Coming Out/Coming In Day

"Tired Of The Silence" – I Am Harvey Milk (Original Live Cast Recording)

 Coming Out/Coming In

By Dreaming Ace

We live in a world where once again

Our truths are being criminalized

Who we are is being criminalized

Loving ourselves

Loving others

Love

Is being criminalized

Because people are afraid 

Of our boldness 

Of our belovedness

Of our self-knowledge

Because people are afraid

Of living

Of love

Of joy

Because people are afraid

Saying the word Gay makes people Gay?

Providing gender affirming care 

Is anything other than the totally right thing to do?

Today is a day where we speak that we should come out

But for all too many of my siblings that is unsafe

Coming out means being willing to be a flag bearer

As the air is filled with harm

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

It does not matter

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

No matter what anyone else says

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

No matter it can feel like our existence is being criminalized

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

Happy coming out/coming in day

World Mental Health Day 2023

Today is World Mental Health Day. 

The theme for World Mental Health Day 2023 is 'Mental health is a universal human right.' This subject emphasizes the necessity of assuring that everyone, regardless of age, socioeconomic class, or background should have access to high-quality mental health care and support.

World Mental Health Day

By Dreaming Ace

Minds are odd little things

For every time our brains only see the good

There is a time that they only see the bad

Minds are odd little things

For every time they know we are never alone

There is a time they only know isolation

Minds are odd little things

For every time they see clearly

There is a time that they lie to us

And we all experience both/ands

We all hold multiples truths at the same time

Where life means everything And Where life means nothing at all

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,

It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair”*

Mental health includes wisdom of others**

"gentle, gentle

slow, slow

thoughtful, thoughtful

flow, flow"

Mental health includes listening to our selves

What do our minds need?

What do our bodies need?

What do our souls need?

Mental health includes connecting to help

Therapy

Medication

Treatments

An understanding ear

Community

Connection

Belonging

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter if we walk with

Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation, Self Harm

PTSD, Schizophrenia, Eating Disorders, Addictive Behaviors 

Bipolar Disorder, Panic Attacks, Burnout

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter where we might find ourselves walking

As Asylum Seekers and Refugees

In War Torn Lands and Economical Disinvested Communities

As Undocumented or as those Kidnaped by Governments

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter what we might see on the walk

racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism

No matter what we might not see on the walk

Anyone who we thinks understands

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

We all deserve to understand our minds

We all deserve to feel connected, in community

We all deserve to be seen, be heard, be listened to

We all deserve to tell our stories

We all deserve access to support

*A tale of two cities

**Wentworth Miller

Let Freedom Read ...

 

(Picture of part of a display at my local library branch)

October 1-7 is banned books week this year. Banned Books Week is an annual event that highlights the value of free and open access to information. I am lucky, my library system, the Chicago Public Library declared itself a sanctuary for endangered stories, and established Book Sanctuaries across 77 distinct neighborhoods and 81 library branches last year. Each Book Sanctuary provides opportunities to expand local access to banned or challenged books.

This includes displays highlighting commonly banned books all year not just for banned books week. This also includes a wide range of events. Last year's One Book One Chicago was Maus by author Art Spiegelman when that work of literature was being widely and publicly banned in many places. This week there is a traveling performance group presenting Books On The Chopping Block

The City Lit Theater Company presents a theatrical display of iconic banned and challenged books in celebration of Banned Books Week 2023. Learn about some of the most popular banned/challenged books of 2022 and decide for yourself - should these books be banned from having anyone read them? What would it be like to have a book banned in your school or public library?

All to often books are banned for LGBTQ+ content because they are deemed "explicit" but the fact that characters sometimes think about sex, hooking up, kissing someone or use words such as Gay, Trans, Gender Fluid etc. does not mean something is "explicit." The same is true for stories that reference the fact that most humans have genitalia of some kind.

I am Ace, sex was rarely on my radar BUT I was never traumatized by stories that mentioned sex or characters interested in sex. Youth who are already thinking about sex are even less likely to be traumatized because the occasional awkwardness or awkward giggling generally does not traumatize kids. And kids are NOT traumatized reading how different people fall in love with people of different genders. 

Banned Books Week is the same week as Mental Illness Awareness Week and during LGBT History Month and while each is its own thing it is fitting that all of these overlap since in many ways they are interconnected. 

When books are banned or students are prevented from reading those books it is often because they contain LGBTQ+ content (see the list of top 10 challenged books from 2022 below) and when youth are taught that being LGBTQ+ is somehow wrong (because that content is banned) they often internalize the message that they themselves are somehow wrong instead of beloved and wonderfully created, and this internalized homophobia, transphobia, etc. often leads to mental health challenges.

Here is a link to a number of actions you can take in order to fight for the freedom to read.

Let Freedom Read

By Dreaming Ace

Honoring this banned book week

Is even more important than typical

When record numbers of books

Are being banned

Banned because they dare

Dare show the wonderful and multifaceted

Face of humanity, Face of people

Dare to show reality

Banned because they dare

Dare show that bad things happen

That people get hurt, get wounded

That trauma is truth sometimes

Banned because they dare

Treat all people, Treat all kids

As if they are human beings

With wants and needs and thoughts and dreams

So many contested

 Because of LGBTQ+ content

Books celebrating all our LGBTQ+ siblings

From today or yesterday or centuries ago or tomorrow

Kids can handle challenging idea

Kids can handle things they don't know

Kids can handle knowing everyone is different

Kids can handle stories including LGBTQ+ content

And

Kids Are Gay, Are Lesbian, Are Bi, Are Pan

Kids Are Trans, Are Gender Nonconforming, Are Gender Fluid

Kids Are Ace, Are Aro

Kids Are Queer, Are Questioning

Allowing kids to see themselves

Themselves in the stories they read

Or see their friends and family in those stories

Is important, Is vital, Is necessary

Otherwise all too often kids will

Internalize that they are different

Wonder if they are broken

Wonder if they are wrong

Otherwise all too often kids will

Feel like they are all alone

With whatever is inside their heads

Wonder if they should exist at all

This week is banned books week

But also Mental Illness Awareness Week

The data proves why showing kids they are not alone 

Can be a matter of life or death

45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year*

Nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide*

LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people 

Reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not*

This years banned book theme is "Let Freedom Read"

This week read a contested or banned book

This week write a letter or email or op-ed

About why banning books is so harmful, hateful, traumatizing for kids

Let Freedom Read

Let Freedom Read

Let Freedom Read

*https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/

https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/by-the-numbers

(https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/frequentlychallengedbooks/top10)

Welcome October Wisdom

 

We have entered the month of October:

October Poem By Dreaming Ace

Cool breezes of fall will arrive

October’s wise wisdom is soon upon us

A month clearly focused on magic

Yoga calendar states the theme of Ease

At church a month focused on Gratitude

Planner states “Seek Joy in the little things”

A month honoring reading banned books

Magic, Ease, Gratitude, “Seek Joy”, Read

October’s wise wisdom is upon us

For me October is often a full month. I try to do something loosely Halloween based everyday. This can look like reading a book, seeing a film, going to a talk at the library, watching a Halloween episode, listening to a podcast etc. This means when I get to Halloween itself I have evidence that I fully immersed myself in this season of magic. 

I hope you are able to find ways to experience magic at this time of year. 

In addition this year all signs point to the importance of taking this month to deeply root myself so that I am all warm and cozy come winter. 

Rooting in Ease. 

Rooting in Gratitude. 

Rooting in Joy. 

Some of this is trying to get ahead on a few projects, some of this is taking inventory, some of this is simply taking the time to pause and reflect as the seasons turn. 

Or as Wentworth Miller recently posted on Instagram:

gentle gentle

slow slow

thoughtful thoughtful

flow flow

8 words aloud every day all day as often as required realigning 

regulating calming + cooling as tides rise temperatures too

Good Changes Can Still Be Draining

Lots of little things are causing me to feel a little drained/low energy. I know I will soon find new patterns and feel more settled which will help my brain and body to not have to expend so much energy processing and therefore should give me more energy.

But I was talking to a friend about how while so far this fall I feel like I have been doing less than in the summer somehow I feel more tired/sluggish/slow moving. I feel like it is helpful to remind ourselves how common this is so that we can be "gentle, gentle*" with ourselves.

We got to talking about possible reasons I have been more tired:

• Changing Patterns and Rhythms
• Right now I find myself between the summer patterns and rhythms I had and the fall patterns and rhythms I will have. So I am in some liminal space where patterns and rhythms are still changing/morphing which brings its own stress for my nuerowild brain.
• Days Getting Shorter
• Yes the days are yet to get shorter for a while yet but I have been noticing how much shorter the days already are when compared to the peak of summer.
• Decluttering 
• I have worked really hard to declutter recently and my room is in a good place, I still have a few boxes of stuff I need to find homes for but I have decluttered enough that my desk and floor has been clear for almost 2 weeks (which is an accomplishment for me) 
• Decluttering and having a place for everything actually does help me keep organized. 
• Decluttering Mindset
• Since I have been working so hard to declutter and put items up on our local Buy Nothing Group, I have found I am less excited about going to events that I would simply go to for the free stuff. I will always go if there is free food, music, massage but if I am only going to get another tote bag, pair of sunglasses, design catalogue ... it seems more like junk. 
• Note with tote bags I still have like 25 so I am not anti-tote bags or anything I just don't need 50-60 of them taking up space in my room LOL
• Silly Physics
• A body in motion stays in motion, a body at rest stays at rest
• In the summer I record what I do in a spreadsheet because I try to do 100 summer activities (this year I did 114.) This gets me to do more because I want to reach 100. I don't keep track of activities the same way the rest of the year.  (And my summer list is sustainable for the summer but would not be sustainable to keep updated all year round)

In the end I think it is clearly All The Above. Lots of little things that have built up and are causing me to feel drained. I know I will soon get new patterns and feel more settled which will help my brain process everything. But I think it is useful to sit and process what I am experiencing because it helps me be "gentle, gentle*" with myself.

*A phrase that Wentworth Miller has been posting recently on Instagram.

"Talk Away the Dark"

 

National Suicide Prevention Week is an annual week-long campaign in the United States to inform and engage health professionals and the general public about suicide prevention and warning signs of suicide. Thos year it runs from Sun, Sep 10, 2023 – Sat, Sep 16, 2023

"Talk Away the Dark" is this year's theme for National Suicide Prevention Week, Day, and Month. This theme emphasizes the idea that being open to talking about this crucial subject can lessen stigma, do away with shame, and function as a source of inspiration and hope for those who are struggling.

Here is a couple of people talking about suicidal ideation, suicide, depression, etc.

Please only watch/listen if you have the bandwidth/spoons to do so.

These are important conversations but please skip if you might be triggered.

A. Patton Oswalt - Tragedy Plus Comedy Equals Time - Supermarket Depression

In this clip from a Patton Oswalt (who plays Matthew in Netflix version of Sandman) comedy special he discusses being suicidal in a supermarket. I learn about this clip after listening to Episode 1 of Depresh Mode with John Moe. Note this is part of a comedy special so there is laughter even though suicide is not a funny topic but sometimes telling a serious story with humor can help it reach more people.

B. Lydia Loveless Keeps Laughing and Writing About Suicidal Ideation

This is a recent Depresh Mode episode where Lydia Loveless an singer/songwriter talks about having what I would call chronic suicidal ideation. This is another conversation where humor is used to talk about heavy topics.

C. Personal Stories And Mental Illness Awareness Week 

This is a post I wrote for this blog in 2020 that covers the personal stories of various people talking about suicidal ideation etc.

D. Unnamed blog post I published in 2020 

This is a 2016 this wonderful interview with Graham Moore covers depression and suicidal ideation (Starting at the 8th min mark and running to the 22nd min mark)

Celebrating "Gentle" Books

I read a lot of books and one category I love is what I call "gentle" books. These are books filled with little to no drama of any type. The type of book that is a joy to read and leaves you feeling refreshed and hopeful. 

The most recent "gentle" book I have read is the really fun Legends and Lattes about an orc starting up a coffee shop in a city that has never seen coffee before. (Thanks Three Avenues Bookshop for the recommendation)

After a lifetime of bounties and bloodshed, Viv is hanging up her sword for the last time.

The battle-weary orc aims to start fresh, opening the first ever coffee shop in the city of Thune. But old and new rivals stand in the way of success — not to mention the fact that no one has the faintest idea what coffee actually is.

If Viv wants to put the blade behind her and make her plans a reality, she won't be able to go it alone.

But the true rewards of the uncharted path are the travelers you meet along the way. And whether drawn together by ancient magic, flaky pastry, or a freshly brewed cup, they may become partners, family, and something deeper than she ever could have dreamed. 

I came up with the term "gentle" books after reading the Monk and Robot books which just are lovely. In many ways these are like having an relaxing philosophical conversation with a friend, over a cup of tea, while walking in the woods.

On a moon called Panga where AI and robots are a distant myth, Dex is an adventurous and friendly tea monk who travels the human-populated areas of their moon meeting villagers and townsfolk. Dex custom-blends tea to fit the people's needs and personalities, and they confide their misgivings to the monk. One day Dex, seeking a change in their routine, travels into the wild and meets a robot named Splendid Speckled Mosscap and they are thrown into a road-trip with a question on their minds: "What do people need?"

I was first introduced to Mushishi via some episodes that were up on Netflix at the time and then I discovered it was based on a series of books which I then read all of. (I am glad I read them when I did because now most of them are no longer in my library system) Both the show and the book are very "gentle" and will have extended moments where you for example see Ginko walking in the woods, watch snow melting, watch plants growing etc. 

The series is an episodic anthology with no overarching plotline in which the only common elements are Ginko and the Mushi. Ginko is a man with one green eye, who not only can see various types of mushi but also attracts them. Because of this ability, he is constantly wandering. He appears to have a generally laid back personality, however, he can be very serious and focused on his work when it comes to protecting people from mushi. He stresses that the mushi are not evil, but merely trying to survive like everyone else. A majority of the stories do not focus on Ginko but rely on him as a catalyst to move the story forward by diagnosing or curing mushi-related illnesses and phenomena.

I really enjoy reading "gentle" books and am always looking for more to read. So what are your favorite "gentle" books? What "gentle" books would you recommend others to read. Leave me a message so I can share other "gentle" books because I think most of us would enjoy reading more "gentle" books.