Identities, Boxes, Squiggles

 

Recently I have been in one of my periodic reflections on identity and the meaning of my life. Thinking about the boxes I fit, and the squiggles too, and how I often feel like I am stuck in the awkward spot of being la crème but NOT crème de la crème. 

I have been thinking about who I am, and what social masks I wear for others, what boxes I can tick under various labels, what labels might fit, and what having those labels would mean, and what difference would labels makes? 

And trying to determine which labels fit comfortably and which am I trying to fit into because my current celebrity squish uses them, or I recognized myself in fanfiction about the label. When it is just me being me, and having a me brain and a me life, and when it might be something more.

Which labels I can claim, and which would be disrespectful to others with those labels. Which label spaces I belong and which I do not belong in. And I have been periodically reflecting on all of this for years at this point. 

For example here is a poem I wrote in 2015 (Focused on LGBTQ+ identities but I meant inclusive of all identities, I was just focused on my Ace identity in 2015)

Boxes

We want people to fit in easy to understand Boxes

Gay or Lesbian or Bi or Trans or Ace

But there are no boxes only circles

So like electrons in the electron clouds

We can know approximations, percentages, averages

Heisenberg was right

We can’t know both position and speed

Both the past and the future

And every moment in-between

No one fits perfectly in any box

So if you find yourself in one

Know it cannot contain all of you

That is a truth

That is the answer

That is ok

So I have been in a period of reflection, and we will see what grand adventures I go on before finding the shortest way home to myself. If you are in a period of reflection too just know that you are not alone. We are all trying to figure out this label thing together. <<<Hugs>>>