Dive Deep: Celebrate Mid Year

Congrats!!! 

You have made it through half of 2020. 

And given how 2020 is going that is an accomplishment. 

So this is a short reminder to celebrate

Put on some tunes and have a dance party for one

Drink the tea, Burn the candles, Use the lotion.

Get all cozy 

Or

Get all sweaty

Or

Get all you

It is important that we remember the small things

The things you have overcome so far

The things you have accomplished so far 

Living in 2020

Living in "Interesting Times"

Living just Living our lives

Remember you are Wonderful

Remember you are Amazing

Remember you are Awesome

So celebrate inside your home

So celebrate virtually with friends

So celebrate every breath you get to take

Congrats!!! 

You have made it through half of 2020

Congrats!!!

(P.S. The next blog post will give you ideas as you reflect on the first half of the year and make plans for the second half of the year, but work comes later, right now simply celebrate)

Happy Pride Weekend

Happy Pride Weekend

This year Pride looks different

But some truths are always true

You are Loved, You are Beloved, You Belong

Cis-gendered or Transgendered or Non-binary

You are Loved, You are Beloved, You Belong

Ace or Aro or Pan or Poly or Hetero or Gay or Bi

You are Loved, You are Beloved, You Belong

Original or Traditional or Mindbending Bold

You are Loved, You are Beloved, You Belong

Happy Pride Weekend

Put on some cool pride tunes

Dance and Celebrate and Party

Because some truths are always true

You are Loved, You are Beloved, You Belong

A visual list of Pride Resources: 

(I did not create any of these infographics myself)

Some Pride Flag Meanings:

Romantic/Sexual Spectrums: 

Some types of attraction: 

And last but not least I will leave you with a song:

Live Lighter: 5 Life Lessons From Cleaning My Apartment

So I am in the middle of a period of cleaning since one of my roommates is moving out and another is moving in. I figure this is a good time to reorganize my stuff and dust etc. This is not the first period of cleaning I have done, nor will it be the last. As I proceed with this cleaning though I have found several life lessons which I hope are useful for you.

1. Slow and Steady Is The Way:

When taken as a whole, a task can be overwhelming and we can feel finishing is impossible, (Impossible either as in large complex and challenging or Impossible as someone's "Impossible Task"), but if we break our tasks into smaller pieces and do one tiny step at a time it can be amazing what we can accomplish. Put away 5 items, Write 1 sentence, Listen to 1 person.

2. Everything Takes More Time

No matter how much time we schedule for a cleaning task (or a life task) it is very likely it will take more time than planned. That is OK. All this means is we need to give ourselves grace and personal deadline extensions. Don't beat yourself up if the task takes extra time. 

3. Recognize And Honor Seasons

When cleaning we often find that we don't have to have everything of a certain category out at the same time. It is great to have a few boxes of stuff neatly put away so we can change things up. For example, changing the color palette of your space can make everything feel new. It is also important that we recognize and honor personal seasons in our lives. What activities and items and thoughts served us well in the past may differ from those which serve us in the present moment. Sometimes a passion needs to be boxed up neatly so we can focus on other things and later we can bring it out once again.

4. Everything Is Better With Music

Depending on the task there is music that calms us down and helps us focus and music that energizes us to keep going as we get lost in the beat. So when in doubt put on your favorite tunes to make your task fly by quicker.

5. It Will Never Be Perfect 

It will never be perfect! The apartment will never be completely clean. The paper will never be perfectly written. The understanding will never be perfectly clear. The personal connection will never be perfectly deep. And that is OK :)

Dive Deeper: Exploring My Polish Historical-Cultural Heritage

Cooked By Lisa Rothman
Photo By Kris Adamik

Cooked By Lisa Rothman
Photo By Kris Adamik

(I consider my heritages historical-cultural because they were neither highlighted nor did I feel any connections to them growing up. I am exploring these heritages in part because I want to understand what "normal" experiences I had growing up which were really rooted in my various White cultural identities. As #BlackLivesMatter is being highlighted, I can't be my best collaborator if I don't know my own cultural background, and how that background has impacted me in unknown ways)

This story begins with episode 7 of Queer Eye season 5. In this episode, Antoni Porowski was amazingly excited to be able to prepare Polish food in his role as the shows food and wine expert. His excitement made me want to recommit to exploring my own historical-cultural heritage.

6/20/20

(Historical Culture Frames of Reference)

Watching Queer Eye tonight the universe gave me a nudge

A reminder, Yes I should explore my White cultural heritage

Antoni was so excited for Polish food, His cultural background

Reminds me there has to be coolness in my kaleidoscope

Of Polish, Swiss, German, 

Of Romanian, Russian, Austro-Hungarian, 

Of even some French

I mean I have some historical cultural connection to Antoni

I mean I have some historical cultural connection to Marquis de Lafayette

I mean I have some historical cultural connection to my family's friend Einstein

It is time to research these cultural identities 

To try some new foods or learn how to cook others

To better understand my various cultural strands

To better know the privileges and frames of reference I have inherited

So I do not stand wishing I was something that I am not

It is time to research my White cultural identities

Because if I don’t know my own historical reference points

I will be a weaker fighter against White Supremacy

So this week I have started with my Polish historical-cultural heritage. (In honor of Antoni Porowski/Queer Eye :) ) Yesterday I made Pierogi from scratch (see the photos above), using this recipe (Though my filling was what I randomly had on hand). They turned out really well.

While I don't remember having Pierogi growing up (and while I have had many similar foods not sure how often, if ever I have had Pierogi before), I did learn (Going back to Queer Eye) that foods I grew up with such as kielbasa are Polish (I also think some of the cookies I used to make with my grandparents were probably Polish).

My first foray into cooking dishes from my Historical-Cultural Heritage was a lot of fun and I look forward to continuing to do so in the future.

Dive Deep: Juneteenth's Meaning Today

This year marks a new awareness and a deeper conversation around the #BlackLivesMatter movement and a deeper understanding of the need to examine the racism and white supremacy that has been intertwined with this country from the very beginning.

As part of this conversation, there has been a growing interest in Juneteenth, the holiday celebrating the actual end to slavery on June 19th, 1865. 

This was two years after the emancipation proclamation, and two months after the end of the civil war, (because according to the above song by The Roots, texas landowners wanted one more growing season.)

This date has been celebrated in the form of Juneteenth celebrations. In the following clip from 2015, Minnesota musician and actor T. Mychael Rambo explains, why Juneteenth is still commemorated and celebrated in Black communities today. 

In addition, below is an extended conversation from 6/19/20 about the history of Juneteenth, how and in what context Juneteenth is taught, and how Juneteenth intersects with larger movements such as #BlackLivesMatter, #BlackTransLivesMatter, and Pride. This is an important conversation as we struggle to put Juneteenth in context through the lens of 2020.

Finally this year in response to #BlackLivesMatter many companies have promised to recognize Juneteenth but there is a lot variation in how it will be recognized from recurring annual holidays to one time only optional moments of silence. But some are seeing these actions as performative allyship without meaningful substance behind it.

Juneteenth in the year 2020 is a moment to pause and sit with the racist and white suprematist history of this country. One period of this history included counting Blacks as 3/5's of a person and the widespread of holding Blacks as slaves because our country wanted free labor. Today this legacy can be seen in our criminal justice system, de facto segregated communities, and unequal access to resources such as money and public services. 

Celebrating Juneteenth is part of a much larger conversation so today I challenge you to:

• Participate or view one of the many Juneteenth celebrations happening virtually. 
• Listen to Black voices on the experience and effect of racism (Ex: Ted Talks focused on racism in America)
• Listen to Black musicians (Spotify will make it easy: The playlist ‘New Music Friday’ will exclusively feature black artists on Friday, June 19th). 
• Support Black-owned businesses. 
• Support Black authors. 
• Donate to Black-led organizations and nonprofits
• Watch media created by black artists (Plays, Films, ...)

. 

Living Lighter: Expectations

One way I am working on Living Lighter is being honest and flexible with my expectations around myself and others. No one is able to do everything. No one! But everyone can do something. It can too easily feel like if we can not solve the whole problem, complete the whole task, clean the whole house, there is no reason to start. But in reality, the only way progress is ever made is through the collective weight of many small actions added up together.

It is too easy to forget that people are on different spots on every spectrum. For example, I am someone who found one of the personal results of Covid-19 was social interactions have become more overwhelming for me. While many others are seeking more interactions, I am finding I am avoiding them. I will watch your zoom meeting or panel discussion but don't call me out during them to speak up. My introverted tendency to watch, think, and process before responding (typically in written form) makes being put on the spot uncomfortable.

Recognizing this has been important to keep me from judging individuals who have more extroverted tendencies and who actually need more social (often in person) interaction now as Covid-19 lockdowns are lifted. And recognizing the importance of giving myself grace no matter how quickly or not quickly I appear to move along some socially constructed Covid-19 transition timeline. Just because I am going slower does not mean that I am not making progress. Just because others are going faster does not mean they are choosing wrong either.

I find that the effect of personal expectations can be complex. While having a plan on what I want to accomplish is important, so too is giving myself grace when I don't get to everything on the list. One tip I have learned is to make category-based lists. These lists are less lists of what exactly I should be doing and more guidelines of areas I want to focus on. 

For example, My June daily list is:

• Fitness
• Pride
• #BlackLivesMatter
• Spiritual
• Work Week/Week End (Depending on if M-F or Saturday/Sunday in order to separate these time periods)
• Other

I try to make sure to do something in each category each day. What that looks like differs from day to day. This goes back to the idea that No one is able to do everything. But everyone can do something. Or as is described in this tweet: Normalize Micro Activism (Or I would say normalize micro change)

Small actions have the most impact. So, for example, you could commit to taking one #BlackLivesMatter action each day such as choosing one thing from a list such as: 

1. Read an article
2. Listen to a Ted Talk
3. Watch a webinar
4. Read a book
5. Listen to stories of BIPOC
6. Donate $
7. Donate Skills
8. Support BIPOC owned and operated businesses
9. Support BIPOC owned and operated non-profits
10. Learn the racial history of your neighborhood (Who used to live there?, Who lives there now?, Why is the racial makeup of your neighborhood the way it is?)
11. Learn about the issues that the BIPOC in your community have raised with your community's institutions and policies
12. Attend anti-racism training

It is not about trying to do everything at once (because you will burn out very quickly) but about the commitment to take one step every day.

Always remember you are moving at your own pace, the speed of the pace is not the most important thing, instead what really matters is simply committing to take a step, and then another step, and never stop.

Dive Deeper: Pride and Progress

This morning the Supreme Court stated that LGBTQ American's can't be fired because of who they love. Why it took until 2020 I do not know. (And why last week on the anniversary of Pulse, another rule change, by the administration, stripped protections for Trans Individuals and legally allowed their access to healthcare to be denied, I don't know, and it breaks my heart.) 

I mean this is personal, as an Ace (asexual), I am part of the LGBTQ+ family. Before today I could have been fired because of my Ace identity. The chances of such an occurrence happening to me with the collective privileges I have as a cis-gendered asexual white woman were low but still real. For individuals who do not have these levels of privileges (such as trans women of color etc), these occurrences happened day-in and day-out. 

Who you are or who you love has zero impact on your ability to do a professional job. 

Pete posted on Facebook putting today in context. 

Now proving that you were fired because your LGBTQ+ identity will still always be hard  (Check out Kimberlé Crenshaw's Ted Talk on intersectionality to see this issue in a different context), but this supreme court ruling is still important progress. 

But I also know while this is a step in the right direction, it is only a step, like gaining marriage equality was just a step. For every step forward we make, the path to full inclusion, full respect for all individuals, full belonging, love, boldness, excellence, and joy, feels like it gets a bit longer. Yes, we are making progress but we still have so far to go.  

Paraphrasing something Billy Porter said during Curator Culture at The [Virtual] Bass with Pete Buttigieg and Billy Porter why are we still debating the humanity of other people? 

I believe as a people, as a community, as a nation, and as a world, we all need to take a deep look at our systems and institutions. We need to acknowledge and lament the white supremacy, homophobia, transphobia, and sexism which has been built into our systems and then boldly rebuild these institutions from the ground up consciously removing these concepts which dehumanize us all. 

So personally, today is a day to celebrate progress, but also a time to think about how long the path has been, and how long the path is still yet to be. As a people, as a country, as a world, we are still debating the humanity of other people. We still are trapped in patterns that say some people count more as people then other people do. All people are people and are worthy of Love and Belonging or as many have said no one is free unless we all are free. Free to live. Free to love. Free to simply be.