogical, such as worrying about having daydream childcare available when I bring Pete and Chasten on various daydream adventures. We can still end up at Hogwarts, or on Babylon 5, or at Lux, or on the Waverider, or Seaquest, or on the TARDIS, or in pockets of Dream's library without having to worry about the child (Though Mary Poppins or Crowley/Aziraphale as sitters would not be a bad idea)

Some are more issues of the heart. Pete and Chasten as currently deeply imbedded in some of the Us/We's, some of the communities/belongings, some of the understandings/meanings that I call home. But now Pete and Chasten, as parents, belong in different squiggly box of meaning, which means some of the bedrocks of my current identity are shifting, which on top of everything happening across the globe is just a bit challenging. A multiple cups of tea problem, a need to do some yoga, a need to do a bit of journaling type of problem.

Processing How Others See Me:

This week another event was an interesting Facebook interaction. Someone asked politely why Aces/Aros should be included in the LGBTQ+ acronym explicitly, and not simply be included under the +. I wrote a note about the importance of being seen and included and referenced a blog post I wrote about learning how poorly my middle school handled the fact that I said I was not interested in sex in middle school. 

The odd part was later when someone basically implied I was brave for being so open about being Ace. This was a mirror of the role I normally play. I am normally the one who sees others as brave and bold and wonderful and having super powers. And I realized why celebrities some times seem to be taken aback when others look to them like they are superhero's or gods. 

Though it does seem like some all knowingness that Wentworth Miller posted "If there's something here for you, pick it up. If not, leave it at your feet." on Instagram today while talking about the dangers of the idea of influencers. 

But all kidding aside in general my love/admiration is an exothermic reaction, and find it all a bit odd when it changes to an endothermic reaction or the difference between enjoying a work of art and having the work of art tell you that it enjoys you in return. This was a pleasant social media interaction, which is always nice since all too often they are not pleasant, but it did give me a better understanding of others responses when we tell them how amazing and wonderful they are.

A Break From The News Of The World

A Break From The News Of The World

By Dreaming Ace

I was on a walk

Looking and exploring

When I found a sofa

In a local retail shop

An orange sofa

Against a magenta wall

Sir Michael Craig-Martin CBE

Spoke about the power of magenta

This sofa caught my eye

Because it looks like 

A piece of public art

I do not know the story

Of this random sofa

And did not have the money

Or ability to bring it home anyway

But finding this work

Made a day a bit brighter

Which is useful when

It can feel like the whole world

Is fallen to pieces

(Haiti, Afghanistan, Delta)

Broken glass everywhere

Just waiting to cut our hands and feet

If you need a break

From the heaviness of a broken world

Go for a walk

And see what you find

Flowers or Sofas or Painted Manhole Covers

Art can be found

In any space, In any time, In any universe

When everything feels a bit too much

Let Art show you a way to escape

To somewhere you are safe and loved

Surrounding Haiti With Love ...

Once again Haiti is in need of love and support right now. Remember back in July Haiti's president was assassinated, this past Saturday a earthquake led to 1300 deaths and counting, and today hurricane Grace is supposed to dump 15 inches of rain which is going to cause landslides and further tax an already struggling relief effort. 

I know the real limitations of thoughts and prayers but right now I do not control the weather, nor have financial or material resources I can donate. So all I am able to say is I see you Haiti, I see your suffering, I see your resilience, I see everything you have been and everything you will be and I pray that your are surrounded with protection, healing, and the strength to rebuild once again.

Who We Are: Squiggly Identity Boxes

Who are we? Who do we allow others to be? How are those identities always in flux? These are some of the questions I am exploring after reading a recent Instagram post by Wentworth Miller where among other wisdom Wentworth states (All bold added by me).

We use others as signposts to navigate identity. "I am this so she is that. She is that so I am this." Then it turns out she is this AND that or neither this NOR that or WAS that but is now THIS and we get pissy. We put her in her box, came back later to find her somewhere else. (Bad dolly.)

It's not that she's "complicated" or "confused." It's that we relied on her identity to bedrock our own and now we're the ones complicated. Confused.

The assuming ("here's your box") and insistence ("stay there") could be what prevents many of us from being seen. From being + seeing ourselves.

Oh course my first thought was in what ways do I use others as signposts to navigate my identity and in what ways do I put people in boxes? I was concerned I was one of the people who stands in the way of others and their growth. Which is the opposite of what I would want for those who I love.

But after a good amount of thought and some journaling I think I can say, or at least hope I can say that my boxes are very squiggly boxes in the same way that the box marked "Tree" within the larger box called "Art" is very squiggly and can include photos, growing plants, or even glasses of water on a shelf if you happen to be Sir Michael Craig-Martin CBE in the 1970's.  

Each is a form of "Art" and each is a form of "Tree" and even though the photo is a very different expression of the "Art"/"Tree" box than the glass of water is,  putting both in the "Art" and "Tree" boxes still makes sense. (Thank You Talk Art podcast for making it sound like I know something about art and allowing me to name drop a few artists names LOL)

Personally I think I put people in "boxes" that are made up of the various patterns of circles that are formed as each identity is dropped into the smooth water. Different language now fits your experience? Ok different patterns in the water are being made but there are still circles that I can lean on. 

I am equal opportunity when it comes to putting groups into these squiggle boxes. I put people in these squiggle boxes, I put characters in these squiggle boxes, I put times and places and multiverses in these squiggle boxes. I rely on others to be the bedrock of my identity because without any bedrock my boat tends to get lost at sea.

And while I know it is a bit odd, because Wentworth talks at other points in the Instagram post about the issues when people associate actors with the characters they play, I think a Captain Cold quote fits pretty well here:

There are only four rules you need to remember: make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan. Follow my lead and you'll be fine.

All you have to do is substitute the term "boxes" for "plans" and I think you have a healthy model of creating squiggly boxes around people. (I do have to say the above is a really versatile Captain Cold quote.)

I believe a good example of the squiggles of boxes I put others in is the the fact that I often find myself daydreaming and processing with a wide variety of Captain Cold's and Wentworth Millers who fit into a wide range of different squiggly boxes.

• When I need something to hold to bring comfort I hold my Captain Cold POP figure. 
• When I need someone to be snarky or punny I reach for Captain Cold Flash/Legends of Tomorrow version. 
• When I need someone to share hot cocoa with mini marshmallows with I reach for Flash's Captain Cold. 

• When I need someone adorable in a Kilt I reach for deleted scene Captain Cold :) 

• When I need someone to hold space for me because my brain is going wonky or when I want someone who would understand what I am feeling or experiencing I reach for the Inspirational Speaker Wentworth (Oxford Version, or Active Minds Version or HRC Speech Version) or I reach for a daydream/fanfiction Wentworth or a Leo Snart from Earth X. 
• When I seek the spaces at the edges of the known universe where magic and wonder and formation and change all are occurring like a multiverse of stars being born I reach for Instagram Wentworth

Instead of someone who demands that someone stay in their box I just split them all up into all the ever shifting squiggly boxes I need them to hold down for me.  

On the second point Wentworth makes about using others as the bedrock of our own identity I found this hits homes for me. 

• I am what Pete Buttigieg or Chasten Buttigieg or Wentworth Miller would say I am
• I am who Captain Cold or Leo Snart or Leonard Snart or The Doctor would say I am
• I am who the TARDIS or JARVIS or Gideon of the Waverider would say I am
• I am who I would be in the TARDIS, or on the Waverider, or at Lux with Lucifer
• I am who I would be hanging with Loki or Ganesh or any of the Endless (From Sandman)
• I am who I would be talking to Neil Gaiman, or Robbie Thompson, or Alan Turin, or Lin-Manuel Miranda or Russell Tovey or Robert Diament or …
• I am the stories I read and the daydreams I have and the poems I write and the Art I consume …

I find I often use others to navigate who I am, which squiggly boxes I belong in, and process how I can respond/navigate/understand/not be overwhelmed by other people. I find myself putting others in squiggle boxes because I need someone in that particular squiggly box at that particular moment.

I understand the dangers of a single squiggle box are like the dangers of a single story but sometimes while I allow others to grow and change and melt and reform and circle back and spiral outward I still keep them in a box. While I do not mean to harm these people and characters I care deeply about, I am aware of the possible danger to them when I put them into any box even a squiggly box. 

Finally going back to Art Lilli Carré's Glazing, a looped hand-drawn animation, is a visual representation of all this discussion of identity and boxes. (Glazing is the first animation clip on this page of her work)

Women Creating Pop Art

As I continue my August Art Adventures I am taking a course on Pop Art created by the Centre Pompidou. Today there was a discussion of various women artists who created Pop Art who are not as famous as many of their male counterparts. So here is a sampling of 34 of these artists from 16 countries. (This list is based off of awarewomenartists.com) 

Argentina

Marta Minujín: 

Argentinian visual artist

Austria

Kiki Kogelnik: 

Austrian, American based visual artist

Belgium

Evelyne Axell: 

Belgian visual artist

Martine Canneel: 

Belgian visual artist

Britain

Pauline Boty: 

British painter

Columbia 

Beatriz González: 

Colombian painter, art historian and critic

Estonia

Anu Põder: 

Estonian sculptor

France

Milvia Maglione: 

French painter, graphic designer and decorator

Nicola L.: 

French performer and designer

Germany

Christa Dichgans: 

German painter

Ulrike Ottinger: 

German visual artist

Italy

Giosetta Fioroni: 

Italian painter

Ketty La Rocca: 

Italian artist and writer

Netherlands

Jacqueline de Jong: 

Dutch Artist and Publisher 

Peru

Teresa Burga: 

Peruvian visual artist

Poland

Maria Pinińska-Bereś: 

Polish sculptor

Portugal

Lourdes Castro: 

Portuguese painter

Romania

Marion Baruch: 

Romanian visual artist

Spain

Ángela García Codoñer: 

Spanish visual artist

Isabel Oliver Cuevas: 

Spanish visual artist

United States

Chryssa: 

Greek-American sculptor

France Cristini: 

French-American painter

Rosalyn Drexler: 

American painter and writer

Ruth Francken:

 American Sculptor and Painter

Jann Haworth:

 American visual artist

Dorothy Iannone:

 American painter, sculptor and draughtswoman

Corita Kent: 

American painter and screen-printer

Kay Kurt: 

American painter

Marisol Escobar (dite Marisol): 

American-Venezuelan sculptor

Martha Rosler: 

American photographer and video artist

Niki de Saint Phalle: 

French-American visual artist

Marjorie Strider: 

American visual artist

Sturtevant: 

American multimedia artist

May Wilson: 

American visual artist

Celebrating Showing Up At The Olympics)

Today I simply want to honor those countries who made it to the Olympics but did not bring home any medals because I feel like few people take note of those who simply showed up but without these countries the Olympics would not have been the Olympics.

Note: 

When copying the various flags some came out slightly different sizes

This is a technical issue and does not speak to anything about the particular countries

Afghanistan

Albania

Algeria

American Samoa

Andorra

Angola

Antigua and Barbuda

Aruba

Bangladesh

Barbados

Belize

Benin

Bhutan

Bolivia

Bosnia and Herzegovina

Brunei Darussalam

Burundi

Cambodia

Cameroon

Cape Verde

Cayman Islands

Central African Republic

Chad

Chile

Comoros

Congo

Cook Islands

Costa Rica

Cyprus

Democratic Republic of the Congo

Democratic Republic of Timor-Leste

Djibouti

Dominica

El Salvador

Equatorial Guinea

Eritrea

Eswatini

Federated States of Micronesia

Gabon

Gambia

Guam

Guatemala

Guinea

Guinea-Bissau

Guyana

Haiti

Honduras

Iceland

Iraq

Kiribati

Lao People's Democratic Republic

Lebanon

Lesotho

Liberia

Libya

Liechtenstein

Luxembourg

Madagascar

Malawi

Maldives

Mali

Malta

Marshall Islands

Mauritania

Mauritius

Monaco

Montenegro

Mozambique

Myanmar

Nauru

Nepal

Nicaragua

Niger

Oman

Pakistan

Palau

Palestine

Panama

Papua New Guinea

Paraguay

Peru

Refugee Olympic Team

Rwanda

Saint Kitts and Nevis

Saint Lucia

Samoa

Sao Tome and Principe

Senegal

Seychelles

Sierra Leone

Singapore

Solomon Islands

Somalia

South Sudan

Sri Lanka

St Vincent and the Grenadines

Sudan

Suriname

Tajikistan

Thailand

Togo

Tonga

Trinidad and Tobago

Tuvalu

United Arab Emirates

United Republic of Tanzania

Uruguay

Vanuatu

Vietnam

Virgin Islands, British

Virgin Islands, US

Yemen

Zambia

Zimbabwe