Not surprisingly to anyone who follows my work, I will be starting with Wentworth Miller. This past March, Wentworth Miller returned to Instagram after a year and a half away with a powerful message about living life "behind enemy lines" and the impact that has on mental health.
It was the absolutely exact message I needed to hear at that particular moment when the "external forces/external voices" had gotten much louder than normal because I was/am dealing with some major life changes, which my brain is not a fan of.
Since I share a lot of intersectionality (queerness, neurodivergence, mental health struggles, etc.) with Wentworth, my brain trusted his understanding of the situation (or, quoting the West Wing, I know he has already been in the hole and knows the way out.)
I will go into more detail about why my brain trusts Wentworth knows what I am experiencing in a later post (since I doubt anyone wants to read a super long blog post LOL), but for right now I will leave you with Wentworth Miller's post from March 15, 2026, in its entirety.
"Life behind enemy lines..."
A thought like a ping-pong ball bouncing around inside my head these days...
What does that look like?
What are the taxes/tolls? Are there upsides/advantages? Additional languages learned/skillsets acquired? (Is "subtext" a language? Is "hypervigilance" a skillset?)
Where are those lines? On a map? Or less literal. A culture/community. Classroom/church pew. The front door of the house where you grew up.
For some of us, enemy lines can feel like the contours/confines of our own bodies/brains...
What are the costs - mental, physical, spiritual - of days/nights/decades inhabiting spaces you're made to feel illegal/alien/other? Unwelcome? Not just unwelcome but unsafe. In danger. A danger.
To yourself.
No one is born wanting to die, enters this world thinking Life Is Not Worth Living...
I reject that idea.
So if that (fatal) messaging doesn't come from within it can only come from without...
This is good news. It means you want to live.
That (fatal) voice in your head suggesting otherwise = someone else talking. A parent/coach/TV show. So-called sacred text. Billboards along the freeway.
Neat trick tho, external forces convincing you Life Is Not Worth Living, you internalizing the message then self-destructing while those responsible pretend their hands are clean. Clever, convincing you to do their dirty work...
Slow claps all around.
One problem: They failed.
I/you/we remain. Above ground. Breathing in and out. Anyway/still/despite. Picking our way thru the trenches (gentle, gentle), thru a world of Shadow Kings and accomplices, surviving (even thriving) behind enemy lines...
Wherever they may be.
