Shout Out To My Mental Health Family

 

Recently I googled some mental health podcasts to listen to since this is mental health awareness month and ran into Depresh Mode with John Moe. The first episode I listened to was Joel Kim Booster Is In A Pit which was very moving. Note Joel Kim's episode in particular could be triggering for folks so make sure you take care of yourself and take care of those you love.

As the episode's description says:

The writer, comedian, and actor was in a brutal depressive episode when we spoke with him. Couldn’t write, could tell jokes if they were ones he wrote a long time ago. He could probably act, he said, but his creative life was over in his estimation. Hear what depression sounds like.

Joel Kim's episodes as well as others, as I have started to listen to the podcast from the beginning, are not shy to openly talk about the challenges and lived experience of mental health. I have also found them both illuminating and hitting me somehow at the same time. Listening to some of them has cut a bit close to home and some of my own experiences.

The podcast also has highlighted for me that I have been feeling the mental health repercussions of life, the universe, and everything. Over the last few weeks a lot of tasks have become impossible tasks for me. Where I am not able to accomplish as much as I normally would be able to do no problem such as my daily list of tasks.

Some examples:

Choosing food -- having to make food choices as been challenging, I have been leaning into the universe and going and seeing what is discounted at the grocery store and using that to determine what I will be eating. 

Yoga -- I typically do Yoga With Adriene everyday, but the last few weeks this has been really really hard. I just could not do it for like a week and now I am still struggling to do one each day no matter how short or easy they are

Cleaning -- Lets say I have some cleaning I really need to do in my room but it is not happening. Or like yesterday I did some laundry including sheets but as of now I have not gotten the clean sheets back on my bed lol. Last night I threw a comforter on my bed to sleep on instead. 

Now I have been able to do enough that I can keep going and so on paper it looks like I am doing totally fine. I am managing but listening to the podcast has been reminding me that I am not thriving right now and that might be something I want to work on at some point. It is important to be honest with ourselves and know when we are not living our best lives. 

So if your brain is wibbly wobbly know that you are not alone. I have heard from several acquaintances and friends who are struggling right now for a whole host of reasons. There is so much junk happening at a societal level the fact that everyone is not feeling down is more surprising than that so many of us are struggling.   

I have been journaling a lot (Journaling to Wentworth Miller since I feel like he would understand) about what is going on inside my head. I have been reading a lot of fanfiction where characters are processing their own junk. And I have been trying to be gentle on myself. I only accomplished one task instead of the 3 I intended? That is ok. Doing the minimum is ok. 

So yes this is a shout out to my mental health family. We are not alone in our struggles. So many have walked these paths before us and so many will walk them after us. And sometimes that is truly what makes all the difference when we feel like we have gotten a bit lost in the woods, night is falling, and we think we might have just heard a bear growling.