The Power of Sharing Mental Health Stories Part 1: Thank You Wentworth Miller

May is mental health month. A time where we are encouraged to talk about our personal mental health experiences. It is also a time to remember we are not alone in those experiences no matter if we are currently in crisis or thriving. This is the first of several posts I will be writing about the power of sharing our mental health stories and struggles.

Not surprisingly to anyone who follows my work, I will be starting with Wentworth Miller. This past March, Wentworth Miller returned to Instagram after a year and a half away with a powerful message about living life "behind enemy lines" and the impact that has on mental health.

It was the absolutely exact message I needed to hear at that particular moment when the "external forces/external voices" had gotten much louder than normal because I was/am dealing with some major life changes, which my brain is not a fan of.

Since I share a lot of intersectionality (queerness, neurodivergence, mental health struggles, etc.) with Wentworth, my brain trusted his understanding of the situation (or, quoting the West Wing, I know he has already been in the hole and knows the way out.) 

I will go into more detail about why my brain trusts Wentworth knows what I am experiencing in a later post (since I doubt anyone wants to read a super long blog post LOL), but for right now I will leave you with Wentworth Miller's post from March 15, 2026, in its entirety.  

"Life behind enemy lines..."

A thought like a ping-pong ball bouncing around inside my head these days...

What does that look like?

What are the taxes/tolls? Are there upsides/advantages? Additional languages learned/skillsets acquired? (Is "subtext" a language? Is "hypervigilance" a skillset?)

Where are those lines? On a map? Or less literal. A culture/community. Classroom/church pew. The front door of the house where you grew up.

For some of us, enemy lines can feel like the contours/confines of our own bodies/brains...

What are the costs - mental, physical, spiritual - of days/nights/decades inhabiting spaces you're made to feel illegal/alien/other? Unwelcome? Not just unwelcome but unsafe. In danger. A danger.

To yourself.

No one is born wanting to die, enters this world thinking Life Is Not Worth Living...

I reject that idea.

So if that (fatal) messaging doesn't come from within it can only come from without...

This is good news. It means you want to live.

That (fatal) voice in your head suggesting otherwise = someone else talking. A parent/coach/TV show. So-called sacred text. Billboards along the freeway.

Neat trick tho, external forces convincing you Life Is Not Worth Living, you internalizing the message then self-destructing while those responsible pretend their hands are clean. Clever, convincing you to do their dirty work...

Slow claps all around.

One problem: They failed.

I/you/we remain. Above ground. Breathing in and out. Anyway/still/despite. Picking our way thru the trenches (gentle, gentle), thru a world of Shadow Kings and accomplices, surviving (even thriving) behind enemy lines...

Wherever they may be.

If You Can't Join The General Strike ...

 

Last Friday there was a pretty successful general strike in Minneapolis (with businesses from other cities participating too), and in response to the additional horrors that have occurred since, there has been a call for a nationwide general strike on Friday, January 30th.

Tomorrow's general strike has been developed very quickly and so did not have the planning that is typically needed to be successful, but I think at least talking about a general strike is important. Of course, if you can reasonably not go to work, not go to school, and not make any purchases tomorrow, do so, but not everyone can.

For example, personally, I am a cat sitter, and tomorrow I have some cat sitting scheduled, and I'm not going to abandon the kitties because of the strike, BUT I will continue my spend-nothing Jan and will even walk to and from cat sitting so I am not even spending money on public transport.

So What Can You Do If You Can't Strike?

Monetary Actions:

If you do need to make a purchase, only shop at small minority-owned businesses. Also continue to shop at small businesses throughout the weekend, especially ones that are choosing to close for the strike, because for many they are already running on tight margins and we need to support them for supporting the strike. If you must make a purchase, you might also consider making an equal donation to an immigrant-focused nonprofit, organization, or community group.

Governmental Actions:

Contact your elected officials (especially if they are Republicans) and tell them that unless they stand up to ICE and DHS, they will not get reelected. There are multiple platforms to do so, and while they tend to say that calls are the best, any contact is better than none, so send the email, send the message on social media, etc. if that is what will allow you to actually contact your elected representatives. And remember that our elected representatives work for us, so we are simply asking them to do their job.

Community Actions:

Check if there are community groups protecting children when school is let out, and if so, consider joining tomorrow (no children should be afraid they will be disappeared on the way to or from school), or join or host a whistle kit making event because it has been shown that whistles can successfully be used to bring community members out so we can have footage of what is really happening. 

Keeping Record:

As we all have seen, it is vital that we keep records of what is happening in our communities because without documentation, without our videos, without record keeping, others will try to spin what is happening and who it is happening to. The names we know are because of videos and photos that others took showing what was really happening. For example, for every Liam Conejo Ramos, there are hundreds of unnamed, unknown, and all-too-likely-to-be-forgotten others.

Creative Actions:

Create art!!! Art is an important part of protest and liberation movements. Do what you can. Bruce Springsteen wrote a powerful song, "Streets of Minneapolis," , but creating posters or poems or even memes are also ways that art can be used to keep us all energized to stop what is happening.

 

Remember ...

 

The Faces of those Shot and Killed by DHS

(This is not including the numerous individuals who have died in their custody)

Silverio Villegas González, Killed. September 12 in Illinois.

Isaias Sanchez Barboza, Killed. December 11 in Texas

Keith Porter*, Killed. December 31 in California

Renee Good, Killed. January 7 in Minneapolis

Alex Pretti, Killed. January 24 in Minneapolis

*Keith Porter was killed by an off duty ICE Agent so he is not included on all the lists

https://votolatino.org/media/press-releases/voto-latino-urges-senators-to-stand-with-law-abiding-americans-vote-no-on-dhs-funding/

"Gentle, Gentle" New Year For Us All

Another New Year is before us

We don’t know what it will bring

What challenges we will face individually, collectively

What we will have to let go of because it no longer serves us

Where we will find belonging, community, and connection

This year we should center ourselves in what is really important

Gentle Gentle, Slow Slow, Thoughtful Thoughtful, Flow Flow (1)

Moments where (we are) doing what (we) need to do

to make sure that (we) vibrate at the right frequency …

things that are small, doable, affordable, and that nourish (us). (2)

Gentle Gentle, Slow Slow, Thoughtful Thoughtful, Flow Flow (3)

(We) won’t be doing it alone.

We are all just trying to figure out this being human thing together.

It’s not always going to be easy.

And sometimes (we’ll) feel like the darkness is too much to bear.

But it’s worth fighting the darkness to discover who (we) really are.

And not just for (ourselves).

But so (we) can create a better world for everyone.

Now, (we’re) gonna make some mistakes.

There’s no formula to guide the way.

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about doing what we know is right.

And having a hell of a good time doing it.

That’s what it means to be alive.

And to be a Legend.

Welcome to the team. (4)

Make the plan, Execute the plan,

Expect the plan to go off the rails,

Throw away the plan. (5)

*quietly confident in the manifold gifts (we) possess,

both known and unknown to (us)*

(We) got this. (6)

1 Wentworth Miller Instagram Summer 2023

2. Wentworth Miller | Full Q&A | Oxford Union Society

3. Wentworth Miller Instagram Summer 2023

4. DC's Legends of Tomorrow - WVRDR_ERROR_100

5. Leonard Snart from The Flash - Infantino Street

6. Lin- Manuel Miranda Tweets

"Gentle, Gentle" + "Hell Yes" Holidays

 

We are in the middle of the holiday season, and I am so glad this Wentworth Miller quote once again came across my Instagram feed. Although I generally enjoy this time of year, I have always found it to be overstimulating and overwhelming, even when I didn't have the words to express it (for example, unlike most kids, I always wanted to sleep in on Christmas, believing that Santa could leave the gifts while I rested, as I was exhausted from a season filled with holiday activities).

We can experience a whole host of sometimes conflicting emotions during this time of year. Right now I am experiencing burnout from a year where all my normal patterns and routines were constantly being thrown away. And on top of that, the universe often felt like it was melting like a Salvador Dalí painting. I was starting to feel more stressed about the upcoming busy holiday season than I was feeling excited. 

So I have decided to have a "gentle, gentle" holiday season. For me this includes minimizing my end-of-year to-do list and being strategic with what activities I do. I cannot physically or mentally do every possible holiday activity occurring in Chicago this year. I am going to try to lean into "Hell Yes." "Hell Yes" is a book I traditionally read on Dec 31st every year to prep for the new year, but the premise is very short: if any activity is not a "Hell Yes," then it's a "Hell No"—no middle ground.

Now I also know I struggle to identify my "spoon"/energy levels at any given moment, but since I know I tend to overcommit, I plan on focusing on whether my plans sound reasonable. For example, tonight I am planning on going to an event for writers at the library even though I am exhausted from having to wake up early the last few days so I could cat-sit, but I don't plan on going to a random free concert at the library tomorrow. While holiday music is always fun, there are several other concerts coming up I can try for, and I know I need a day to rest and not have plans.

So no matter if you love the holidays or hold your breath during them because you find them to be overstimulating and stressful, consider having a "Gentle, Gentle," "Hell Yes" holiday season. Instead of focusing on everything you could do, focus on what you can say no to so you can rest and end up enjoying the holiday season more this year. 

Praising Parasocial Relationships ...

The Cambridge Dictionary's 2025 word of the year is "parasocial." Sadly, parasocial relationships are often considered somehow inherently "unhealthy" or "less than" non-parasocial relationships. Yes, parasocial relationships, just like any other type of relationship, can be toxic, but I find that my parasocial relationships provide me much-needed support and encouragement.

I have a parasocial support network made up of actors, characters, and even personifications of spaces (such as Three Avenues Bookshop), which helps me navigate the world when it otherwise is a bit overwhelming or overstimulating.

I recognize that the version of these individuals that I interact with within my parasocial support network is different from their real-life counterparts, and maybe that is the key distinction between a healthy and an unhealthy parasocial relationship: knowing which version of an individual you are interacting with.

My parasocial support network is available 24/7 to process a thought, feeling, or experience, and it is always there for me to bounce ideas off of or provide me wisdom. My parasocial network understands what support I need, whether that is help talking through something, giving me a big hug, or sitting quietly holding space for me to simply be.

Since the individuals who make up my parasocial support network live within my imagination, they have a deeper understanding of my experience than others do, even close friends and family. I do not have to worry about always having to be able to verbally articulate what I am experiencing because they simply understand.

So for me personally, my parasocial support network is a very healthy part of my life and provides me support and social connections when I don't have the "spoons"/"energy" to deal with real-life people.

30 Ways To Be Generous This November

 

This is a tough season; the days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder, and many of us are facing skyrocketing healthcare premiums and loss of other benefits. Since all the challenges we face can paralyze me, personally I am intentionally focusing on being generous this November. Here are 30 ways you can be generous this month, as we all head into the busy holiday season.

• Donate money to a food pantry
• Donate unexpired food to a food pantry
• Volunteer at a food pantry
• Share old toys on a Buy Nothing Group
• Donate old toys to resale shops so parents can get holiday gifts for their kids
• Sort through any kids books you have, if they are in perfect shape donate to a toys for tots etc.
• Sort though your books if they are in good but not perfect shape donate to a little library, or towards a library book sale.
• Share household goods you don't use with a Buy Nothing Group
• Share coupons or deals you won't use with a Buy Nothing Group
• Donate new unopened care supplies to a Care Cubby
• Donate craft supplies 
• Buying from street vendors 
• Donating to a street vendor relief fund
• Donate extra winter hats, scarfs, gloves, unopened socks, unopened underwear 
• Donate clothes or coats you no longer wear or that kids have outgrown
• If you are part of a musical group talk to a local migrant, immigrant, women, homeless, senior centers etc. about coming to perform this season
• Write notes of encouragement to share with people you interact with friends, family, grocery store clerks, librarians, bus drivers, etc.
• Adopting a local family
• Choosing a family off a gift tree
• Donate money to a migrant center
• Donate items to a migrant center
• Volunteer at a migrant center
• Donate the item you never returned to the store
• Share on a Buy Nothing Group any old tech that works but you don't use
• Bake for friends or family or neighbors
• Contact someone you haven't chatted with in a while (call, text, email etc.)
• Support your local small businesses
• Buy gift cards, one free (fill in the item) coupons, etc. to share with those who are unhoused
• Volunteer your professional services
• Be kind to those around you, give everyone a little extra grace this season, know everyone is struggling right now