Vaccinated: Now What?

 

Today I received my second Covid shot. So first a shout out to my roommate who rented a car and drove both times so we could both get vaccinated, and second a shout out to Umiya Mataji a temple in West Chicago (Note: While West Chicago sounds like it is a part of Chicago in truth it is not and I have not yet googled what is up with its name) which provided the vaccinations plus had a really funny doctor which made the whole process enjoyable. 

I understand why it is important that we all get vaccinated to protect ourselves and those in our communities but being vaccinated is not a clear cut "The End" rolling at the end of a film. This year of Pandemic has been quite the journey and it will be interesting to see what happens next.

So where have I come from/where am I going? 

Most of 2020 

While Covid was a bit stressful, overall I ended up thriving because opportunities (The Arts, Conferences, Talks, Events ....) came right into my home via the virtual realm and I got a break from having to spend time socializing. Covid was a nice excuse to stay close to home and avoid interacting with people in person outside my roommates. 

Early 2021

I got Covid which was a miserable few weeks. Grateful for roommates, friends, and family that took good care of me.

Early 2021- Vaccination/Post-Vaccination World

I have experienced various typical post-Covid minor challenges pop up but it has mainly been a head game thinking about the post-vaccinated world. Like many people in many ways the post-vaccinated world feels a lot more stressful. I got into good rhythms that worked well for me but which are changing as collectively we move into this new stage. 

I am still thinking about what comes next but in summary

1. Everyone should get vaccinated!!!
2. I got both vaccinations and therefore will shortly move into the post-vaccinated world
3. I do not know what the post-vaccinated world is really going to bring and I think for better or worst it is going to be an adventure.

Doubting/Connecting

Sunday my pastor talked about "Doubting" Thomas and together we talked about the physical, emotional, and spiritual scars we all have and how sharing these scars is one way that we connect with other people in a more meaningful way.

When we were asked to comment with times we doubted like Thomas doubted the other disciples who had already seen Jesus "up and about" after being resurrected I said:

For me its more I just don't expect to be remembered or noticed much at all so when I am, I am always surprised and look like a deer in the head lights.

A good example of this is the fact that each year I happen to see the writer Robbie Thompson at C2E2 and he remembers me I am surprised, somehow expecting that the next time I will have been forgotten, or simply slipped into another timeline/universe where he does not know or remember me. But this is often the case with people I interact with and I am always surprised when someone, especially someone I have not interacted with recently, remembers me. In response to my comment my pastor said:

... You have a spiritual gift of encouragement, and its always interesting when we are shocked to received from others what we freely give

Which is true. It is much easier to give then it is to receive, much easier to see then to be seen, much easier to create space for others than it is to accept spaces created for us or even harder ask for spaces to be created for us.

What does it mean to be seen/heard/remembered?

Why is the gut reaction to freeze like a deer in headlights?

Why are we afraid of being too big and bold and wonderful?

Who sees me? Who remembers me? Who listens to me?

Who am I struggling to accept being understood by?

What would it look like to know people have my back

Just as much as many characters and actors always do?

We had a very interesting conversation around these subjects and a bunch of people shared their scars. Exploring our own physical, emotional, and spiritual scars is one way to understand both ourselves and others better. We all have scars. And it is in these scars that we can often find connection with others.

Accountability vs. Justice

 

Yesterday Derek Chauvin was held accountable (being found guilty on all counts) for the brutal murder of George Floyd but as many have pointed out being held accountable and justice occurring are not the same thing. The systems which led to Derek Chauvin becoming a murder are still in place and therefore we can not say that justice has occurred. 

Justice will only occur

When the murder of individuals by the police stops

The police can't murder anyone else

Justice will only occur

When the systems that surround us

Are actively anti-racist

Justice will only occur

When law officials can do there job

Without murdering others over and over again

Justice will only occur

When we no longer have such a high bar 

Before holding others accountable

 

Multiple angles of clear video evidence

Multiple eye witness testimonies including other police officers

An independent autopsy report and a worldwide protest movement

Justice will only occur

When the murder of individuals by the police stops

The police can't murder anyone else

Vaccinations and States: By The Numbers

Just a reminder if you have not already made your appointment to get vaccinated you can now. And here are some interesting tables etc. to track how your state is doing in terms of vaccinations that can be sorted by a number of factors.

Shout outs to the top 10 states in several categories as of today 4/19/21 I am also only including the 50 US states not the territories, federal agencies, and three countries with special arrangements with the US. 

* Denotes those states which are in the top 5 for population to show that even in states with lots of people it is possible to succeed on these metrics or in other words yes the more people you have the harder it is to increase your percentage of people given a shot but still doable

@ Denotes those states which are in the top 5 for size to show that even in states where vaccines would have to travel longer distances it is again possible to succeed by these metrics

Winners for highest percentage of people given at least one shot

1. New Hampshire = 58%
2. Connecticut = 49%
3. Maine = 49%
4. Massachusetts = 48%
5. New Mexico@ = 48%
6. Vermont = 47%
7. New Jersey = 46%
8. Rhode Island = 45%
9. California*@ = 43%
10. Pennsylvania* = 26%

Winners for highest percentage of people fully vaccinated 

1. New Mexico@ = 32%
2. Maine = 32%
3. Alaska@ = 32 %
4. Connecticut = 32 %
5. Rhode Island = 32%
6. South Dakota = 31%
7. Vermont = 31%
8. New Jersey = 30%
9. North Dakota = 30%
10. Massachusetts/Wisconsin/Minnesota/New York* = 29%

Winners for most effective use of doses that have been received by the state 

(aka percentage of doses that have been used so far) 

1. New Hampshire = 100%
2. Minnesota = 90%
3. Wisconsin = 89%
4. North Dakota = 89%
5. Maine = 88%
6. New Jersey = 87%
7. Massachusetts = 87%
8. Rhode Island = 87%
9. New Mexico - 86%
10. Utah = 86%

Winners for total shots given.

1. California*@
2. Texas*@
3. New York*
4. Florida*
5. Pennsylvania*
6. Illinois
7. Ohio
8. New Jersey
9. North Carolina
10. Michigan

No Words ...

Adam Toledo (13)

No Words

No Words

No Words

Another Child Murdered

By those who are supposed

To defend and protect

No Words

No Words

No Words

Another person killed

For following law official's request 

To raise his hands

No Words

No Words

No Words

Another life cut short

Would he have cured cancer?

Or something else amazing?

No Words

No Words

No Words

Another person killed

For following law official's request 

To raise his hands

No Words

No Words

No Words

Another Child Murdered

By those who are supposed

To defend and protect

No Words

No Words

No Words

Action must be taken

Centering Women In Norse Mythology

 

I just finished reading The Witch's Heart by Genevieve Gornichec which is an very interesting retelling of Norse mythology centering around women. The story is told from the point of view of Angrbobda (the mother of Hel, Fenrir, and Jörmungandr) and her interactions with other women who typically are only known for one or two moments in the mythology. 

This story fills in gaps that are not typically explored in depth in retellings of Norse mythology like how the various women responded to each other. The challenges of raising children when your husband splits his time between you and his other wife and can never be pinned down. Knowing when you are Loved and when you are simply being taken advantage of. Falling in love with your best and first friend (Skadi). Having to carry the burden of knowing how everything is going to end and how everyone is going to die. How to be a women in a world where men still hold too much power over your destiny. 

The power of centering women in this story is the fact that it reminds us how all too often they are relegated to the sidelines in mythology. This story allows them to shine and gives a more full understanding why they choose to do what they do for themselves and for their families. It allows the women to shine and clearly demarcates the many spaces where men are not a vital part of the story. It feels like the women standing up and saying we have always been here, even if you do not know our stories as well as those of our male counterparts. 

A Virtual Walk Outside

 

Today I went for a nice walk outside since the sun decided to poke its head out and I decided I wanted to share a virtual walking tour. 

First stop is some pretty purple flowers and a light post. 

(I did not see Narnia hiding anywhere but I might have missed it)

Second stop is a journey around Belmont Harbor

Third stop a walk in the grass

Fourth stop nature in the city

Fifth stop two unrelated piles of encouraging stones

Mental Heath Other Culture's Gods

This is the third in a series of blog posts about the mental health of God and other characters. The first post was about Who Watches Over God's Mental Health?, and the second was about Characters In The Bible and Depression I will turn to looking at mental health in other faith traditions.

Here are a few Gods/Goddesses who are in charge of mental health to various degrees in various faith traditions. 

Beiwe (Sami), goddess of the sun, spring, fertility and sanity, who restored the mental health of those driven mad by the darkness of the winter. 

He Xiangu (Chinese), one of the Eight Immortals, whose lotus flower improves one's mental and physical health

Oizys (Greek) is the goddess of misery, anxiety, grief, and depression.

Surya (Hindu) is thought to bring mental and physical wellbeing

Characters In The Bible and Depression

 

This is the second in a series of blog posts about the mental health of God and other characters. The first post was about Who Watches Over God's Mental Health?, now I will turn to looking at depression more specifically. 

Many of us have experienced or are experiencing depression right now. The heaviness and tiredness that comes when every little action has to be done while moving through tar or molasses or honey. For some this means they can literally not get out of bed, for others they can get up and do enough so it appears that they are fine but in reality they are experiencing a world that has turned gray and where day to day activities are as challenging as grabbing someone off the street and asking them to walk the Camino de Santiago. Yes most people can walk, but walking 500 miles with no prep or support is a bit too much. (Well unless you are the 10th Doctor ...)

Depression is an experience that can be very hard to communicate to other people. This means finding others who also understand can be a big help when someone is suffering. There is power in knowing others understand and that no matter how it might feel no one is as alone as depression tells them that they are. 

Realizing that characters from the bible also have struggled with depression can be helpful. Part of the challenge is rarely is the word depression actually. But then in truth until very recently, and all too often even today, we tend not to use the word depression either. We tend to either use words with more negative connotations or we end up speaking around it as if we were in a Monty Python Skit and we all are simply "pining for the fjords" not struggling with serious mental health challenges.

Though the Bible doesn’t use the word “depression” except in a few translations and verses, it’s often referenced by other similar words, such as “downcast,” “brokenhearted,” “troubled,” “miserable,” “despairing,” and “mourning,” among others. Throughout the Word, there are a number of stories about godly, influential men and women of faith, who struggled and battled through dark times of hopelessness and depression.

King David: 

“My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.” Ps. 38:4

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.” Ps. 42:11

Elijah:

“I have had enough Lord, he said. Take my life, I am not better than my ancestors.” 1 Kings 19:4

Jonah: 

“Now O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.” Jonah 4:3

And even after God reached out to Jonah again with great compassion, he responded, “…I am angry enough to die.” Jonah 4:9

Job: 

“Why did I not perish at birth, and die as I came from the womb?” Job 3:11

“I have no peace, no quietness, I have no rest, but only turmoil.” Job 3:26

“I loathe my very life, therefore I will give free rein to my complaint and speak out in the bitterness of my soul.” Job 10:1

“Terrors overwhelm me…my life ebbs away, days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones, my gnawing pains never rest.” Job 30:15-17

Jeremiah: 

“Cursed be the day I was born…why did I ever come out of the womb to see trouble and sorrow and to end my days in shame?” Jeremiah 20:14, Jeremiah 20:18

The below quote gets as to why acknowledging that several characters in the bible likely had depression is important and how it can be helpful for those who are struggling today:

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Ps. 34:18 He was there in the good days and in the dark days too. He didn’t condemn them for their questions and pain. He didn’t tell them to just tough it out. He reached down to their deepest pit of suffering, and lifted them out. He cared. He showed compassion. ... The greatest truth is this, we have a Savior who understands our pain, who knows about every weakness and hurt, and reaches out with compassion and hope.

Who Watches Over God's Mental Health?

 

Friday I shared a poem for "Good Friday", and ended up in the middle of an interesting conversation with a friend online:

Dreaming Ace: Yeah we really don't talk about how reliving holy week each year must be really hard on Jesus's Mental Health. Honestly we don't talk about God, Jesus, or Big Mama's (The Holy Spirit) mental health enough. How do each of them preform self care? Who bakes them cookies? Who is there to listen to them when listening to us gets to be a bit much? Which mental health struggles have each of them personally experienced?

Friend: And God gets blamed for everything, that's a lot of guilt to hold onto, I suspect the are pretty good at mindfulness

Dreaming Ace: I would hope God was good at mindfulness and I would hope god at least has a Bob to be his therapist. (Clip)

Yes I worry about God's mental wellness. If we are supposedly made in their image, it must means God has experienced anxiety, and depression. They have have felt alone, they have needed a support network, they have struggled with shame, and isolation, they have struggled to be in the words of Wentworth Miller "here, here". 

“Up till then he had been looking at the Lion’s great front feet and the huge claws on them; now, in his despair, he looked up at its face. What he saw surprised him as much as anything in his whole life. For the tawny face was bent down near his own and (wonder of wonders) great shining tears stood in the Lion’s eyes. They were such big, bright tears compared with Digory’s own that for a moment he felt as if the Lion must really be sorrier about his Mother than he was himself.

“My son, my son,” said Aslan. “I know. Grief is great. Only you and I in this land know that yet. Let us be good to one another.”

- The Magician’s Nephew by C.S Lewis

I find comfort in the idea that God themself* understands mental health struggles and challenges too. This is one way that God can know us and one way we can know God. There is great power in shared challenges and in shared experiences.   

Leo McGarry : This guy's walking down a street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep, he can't get out. A doctor passes by, and the guy shouts up, "Hey you, can you help me out?" The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along, and the guy shouts up "Father, I'm down in this hole, can you help me out?" The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by. "Hey Joe, it's me, can you help me out?" And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, "Are you stupid? Now we're both down here." The friend says, "Yeah, but I've been down here before, and I know the way out."  

God has been in the hole before and knows the way out. God has been in every hole before so no matter what someone is experiencing, no matter if others seem to understand, no matter if others have good advice or not, no matter if someone feels all alone or completely supported, no matter what, God knows the way out. 

(Note: God when you find yourself in a hole give a shout out and someone will jump in and help you out too, it is a give and take, a back and forth, God you are here for us humans and we are here for you God, to listen and let you vent when it all becomes a bit too much, take care of your own mental health God because if you are an empty vessel you can't pour out your Love on others)

Today's post is the start of a series of posts I plan around mental health and characters in the bible. My hope is it does not matter if you are God, a friend of mine, or a complete stranger you know you are worthy, you are loved, you are beloved, and you are not alone. 

*God is gender non-conforming, is non-binary, so I am using themself for their reflexive pronoun though there is something to say for using "I am" as God's pronoun instead. 

 

A Modern Day "Good Friday"

 

Good Friday

A day for honoring

Our brokenness

Our weakness

Our lack of belonging

It does not matter if we

Are broken or bent in body

Are broken or bent in mind

Are broken or bent in spirit

It does no matter how our

brokenness takes form

We have dark moments

We have dark days

We all experience

Good Fridays

When we struggle to imagine

The " ... to be continued"

Of our lives

But in three days

Everything will change

Everything might change

Everything can change

If you are in a Good Friday

Keep holding on

There are so many of us who understand

You are not alone

We are not alone