Personal Stories And Mental Illness Awareness Week

This week is Mental Illness Awareness Week. An important week because so many of us suffer at one time or another in our lives, but all too rarely do we give voice to those experiences. I know there have been times when I have been in dark places mentally, even if no particular label ever quite fit right, but found I did not always have the words to describe what I was feeling. 

When I find myself in those dark places I tend to turn to fanfiction and YouTube clips by people who understand how wonky brains can be. I have found I have felt the most connected to and the most inspired by those who are willing to talk about their mental illness experiences (especially when it comes down to writers, actors, creators, and characters.) Often it can feel like on one hand I know these famous people better than the individuals I see in my day to day life and on the other hand I have enough distance from them that I feel I can really connect to them. I can have intense conversations/adventures in my head with them which means I can process my experience without always having to put it in words or put it into words that others would understand.

So in honor of the power these individuals have had on my life here are some such individuals who have been open about their own struggles and who have powerfully spoken about mental health issues. These are just a few who have stood out to me and this is in no way a diverse or all encompassing list.

(There will be a bunch of links to YouTube which do not normally show up well if you are getting this blog via email, I highly recommend you click through and view this post directly on my blog.)  

Trigger Warning: Mental illness topics, up to and including,  suicidal ideation are included in some of the below celebrity talks/discussions. 

Writer Robbie Thompson (Supernatural/Silk/"Spider-Man/Deadpool"…)

For me I first was introduced to Robbie Thompson as part of DePaul's Pop Culture Conference: A Celebration Of Supernatural. Many of the cast members have been really open with their own mental health struggles but I believe I only learned that at the conference and afterwards since I had only recently joined the fandom solely because it was that years Pop Culture Conference topic.

Also since the conference I have run into Robbie Thompson occasionally (The last several years at  C2E2 where he always remembers me which always surprises me and makes me feel good :) ) so I don't remember exactly what was said at DePaul, what was said later, and what I read online. I do remember at DePaul him speaking about his own struggles with anxiety. In later discussions (at other cons) he also has talked about going to therapy. 

He wrote an amazing run of Silk where Silk (another spider person in the Spiderman universe) is actually seen to be going to therapy which is super rare in comics. Note: emphasis added is mine and Cindy refers to Cindy Moon aka Silk.

Showing Cindy’s reluctance and then showing her actually going to therapy felt integral to making sure that decision felt authentic. It’s a moment that I think a lot of people initially have when it comes to therapy. I mean, when I needed help, I was in denial about it, thinking—therapy, shmerapy. And I’m the son of a therapist! I’m so grateful I went, but it took a while to get me there. So, we wanted to show the reality of that decision, and, while we’re not trying to be preachy, it was important to show therapy as a normal process, that shouldn’t have any shame or stigma associated with it. It’s normal to go to therapy, and it’s normal to resist going. But in the end: if you’re willing to do the work and you have a great therapist, it can help. I’ve benefited enormously from therapy over the years—it’s changed my life. (From the article Silk Goes To Therapy: An Interview With Robbie Thompson C.P Hoffman, Apr 13 2016) 

Writer Graham Moore (The Imitation Game (Film), The Sherlockian, The Last Days of Night…)

The film the The Imitation Game has a special place in my heart because while going through a rough patch it became my "why get up in the morning and face the day". Even before it was released I became invested mainly because I discovered it was about what I was to learn was the brilliant gay scientist Alan Turning, and he was going to be played by Benedict Cumberbatch. I spent a lot of time following it as it was slowly released to theaters. 

And then Graham Moore gave his amazing Oscar speech where he talked about his own struggles with mental health as a Kid. Which is the Oscar speech I have most re-watched/re-listened too (Probably only second to Lin-Manuel's Tony speech for Hamilton that was in honor of Pulse)

Actor Will Wheaton (Star Trek, Big Bang Theory, Gaming, …)

I think I had a vague remembrance that Will Wheaton was from star trek when he came to C2E2 (Chicago Comics and Entertainment Expo) and I ended up catching him during a short interview on the floor of the show, talking about gaming. This was where I learned about his own struggles (I follow him on Facebook and he is very open about his mental health struggles and when he is having good days and when he is having bad days)

Wil Wheaton gave a really interesting talk on Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Depression, and Recovery. I can relate to sometimes making irrational choices about if I should do something/participate in something. The line "I am learning how to human" also tends to hit me somehow.

Writer Mary Robinette Kowal (Glamourist Histories series, Lady Astronaut of Mars series, …)

I know Mary Robinette Kowal and we have met a few times but she knows my dad better then we know each other. 

First I want to highlight a blog post she wrote Sometimes Writers Block is really Depression.

I knew what depression looked like. I had tons of friends who dealt with it and who are open about it. So, I called my doctor to make an appointment. My internalization of the stigma of mental illness was so ingrained, that I made the appointment to have a mole on my back looked at.

In hindsight, I’ve probably dealt with this off and on for my entire life, but last year, I tried to push past it and pretend I was fine. And it became crippling. Now I have tools to handle it. I’m better about self-care, so that I don’t let things become crippling again. I am trying to treat it like having a broken arm and be very matter-of-fact about it. Though, really, it’s more like having dysentery, because it traps you at home and no one wants to hear about it.

Second I remember a very moving story during a panel at C2E2 (And if you are seeing a connection between fandom, conventions, and mental health discussions you are right :) and maybe why I turn to fandom when I am in a dark place) about the importance of these discussions.

Mary Robinette Kowal talked about how one of her characters had a panic attack in one of her stories and how she included some resources at the end of the novel for readers. One older reader contacted her about the experience of the character and was like that is what I have experienced my whole life. The reader did not know what they were experiencing was a panic attack and that there was tools and ways to manage it. The reader had gone their whole lives feeling alone and scared until they read this particular bit of the book. The take away was we all need to keep talking about these issues so others know they are not alone.

Actor Wentworth Miller (Legends of Tomorrow, Prison break, …) 

So very recently me and my roommate have started to watch the show Legends of Tomorrow from the start. While we have watched a lot of superhero works it has been mainly Marvel and neither of us have gotten into the DC TV universe yet so there are clearly things and backstory to Legends of Tomorrow that we have not gotten. To fill in these holes I have done a little research on some of the characters. 

One character who has stood out to me is who I called Blue Thief (vs his partner Red Thief) and now often just call Blue (Real Character name is Captain Cold) which led me to lookup more info on the character, the characters backstory, and the actor. (My roommate may be correct and right now he may be one of my celebrity "squishes" Ok Ok he is one of my current celebrity "squishes" LOL) and this research led me to discover a wide range of amazing and moving and personal speeches Wentworth Miller has made over the years.

HRC Dinner Speech where he goes into the long term impact of growing up in survivor mood and how that creates I/Me thinking not Us/We thinking and makes the idea of community complex. He also briefly mentions an suicide attempt when he was 15.  

Active minds speech where he talks about the mental health challenges he has faced especially in college. While my college experience was easier then many I understand the pressure of programs where you are supposed to be the "best and the brightest" and where others seemed to have their lives all planed out and together. As Wentworth Miller puts it "those who always knew they were going to be a doctor and a lawyer and a chemical engineer on the weekends " I also love his honestly about how hard it is to talk about mental health issues in public forums. In this speech he briefly mentions an suicide attempt when he was a freshmen in college. 

I know I have talked about mental health before and I am sure I will once again on this blog but in the end what I want you to take away from this long post is 

• So many of us suffer in someway or another 
• We all need to find sources of help and encouragement (Fandom, Celebrities, Speeches, Therapy…) when we are in those places 
• Sharing our personal stories with mental illness and other challenging and painful experiences both helps ourselves and helps those who hear us and know that they are not alone, that they are seen, that they belong, and that there are others who know the way out of the hole.

And if you have gotten this far in this blog post you deserve a song. So here is "You Will Be Found" from Dear Evan Hansen.