Happy Happy New Year

 

My wish for you as you enter a New Year

May 2021 be filled with

Belonging, Boldness, and Joy

 

And may you forever know

You are Loved! You are Loved!

You are Loved!

 

Together we can make sure 2021

Is known as a year of

Creativity, Caring, and Kindness

 

And may we forever know

We are Not Alone! We are Not Alone!

We are Not Alone!

 

May this year called 2021

Be the beginning of something Fantastic

Be the start of something New

My 2020 in Review

2020's theme was Live Lighter/Dig Deeper.

This is a quick list of 10 accomplishments I had in 2020 in no particular order

1. I read 104 books, averaging 68.6 page per day, thanks to a bunch of graphic novels. 31% were by BIPOC women, 23% were by BIPOC men,  18% were by White Women, and only 16% were by White Men, The rest was an assortment including 3 by White Genderqueer individuals and 2 by BIPOC Genderqueer individuals.

2. I expanded my freelance writing and got multiple long term intermediate clients. 

3. I got to 35 plays/musicals online. I started with The Adult In The Room and ended with Kinky Boots

4. I took 20 free classes online. My first one was a Radical Compassion Challenge and my last one was A Global History Of Sex And Gender.

5. I did the monthly calendar each month for Yoga With Adriene

6. I did a Darabee Fitness Program each month.

7. I stayed in touch with many friends and family members through seasonal cards.

8. I wrote more blog posts than I did the pervious 4 years of this blog and was better at sharing them with others.

9. I continued to grow my poetry e-news list

10. I learned how to thrive during COVID times and found myself more busy, more connected to people, and more social (virtually) than I have ever been before.

2021's theme is Belonging, Boldness and Joy. We will see what I accomplish next on this journey called life.

DYI New Year's Eve

Typically there are two types of people on New Year's Eve, though who are out partying, and those who stay all cozy at home. This year we are all going to be cozy at home. But don't imagine that means you can't live it up on New Year's Eve. Here are some suggestions.

Make your own holiday crackers. You can use old toilet paper rolls or just rolled up paper if you have any. You can make paper hats to put inside, and put what ever you have available as a treat (such as a tea bag, a piece of candy etc.), plus make sure you don't forget to add a really bad joke/pun to make it feel authentic.

Make a charcuterie platter.  This does not mean you have to go out and buy lots of additional food. In many cases it comes down to simply how you present the food you have. For examples for my roommates I am going to make black olive and carrot penguins to share. Taking the time to make your dinner look really nice will add a nice festive touch.

Fire is always a way to make an evening feel fancy. If you have a real fireplace or firepit light it up. If you have candles enjoy. If you do not have either search on YouTube and find the perfect fireplace for you. Some are simply, some have music, and some are based around a particular fandom which is always fun.

 

Change Things Up for 2021

So as we find the New Year is almost upon us this is a great time to consider changing things up for 2021. For me this is involving changing up my space. I have been cleaning and moving a few items around in my room such as moving some small bookcases around as well as the placement of a few pieces of furniture which is giving my space a new feel. Part of this comes as I read a book on how various people have designed their homes and both gaining inspiration and gaining anti-inspiration (I am not sure what some of these individuals were thinking LOL) 

I feel it is important every year to find ways to demarcate time and periods of time but after everything that has happened for good and bad in 2020 I feel this is even more true today. The great thing is you can make your space feel new even if you have very little time or resources.

1. Moving a few small pieces of furniture around. 

It is surprising how moving something from one spot in a room to another can really change the feel of the room. For example my room now feels more streamlined with a touch of elegancy while still being cozy.

2. Changing the sheets on your bed.

It will be nice to slip into fresh sheets as you fall asleep on New Years Day. If you have extra layers you might also consider changing the blankets on your bed, or maybe keep the same blankets just put them on in a different order.

3. Think creatively about your space.

What is working well and where are your pain points. For example I used to always throw my coat on my desk chair which meant I did not use my chair as much as a chair, I now have a spot in my closet for my coat and am already using my chair more as a chair. Also consider what you wished you had such as a cozy nook and see what you can create using what you have.

4. Anything can be used to decorate.

Sometimes when we think decorating we think about something we would have to buy but most of us have stuff in our homes/apartments we can use. For example as I was organizing I found some paper that was designed for scrapbooking that I rescued from someone long ago. I have taken one piece of the paper and am using it as art on my wall (Trick a combo of push pins and binder clips make a great way to hang things that you will want to be able to change out, and paper items you do not want to poke holes into) and plan on switching it out each month adding a continuously changing spot of color. 

5. Change scents.

If you are unable to try the above for any reason you can always change things up simply by lighting a new candle or using some incense or burning some sage.

 

3 micro-steps to a Happy New Year

 

The next holiday which is on the docket is New Years. If you are like me you are seeing infinite ads for various peoples ideas on how to reflect and prep for a new year.  Today I will share a few small steps we all can do before the end of the year.

Reflect on 2020:

What has gone well this year? What has not? What is the best thing that happened to you? What do you want to change in 2021?

Accomplish one micro-task:

Just like it sounds like a micro-task is something that is small and not very time consuming. You might consider wiping down the inside of your fridge, organizing a small hall closet, sending an email you have kept putting off, making an appointment you need to make, or sending Holiday cards if you have not done so yet. 

Ideally you should pick a self contained project (Not a give a mouse a cookie project) that you will be able to accomplish and which will make you feel good about yourself for completing. This is any project that is meaningful to you, not what you think others might see as meaningful or impressive.

Prep yourself:

What do you want to do in 2021 and what steps can you take now so that it will be easier for you?

Example: Wanting to eat healthier

Prep: 

• Dig up a nice reusable water bottle or get one if you need one so that you can always have water on hand
• Make sure you have extra yummy veggies in your fridge so you have easy access to good food choices
• Create a full meal plan for the first week of Jan so a) you have all the ingredients you are going to need, b) you do not have to make choices each day because you can just follow your own plan.

Example: Wanting to do creative pursuits

Prep:

• Make sure you have everything you need for your projects, all in one spot, that is easy to reach when you want to do your project.
• Make sure you have a space to do your project
• Make sure you have bookmarked any book pages or webpages you are going to need to reference

The whole point is if you are planning to make a change you need to prep so that you will be able to hit the ground running and not get bogged down not knowing your next steps or discovering you are missing something that you thought you had and it turns out you need.

Untold Stories

 

So I am trying to get in a few more books before the end of 2020. I have 5 to go at this point to reach my goal of 104 books this year. (And I will write a blog post about my books in a few days.) I recently finished uncorrected proofs of Flowers by Night which I got from the site booksirens.com.

It is a story that looks at multiple characters creating their own found family in first half of the 19th century in Edo—the city that would become Tokyo. It looks at how gender/sexuality/ and disability were understood at the time.

It was interesting how the novel explores how at the time there was an understanding that gender and sexuality was on a spectrum while also providing context for why certain individuals were able to express that spectrum and others were not legally allowed to and it often came down to which class you were considered.

I always love to learn about cultures who have had (at different points in their history often before the western nations came with their very binary ideas of sex, gender, and sexuality and reframed how these cultures understood these concepts) more complex and nuanced understandings of sex, gender, and sexuality.

This is why it is so important that writers dig deep into the histories of other cultures because there are often ideas that do not come back around into general cultural understanding until decades or centuries latter. We who are LGBTQ+ have always been here we just had many different names and understandings which means we need to pay more attention to see where we have been.

The Longest Night

 

The Longest Night

When dawn seems 

Impossibly far away

When peace and hope

Can seem like a

Once upon a time

The Longest Night

Comes in many forms

Physical Longest Nights

Emotional Longest Nights

Temporal Longest Nights

Mental Health Longest Nights

Longest Nights of those who care

The Longest Night

Comes in many forms

But so too does the dawn

You Are Loved

You Are Beloved

You Are Seen

You Belong, You Belong, You Belong

The Longest Night

When dawn seems 

Impossibly far away

When peace and hope

Can seems like a 

Once upon a time

Remember Dawn Will Return

Someday and somehow and sometime

You are not alone when facing

The longest Night, The Longest Night

You are not alone, You are never alone

This is the longest night when many of us honor the fact that this season can be dark for so many of us. That the Holidays are not always filled with joy, especially this year. This is the night we sit will our pain and sorrow and tears and know that we are not alone in our suffering. That there will always be others who have our back. That there will always be others to understand what we are going through. That no matter how we might feel we are Loved and Beloved and we belong. If this is a longest night for you I surround you in my Love.

Here we come: Transportation Secretary

 

If you have been following this blog for a while you will know how much My Pete has impacted me both personally (For example in my post yesterday I mentioned that my theme for 2021 will be Belonging, Boldness, and Joy which come from My Pete's Rules of the Road) and in terms of diving deeper into politics than I ever would have dreamed about doing so before (Even deeper than after Hamilton, Yes I know that is wild talk 😊.)

Today after much discussion (I swear I have seen major new sources such as CNN say he was in the running for absolutely every government job there is, ever has been, or ever will be) it has been announced he is being nominated as transportation secretary. Pete will also be the first out LGBTQ person nominated to a permanent position in a presidential Cabinet. I have to say it means a lot to see someone from my LGBTQ+ community be selected for a cabinet level role.  

Transportation secretary will be a great fit for him (I mean in his memoir he talks about the data that went into creating “The smartest sewers in the world” so this feels right up his ally) Also on a personal note I like he has a US based role and in addition I think Chasten will be happy with Pete in Transportation.

Congratulations Secretary Elect of Transportation.

New Year: Themes Not Resolutions

 

We are at that time of year where we all start to process the year past and look forward to the next year. This is also a time when many people are making resolutions and plans for what they want to do and who they want to be in the New Year. 

Now if resolutions work for you go ahead, always pick the methods of reflection which work for you but for the last several years I have picked themes instead. 

In 2017 and 2018 my theme was "Burn the candles, Drink the tea, Use the lotion"

In 2019 my theme was "Magic"

For 2020 my theme was "Live Lighter, Dive/Dig Deeper" which turned out to be very apt for how the year turned out. 

And my theme for 2021 will be "Belonging, Boldness, and Joy"

So as 2020 finally draws to an end and 2021 is about to begin what do you want to be your theme or focus? This can be you center point or drishti or a simple reminder of what is most important to you as you go about your life in the next year. (This does not have to be something complex or hard, for example the theme for this January's 30 Days of Yoga with Adriene is Breathe. Breathing is something that we all do, but also something we need to be reminded to do too) 

Hanukkah, Hanukkah, Happy Hanukkah

 

Happy Happy Hanukkah

Here is a collection of 8 Chanukah Songs for this season

Six13 - A Hamilton Chanukah (with introduction from President Barack Obama)

Six13 - Bohemian Chanukah (a Queen adaptation)

Six13 - arianukah (an ariana grande chanukah)

Six13 - A Star Wars Chanukah

Six13 - Chanukah ("Shake It Off")

Six13 - Feliz Chanukah (Live)

Six13 and Friends - Haneirot Halalu (a Chanukah Song)

Six13 presents: A Nice Jewish Boy Band Chanukah

And a bonus song for your Shamash

Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah

Just A Little Interlude

 

Today has been a day

Of completing a few work projects

So this shall be a short interlude

A mini mid week break

Today is a day

So breath

So rest

So create

Today the sun came out

It has been gone a long time

Sun? What is Sun? I am confused.

That glowy thing in the sky

Today is a day

So breath

So rest

So create

Today is a day to celebrate

Celebrate because it is just a day

Celebrate with a cup of tea

Celebrate with a moment pause

Today is a day

So breath

So rest

So create

Destressing The Holiday Season

 

For the Holiday season I have set a high bar for myself in terms of activities, projects, and to-dos I hope to get done by the end of the year which means I have been finding myself stressed out.

I have been finding I have to take a step back and get a birds eye view of what I want to get done. I have to take a minute and think about why each item is on my to-do list and if my plans align with that why. Because 2020 has been 2020 I want to stay busy so that I feel like I have done as much as I can this year but I also have to remember that staying busy does not mean I have to do 20 things everyday.

I have also found it is important for me to add self care tasks to my daily list to make sure that I actually get to them. For December this looks like having a cup of tea and using some lotion each and every day. (These self care tasks have the added benefit of helping me work towards my goal doing a deep clean for the New Year, because I am using up little bits in different containers and I have a better idea of what I do have in these categories)

As we continue on in the Holiday Season make sure you give yourself a break. This year is not going to look like past years so don't judge yourself using the same rubric. Know that no matter how it turns out it will be one to remember and it means that 2020 is almost over and we will soon be able to welcome 2021.

More Glass Ceilings Shattering

Last week I discussed some of the Glass Ceilings that Biden was helping to shatter. Here is another round of broken glass making the ground sparkle like newly fallen snow. 

Cecilia Rouse was nominated as chair of the Council of Economic Advisers. If confirmed, she'll be the first Black woman, and just the fourth woman overall, to lead the CEA since it was established nearly 75 years ago.

Neera Tanden was nominated as director of the Office of Management and Budget, and would become the first woman of color and the first South Asian American to oversee the agency if she is confirmed.

President-elect Joe Biden named an all-female White House communications team, which is the first time this has happened.

First Black deputy secretary of the Treasury: Adewale "Wally" Adeyemo

First Hispanic American White House social secretary: Carlos Elizondo

I am impressed by the number of glass ceilings which are already being broken by Biden and his Administration.  The more people who are in the room where it happens or have a seat at the table the more robust and just policies become. There are clearly going to be people with life experiences and cultural experiences that have not had the opportunity or chance to be in these rooms before. 

 

World AIDS Day 2020

 

What is World AIDS Day?

Each year, on 1 December, the world commemorates World AIDS Day. People around the world unite to show support for people living with HIV and to remember those who have died from AIDS-related illnesses.

Founded in 1988, World AIDS Day was the first ever international day for global health. Every year, United Nations agencies, governments and civil society join together to campaign around specific themes related to HIV.

• Awareness-raising activities take place around the globe. 
• Many people wear a red ribbon, the universal symbol of awareness of, support for and solidarity with people living with HIV.
• People living with HIV make their voice heard on issues important in their lives. 
• Groups of people living with HIV and other civil society organizations involved in the AIDS response mobilize in support of the communities they serve and to raise funds.
• Events highlight the current state of the epidemic.

World AIDS Day remains as relevant today as it’s always been, reminding people and governments that HIV has not gone away. There is still a critical need for increased funding for the AIDS response, to increase awareness of the impact of HIV on people’s lives, to end stigma and discrimination and to improve the quality of life of people living with HIV.

This Years Theme:

In 2020, the world’s attention has been focused by the COVID-19 pandemic on health and how pandemics affect lives and livelihoods. COVID-19 is showing once again how health is interlinked with other critical issues, such as reducing inequality, human rights, gender equality, social protection and economic growth. With this in mind, this year the theme of World AIDS Day is “Global solidarity, shared responsibility”.

COVID-19 has demonstrated that, during a pandemic, no one is safe until everyone is safe. Leaving people behind is not an option if we are to succeed. Eliminating stigma and discrimination, putting people at the centre and grounding our responses in human rights and gender-responsive approaches are key to ending the colliding pandemics of HIV and COVID-19.

Assorted Programs and Music in Honor of World AIDS Day. 

• World Aids Day 2020/Virtual Music Present (Crossing The Sky) 
• World Aids day 2020 Song title: We Heal as one 
• “Fix You” World AIDS Day Celebration with Twin Cities Gay Men's Chorus & The Aliveness Project  
• "Hope" - Alida McKeon (Video for World AIDS Day 2020: A National Conversation)
• World Aids Day Final -- A listing of some of those who have died from AIDS.
• RED (Song for Worlds A.I.D.S DAY)
• A Little Respect- World Aids Day Tribute!
• Brighton & Hove World Aids Day Concert 2020
• World AIDS Day 2020 - CHOOSE LIFE!
• World AIDS Day Seasons of Love
• World Aids Day Afro-Canadian Positive Network of BC
• AHF India - World AIDS Day Release - Yeh Khwaab by Madhushree

Dec: Prepping for a New Year

 

One last month before a New Year

One last period to plan and reflect

One last time to organize and simplify

One last chance to say Goodbye 2020

One last month before a New Year

Tomorrow is officially December. The last month of 2020 which for many of us is good news, good news indeed. This also means this is a period of time when we tend to reflect on the year past and dream about what we want the year ahead to look like. You might consider taking on a challenge for the month of Dec or try out a New Year's resolution you are thinking about.

Trying out a resolution means you can see what needs tweaking. Do you have too many planed resolutions? Are they unclear? Does it turn out you need some type of support (material or encouragement based) to stick to your resolutions? And to be honest if you can't keep your resolutions because of time or commitment or ability in Dec you probably will struggle with them come Jan.

Or you might consider going back to your resolutions from January. I will be framing a lot of my Dec and Dec activities around checking in if I succeeded to Live Lighter/Dive Deeper this year.

If you are not sure where you could begin for a Dec challenge consider:

• Journaling: Each day reflecting on 2020 and what you would like 2021 to be.

• Winter Cleaning: Deep cleaning part of your home or simply challenge yourself to find a new home (in the trash or recycling, donating or gifting, writing a card and mailing it) for 1 item each day.

• Treat yo' self: Have a perfect cup of tea or coffee each day, use lotion each day, take a bath with salts or bubbles, listen to your favorite music, dance, burn candles, have a home made meal or baked good, fall asleep to various YouTube fireplaces.

• Connecting: Write cards, send e-mails, call on the phone, text.

• Holiday Activities: See how many holiday activities you can fit in this holiday season, movies, TV specials, virtual holiday concerts, virtual meet and greets, virtual worship services/programs.

Celebrate this Holiday Season

Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate

You will not be able to do it all and

It may look different from years past

Filled with Joy and Sorrow

Filled with Darkness and Light

Filled with Hope and Wonder

So lean on what you can this season

Old Traditions and New Traditions Too

Celebrate, Celebrate, Celebrate

Celebrate this Holiday Season

Remembering Someone Lost

A Facebook acquaintance*

I am not sure from where or when

Passed away 

COVID

I do not know the person well

But saw their posts

About cats getting in trouble

About loving Disney World

About their husband who would not

Let them spend ALL their money on online shopping

Mid November they were excited

To be buying a house with their husband

And now they are no longer

And I know that COVID means

Many are no longer

But this random Facebook acquaintance's death

Is making me feel somehow.

Everyone please stay safe.

Everyone please stay safe.

Everyone please stay safe.

*Christopher Dzikowski

 

Thanksgiving

 

This Thanksgiving

Will look different from years past

So this is a moment

To be grateful for those things

That do not change

Thankful for there being colors to see

Thankful for there being sounds to hear

Thankful for there being smells to smell

Thankful for there being tastes and taste

Thankful for there being feelings to feel

So this is a moment

To be grateful for those things

That have changed this year

Thankful for zoom calls

Thankful for being more in touch

Thankful for feeling connected

Thankful for the internet

Thankful for wild memories

So on this Thanksgiving 

Which is different from all other years

Still appreciate

Still be grateful

Still be thankful

 

3+ Glass Ceilings Shattering

 

Finally after way too long, today the current administration is to begin the Biden transition protocols that they have been dragging their feet about, since they felt a need to make this transition as challenging as possible.

In addition Biden has shared some of his nominees for various roles in the government. Among this list is a whole bunch of glassing ceilings that will be breaking. (Now it will all depend on if congress agrees but at this moment I will just celebrate and not worry about that practicality)

Biden plans to nominate former Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen to head the Treasury Department who would be the first women in that role.

Biden plans to nominate Alejandro Mayorkas to head the Department of Homeland Security who would be both the 1st Latino and 1st immigrate in the post.

Biden plans to nominate Avril Haines as the Director of National Intelligence who would be the first woman to lead the intelligence community.

In addition Biden plans to nominate Linda Thomas-Greenfield for the position of U.S. ambassador to the United Nations. While she is not the first, I believe she is only the second Black Woman to hold that role which means while she may not be newly breaking a ceiling she is making the hole larger so more will be able to follow her more easily.

There is suppose to be another list of nominations that are shared tomorrow and I will collect the breaking ceilings from that list and share in a later post.

Trans Day Of Remembrance 2020

 

On this day we remember those of use who have been killed this year. Our hearts break for those of our siblings whose lives have been lost. So today on this 22nd Transgender Day of Remembrance, we honor the below lives lost so far in 2020. 

Dustin Parker, 25, was fatally shot in McAlester, Oklahoma, early on New Year’s Day. His employers released a statement shortly after his death, remembering Parker as “a steadfast friend, an amazing husband and father and generous to a fault. He loved fiercely, worked tirelessly and took on life with so much hope and enthusiasm that his presence brightened all of our lives.”

Neulisa Luciano Ruiz, was fatally shot in Toa Baja, Puerto Rico on February 24. According to Metro Puerto Rico, members of her community knew her as "humble" and "noble."

Yampi Méndez Arocho, 19, was killed in Moca, Puerto Rico, on March 5. Arocho, a transgender man, shared his love for basketball and the NBA -- donning Miami Heat apparel on social media. The biography line on his Facebook reads simply, “Humility Prevails.”

Scott/ Scottlynn Devore, a 51-year old gender non-conforming person, was killed in Augusta, Georgia. Friends remembered Devore as “sweet” and “beautiful” on Facebook.

Monika Diamond, 34, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Charlotte, North Carolina on March 18. Diamond was active in the Charlotte LGBTQ and nightlife community and was the co-owner of an event promotion company. She also was the co-CEO of the International Mother of the Year Pageantry System -- a pageant that honors LGBTQ mothers.

Lexi, 33, a transgender woman, was killed in Harlem, New York on March 28. According to reports, Lexi was fatally stabbed in Harlem River Park. “I really looked up to her because of her tolerance and respect,” said Lavonia Brooks, a friend of Lexi. “Lexi had a beautiful heart, she was very gifted.” Brooks also noted that Lexi loved poetry, makeup and fashion.

Johanna Metzger, a transgender woman, was killed in Baltimore, Maryland on April 11. According to reports, she was visiting a Baltimore recovery center from Pennsylvania at the time. Johanna was known for her love of music and taught herself to play multiple instruments.

Serena Angelique Velázquez Ramos, 32, was killed in Puerto Rico on April 21. Ramos was killed alongside Layla Pelaez Sánchez, 21. According to reports, Ramos was visiting the island on vacation, and was set to return to her home in Queens, New York, at the end of the month. Loved ones are mourning her death, calling her “full of life,” a “happy person,” and a “sincere friend.” On May 1, two men were charged under federal hate crimes law for Ramos's death.

Layla Pelaez Sánchez, 21, was killed in Puerto Rico on April 21. Sánchez was killed alongside Serena Angelique Velázquez Ramos. According to reports, Sánchez had recently moved to the island, and was living in the Tejas neighborhood in Las Piedras. On May 1, two Puerto Rican men were charged under federal hate crimes law for Sánchez's death.

Penélope Díaz Ramírez, a transgender woman, was killed in Puerto Rico on April 13. “Penélope did not deserve to die. Transgender people do not deserve to die. Every single advocate, ally, elected official and community member must stand up in light of this horrific news and say ‘No more.’ What we are doing is not enough,” said Tori Cooper, HRC Director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative.

Nina Pop, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Sikeston, Missouri, on May 3. She was deeply loved by her family, friends and community, according to her Facebook page.

Helle Jae O’Regan, 20, a transgender woman, was killed in San Antonio, Texas, on May 6. O’Regan was proud of her trans identity and on Twitter, she often spoke out against injustice, including the LGBTQ inequality, the prison industrial complex and the need to decriminalize sex work. Damion Terrell Campbell, 42, has been charged with O’Regan’s murder.

Tony McDade, a Black transgender man, was killed in Tallhassee, Florida, on May 27. His friends and family shared how he was an energetic, giving person with a big heart.

Dominique “Rem'mie” Fells, a Black transgender woman was killed in Philadelphia, Pennsyania, on June 9. One personal friend posted online, “Dom was a unique and beautiful soul who I am lucky to have known personally. I am beside myself right now. We need to fight!! We need to do more!!!! We will get justice.”

Riah Milton, a 25-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Liberty Township, Ohio on June 9. In March, she posted the status “Never been scared to struggle. Imma get it eventually” -- a comment highlighting her resilience and optimism as a person facing a transphobic, misogynist and racist society.

Jayne Thompson, a 33-year old white transgender woman, was killed in Mesa County, Colorado, on May 9. She was killed by a Colorado State Patrol trooper and misgendered in initial news reports.

Selena Reyes-Hernandez, a 37-year old transgender woman, was killed in Chicago on May 31. “We have lost a beloved member of our trans family because of hate -- hate that has corrupted our country’s soul and that shatters lives and futures every day,” said Tori Cooper, HRC director of community engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative.

Brian “Egypt’ Powers, a 43-year old Black transgender person, was killed in Akron, Ohio, on June 13. Powers worked at a local catering company and is remembered for wearing long, colorful braids -- “unicorn braids,” as Powers called them.

Brayla Stone, a 17-year old Black transgender girl, was found killed in Little Rock, Arkansas, on June 25. “Brayla Stone was a child. A child, just beginning to live her life. A child of trans experience. A Black girl. A person who had hopes and dreams, plans and community,” said Tori Cooper, HRC director of community engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative. On September 4, a man was arrested on a murder charge in connection to her death.

Merci Mack, a 22-year old Black transgender woman, was killed in Dallas, Texas, on June 30. Her loved ones shared how beautiful of a friend she was. On her social media, she had recently posted that she enjoyed baking and that she was looking forward to returning to work. On July 8, a man was arrested on a murder charge in connection to her death.

Shaki Peters, a 32-year old Black transgender woman, was killed in Amite CIty, Louisiana, on July 1. “In just four days, we have seen the deaths of at least three transgender and gender non-conforming people, including Shaki Peters. This horrific spike in violence against our community must be an urgent call to action for every single person in this nation,” said Tori Cooper, Director of Community Engagement for HRC’s Trans Justice Initiative.

Bree Black, a 27-year-old Black transgender woman, was killed in Pompano Beach, Florida, on July 3. “These killings are being fueled by the deadly combination of racism and transphobia, and they must cease. We must come together as a community and demand justice for those who were taken from us,” said Tori Cooper, Director of Community Engagement for HRC’s Trans Justice Initiative.

Summer Taylor, a white non-binary person, was in Seattle, Washington, on July 4. Taylor was participating in the Black Femme March in solidarity with Black Lives Matter and against police brutality. Taylor worked full time at Urban Animal veterinary hospital.

Marilyn Cazares was a transgender Latina killed in Brawley, California. Mindy Garcia, an aunt of Cazares, said she “loved to sing and dance” and “never bothered anyone.”

Dior H Ova, who some reports identify as Tiffany Harris, a Black transgender woman, was killed in the Bronx, New York. According to her Facebook, Ova loved fashion -- listing her career as a personal shopper and posting photos with luxury fashion brands that she loved. On August 13, a man was arrested on a murder charge in connection to her death.

Queasha D Hardy, a 22-year old Black transgender woman, was killed in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, on July 27. Hardy, a hairstylist, was extremely loved by her community. Friends and loved ones describe her as loyal, loving, “always smiling,” “the life of all parties” and “truly one of a kind.”

Aja Raquell Rhone-Spears, who sometimes used the name Rocky Rhone, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Portland, Oregon, on July 28. According to Facebook, she studied at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and was the owner and founder of International Barbie, a Portland-based clothing brand.

Lea Rayshon Daye, a 28-year old Black transgender woman, died in Cuyahoga County Jail in Cleveland, Ohio on August 30. “Lea’s death is unacceptable. Increased risk factors such as homelessness, combined with racism, sexism and transphobia, conspired to lead to a death that never should have happened,” said Tori Cooper, HRC Director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative.

Kee Sam, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Lafeyette, Louisiana, on August 12. “We must all speak up in support of trans and gender non-conforming people and affirm that Black Trans Lives Matter,” said HRC’s Tori Cooper, Director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative.

Aerrion Burnett, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Indepedence, Missouri, on September 19. Her friends and family shared “if you wanted to have a good day, you need to smile, Aerrion was the person you wanted by your side.”

Mia Green, a 29-year old Black transgender woman, was killed in Philadelphia on September 28. Her friends and family shared how “her smile was so perfect and so contagious. She made me laugh.”

Michelle Michellyn Ramos Vargas, a transgender woman from Puerto Rico in her mid-30s, was killed in San Germán, Puerto Rico on September 30. “This level of violence— any level of violence — is unacceptable. We are not doing enough to protect transgender and gender non-conforming people, especially trans women,” said HRC’s Tori Cooper, Director of Community Engagement for the Transgender Justice Initiative.

Felycya Harris, a 33-year old transgender woman, was killed in Augusta, Georgia in October. Felycya was an interior decorator who ran her own company where she enjoyed lending her eye to improve the surroundings of others, and made others feel comfortable in their own space.

Brooklyn Deshuna, 20, a Black transgender woman, was killed in Shreveport, Louisiana, on October 7. Brooklyn attended Bossier Parish Community College and studied cosmetology.

Sara Blackwood, a transgender woman, was killed in Indianapolis, Indiana on October 11, recognized as National Coming Out Day. She enjoyed playing video games and was a fan of the show “My Little Pony.”

Angel Unique, a 25-year old Black transgender woman, was killed in Memphis, Tennessee, on October 25. A licensed cosmetologist, friends and family of Angel remembered her for being “very funny, very nice to everybody she met” and “such a bright person [with] a positive spirit.”

Yunieski Carey Herrera, also known as Yuni Carey, a 39-year old Latina transgender woman was killed in Miami, Fl. on Nov. 17. Herrera was a well-known model, performer, dancer and activist loved by the LGBTQ community in Miami. A friend of Herrera described her as “besides being strikingly beautiful, she was kind and she was good.”

Complexities of Conversation

 

I have been taking a free class online on sex and gender throughout history. I also got lost in the comments and ended up in conversation with someone who had vastly different understandings of sex and gender. I will only include my own responses. I am not including the person's screen name and while I disagree with her this is not a judgment call. (Also as is clear over the last few days I have composed several long responses so I figured I could count all that writing towards this blog LOL)

The whole conversation started with another fellow student asking how those who might consider themselves more conservative feminists would fit within the working definition we were using for class that feminists were anyone who was involved in a "political movement or programme that was aimed at bettering women’s social status."

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I think those who would consider themselves part of a "conservative feminism" would see themselves as "bettering women’s social status" by bettering the social status of "being a wife and mother" which they would see as bettering the social status of what they consider the best roles for women.

In general what it means to "Better women's social status" is highly dependent on the particular backgrounds and traumas a particular group of women have experienced. There is no clear "one answer" which is one of the struggles of the women's movement overall.

I would guess that we will cover more of the diversity of views when we get to looking at intersectionality, I am guessing we will look at the roles race, class, economic status, community supports, all play in what a woman or a group of women is seeking when they call for change..

Using a related example is the movement for LGBTQ+ rights in my home country (USA), at one point marriage equality became the over all focus/goal, but that focus was seen as predominantly a cis-gendered white issue, as many trans women of color point out they are still fighting so that they will not be murdered.

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Maybe I was not clear I was using marriage equality as an personal example to show all movements encompass a wide range of individuals with different backgrounds so there are different understandings of what the goals of such movements should be.

For example: As a white women I am always aware that historically white women have stood in the way of conversations around BIPOC women's experiences and the complex challenges they face/needs they have.

Your comment ""Cis-gendered" is rejected by many feminists as suggests we're comfortable with socially constructed gender stereotypes." gave me something to think about.

In communities I have been involved with using the term cis-gendered is a way to call out my own privilege. The challenges of cis-gendered and trans gendered women are related but are not the same. I have used the term cis-gendered in the past to highlight that I am aware of my own privilege and recognize that other women do not have the same institutional privileges.

I also understand language means different things to different individuals/communities and I apologize to my trans sisters if I have used the wrong language/used outdated language.

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Yes women across the world face various forms of oppression, and what that looks like depends on where they live, but those who are transgender especially those who are trans women face oppression on multiple levels, the oppression felt by all women in their cultural context + oppression because they are trans.

While we can disagree about exactly which rights/who we mean when we use a term like feminist, I personally can not agree that trans women are more privileged than other women in the same cultural context or that trans women of color in general are somehow more privileged than I am in general as a cis-gendered white women, in America.

I don't personally know any cultural context where trans women are more privileged than cis-women when background, race, and socioeconomic status are the same, though plenty where both groups are deeply oppressed. And saying otherwise "feels"* like an attack on my trans sisters and an attack on me as a cis-gendered woman.

In the USA this Friday happens to be Transgender Day of Remembrance so I am particularly sensitive to these issues.
 
We can disagree about feminism but not that trans women are women, and are oppressed too.

* This was in response to her comment (emphasis added): "Many women don't feel they're any more privileged than, for example, some who have lived/worked most of their lives as a boy/man with advantages that may entail ..." 

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Also I have to say this has been an interesting conversation we have had about how different communities of women in different contexts have different ideas about privileged/oppression. I simply have heard many first hand accounts from friends about the multiple layers of oppression they face as trans women.

I think instead of competing for who is the most oppressed we need to build a bigger tent that is self aware and makes sure that the complexities of intersectionality is wrestled with. Every women (cis-women, trans women, other female identified individuals, and nonbinary individuals) faces oppression in some contexts and privilege in others and no two women have the exact same experiences. We need to work together in order to create more just systems where we all can thrive.

Also to your point "It suggests women & girls are oppressed because of their "gender" (some say they identify with) rather than because they were born the female sex." Yes this is true or maybe a better word would be "and/or" vs. "rather" since women face discrimination both because of their sex and their gender and their gender expression.

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Then the other student said 

" I don't have a "gender expression"-I'm a woman." 

"I'm not convinced that women are discriminated against because of perceived gender-it's because of our sex & because we have female bodies."

(Now I completely disagree because I know that there are many forms of discrimination and while it can be because someone has a female body all too often discrimination occurs because how someone expresses themselves does not fit what others in a particular community/organization think that looks like but at this point this conversation had been occurring in the comments over several days and I was done)

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Well then I simply wish you find the language that works for you to describe your own sex/gender/gender expression. For me and many of my friends and my communities we find such language useful to talk about our experiences, to put those experiences in a wider context, and to look at who historically has been allowed a seat at the table when we have these conversations. But if that framework does not work for you that is ok and I hope you find a framework which works for you.

Wresting with sex/gender/gender expression is a very personal journey and each of us takes different paths and draws different conclusions.

Also one final note I never said you had to or should use cis-gender etc. language for yourself, I simply said that I personally use such language to describe myself because it is the language that makes me the most comfortable and feels to me like it best describes my personal experiences and the experiences of many of those I care about.

(Thank You, in my circles this is simply the language that we all use to be inclusive, you have reminded me that different groups of feminists see that language differently, it has been eye opening)

Have a great day.

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This whole conversation ended on a relative good note, considering it all. The other student said:

"Thanks. It's good to express disagreement in a respectful discussion. I think there are too many assumptions that everyone is OK with language being changed in a way, which many women feel excludes them & their experiences."

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So did I change her mind? Nope. Did she change my mind? Nope. But I still feel it was a fruitful conversation even if there were several comments not mentioned here which fell like attacks on me and my identity as a woman. It was also interesting how strong her reaction was to my use of cis-gendered to describe myself and my own privilege. How she was able to interpret how I identified myself as an attack on her.  

While I won't say this was an easy conversation it was also doable because it was with a stranger I will never hear from again but in the end I think this can be an example about how we can try to have hard conversations with others.

I also learned that there are more people who have strong reactions to what I have already assimilated into my awareness of issues around sex and gender. I often forget that everyone has not had the same experiences I have had and that means they have very different understandings.

So there is no Big summary or result of this conversation but I still found it interesting and therefore am sharing.

2020 is not 1647

Why is this (season) different from all other (past holidays)? 

Yes this is a rift on a line from one of the spring holidays but it works for right now too. I keep seeing and hearing this false dichogamy between being safe and celebrating the holidays. None of the fall and winter holidays have been canceled. 2020 is not 1647, there has been no ban on being festive. 

I also know that I have a different point of view because for the last decade I have not spent the holidays in person with family/friends (because work etc. ) but this is no way means I have not celebrated any of these holidays. 

For example this was last year when I had Thanksgiving Dinner with my Pete, Ganesh, and Hamilton in front of a fireplace:

For those who think somehow we have time traveled to 1647 here are some reminders of ways you can celebrate this fall in a perfectly safe manner.

Have a Fictional Holiday: 

The great thing with Fictional Holidays is you can experience them again again and again plus you can have it on another planet or on a spaceship or in a different timeline. You can celebrate with people who would never end up in the same room. 

For example the picture below is just a draft of my Thanksgiving this year and includes Pete and Chasten, Buddy and Truman, The 8th and 13th Doctors, The TARDIS, Heat Wave and Captain Cold, plus Wentworth Miller and by the time I am done I will probably invite a few others. 

Have a Zoom Thanksgiving:

This will probably be the most common version this year. This option gives you the opportunity to celebrate with people geographically isolated, that friend who is overseas, someone who you have never met nor will meet in person but are internet friends with.

Create Something:

Maybe you write a poem of thanks to friends and family and mail it to them (helping saving the post office too.) Maybe you write a Thanksgiving song since there are too few of those. Maybe you film and share an Thanksgiving dance to bring a smile to others faces.

So in review 2020 is not 1647. 

There are still many ways to celebrate all the fall and winter holidays, for some they will look different, for some they will look the same as always, but the Holidays will go on. We can choose to do the responsible thing and not meet in groups which will lead to the death of those we care about. 

Get creative

Have a great time

Find ways to make the Holidays even more meaningful and fun than before

Do Not Kill Anyone.