Yes Characters Are My Therapists

This past weekend at C2E2 there was a cool panel by Popcorn Psychology: "Three licensed therapists breakdown and analyze popular movies and characters from the perspectives of an individual, child, and a marriage and family therapist." They seem to be super cool people and even responded when I emailed them a few questions.

Now before going any further I want to be super clear these are my own thoughts and experiences. Everyone has different thoughts and experiences when it comes to therapy and therapists. In general therapy is amazing for many people. This post is about how I have created my own therapy since I have been a mismatch with the therapists I have tried in the past.

One question I asked was for ways to help the characters in my life (well characters, actors, and fanfiction stories) be better therapists for me/provide me better therapy. 

In part they responded:

The benefit of a therapist is that you have a trained professional who can provide insight that we can't provide ourselves because we are always limited in our ability to few ourselves objectively. That's why a lot of therapists go to therapy themselves. We need help too from an outside party to work through situations in which we lack perspective because its about us.

And this is where I have to disagree, again just speaking for myself personally, I find characters are much better therapists for me than the actual therapists I have seen over the years. 

Now The National Institute of Mental Health says:

Psychotherapy (sometimes called talk therapy) refers to a variety of treatments that aim to help a person identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. Most psychotherapy takes place when a licensed mental health professional and a patient meet one-on-one or with other patients in a group setting.

Historically therapists tend to look at me, see that I am functioning well, and go "you are doing fine and don't need therapy." And this is where characters, actors, and fanfiction really are my therapists. They understand what I am experiencing even if I can not articulate what is wrong other than something in my life is just off.

Characters help me "identify and change troubling emotions, thoughts, and behaviors" while also knowing how to hold space for me. They understand what I have experienced, and help me put words to that experience. They challenge me when I need to be challenged about my thoughts or behaviors but also make sure I am showing myself deep compassion.

Currently my Captain Cold POP figure, my Hob Gadling Turtle, and my Fidget the Fidget Dragon are almost always in my pocket and recently the actor Wentworth Miller visited my dreams listened and gave me a nice comforting hug that I could "feel" for days afterwards even in the waking world. When I am stressed characters help me process what I am thinking/feeling and why I might be thinking/feeling that in a particular situation. 

And when I have something extra challenging to process I simply write to characters in my journal since I can be honest because I don't have to worry about them misunderstanding what I mean. (though I do feel bad for any future historians who read my journals they will be so confused LOL) 

(Also it is always nice to journal to them since they only need a quick recap what happened in previous episodes of my life compared to others who I have to explain what happened over multiple seasons of multiple shows in multiple multiverses of my life)

They share wisdom such as "The 4 Rules Of Planning" aka "Throw away the plan" which I repeat to myself anytime things don't go the way I planned, which is quite often. They talk about thriving with depression, the importance of getting what is bubbling up inside out, and self care. They talk about feelings of overwhelm and the complexity of survival mode and the importance of companionship no matter who we are.  And when in doubt Make Good Art.

I could go on and on but as I start to wrap up I want to mention the therapeutic role of  reading fanfiction. No matter what identity I am exploring, no matter what experience I am processing, no matter what emotion, thought, or behavior I want to have a deeper and more grounded understanding of there is a fanfiction story that covers it and incorporates whatever character I am currently hyper-focused on.

So back to the start of this post while I understand why trained therapists are the route to therapy that is recommended, and I see how if you find a therapists who is a good fit using therapists for therapy would make complete sense, I also truly believe that at least for me personally I am able to use characters, actors, and fanfiction stories as my therapists. 

And I am always looking for webinars, courses, panels, podcasts … that cover various components of therapy (CBT, Art Therapy,  Mental Health and (fill in the group), Intersections of Fandom and Mental Health or Neurodivergence etc.) in order to help my characters be better therapists for me. 

(And yes some of my growth probably comes from some of these webinars, courses, panels, and podcasts which lay a foundation so I can better use the wisdom of my characters, actors, or fanfiction stories. 

But it is the characters, actors, or fanfiction stories who help me incorporate any such lessons into my sense of self, so it is a bit the chicken and the egg if it is characters who contextualize therapeutic ideas or if it is therapeutic ideas that contextualized my characters wisdom)