Encanto: Speaking About Things We Don't Talk About

I watched the delightful Encanto with my roommate this weekend (shout out to friends of friends willing to share logins) and it gave me a lot of food for thought. 

Note: I am white so my interpretation is my own interpretation and processing, and probably misses a lot of the nuance of the story. When in doubt about interpretation listen to someone who shares a closer cultural identity to the film. 

I read a fascinating essay that looks at the character of  "Bruno" through a mental health lens and what he represents in many family dynamics. The person or fact that no one talks about within a family. This idea of what we don't talk about is woven throughout the story and we keep hearing about the impact of not talking.

I would say we all have "Bruno(s)" we don't talk about:

• Mental Health Struggles We Don't Talk About Bruno
• Not feeling like we really belong  Waiting On A Miracle
• Feeling that we have to hold everything together Surface Pressure
• A need to be seen as being perfect What Else Can I Do?
• How we are really doing/processing/mourning/feelings/when we need support/help
• Anytime we feel lost, broken or less than an absolutely amazing human being.

And this all ties into a episode of Queer Eye I watched recently that explored the difference between existing and actually living fully which connected to what I am learning as I lean into my New Year's resolution that "It does not have to be prefect."

As I have been processing here at the start of 2022 I have realized that I used busyness as an avoidance tactic. Oh I will read 90+ books and listen to uncountable podcasts and be "A doctor, and a lawyer, and a chemical engineer on the weekends" and and and ... more so I could say that I had done so than because it is really bringing me joy or that the activities are really "Hell Yes" activities. 

For example my flavor of mental health struggle is what I might call "Chronic Languishing" with occasional swirls of darker depression symptoms (but the exact term is not what is important nor exactly how many boxes I can check off and if I can check off enough at any given time to be considered struggling with mental health)

The key is I often find that I am not flourishing, where I feel like I am a record stuck in a groove, or in the words of another Disney film not knowing when my life will begin. Or as I put when someone else asked in a different context:

I have created a little den and I have been hibernating in the liminal space and it is a pretty cozy den but there is a drip coming from somewhere and it is pretty drafty, and I have misplaced the door, and am a bit hazy on how to get out or why going out into the wilds of outer space is a good idea. Why being "here, here" is important and how to live and thrive and not just exist.

But this often is a "Bruno" that I don't talk about because people tend to overreact and worry about my safety or look at me in confusion and go but you look happy. Neither which is particularly helpful when I am languishing.

I know that A Cover Is Not the Book and we are all struggling with our own stuff and I try to turn to those who can help me Trip a Little Light Fantastic characters, actors, writers, historical figures, friends who understand because they carry their own "Brunos" and have have talked about those "Brunos". 

Like the ending song in Encanto we often learn what we need to do is talk about our "Brunos" with others so we can lay a new foundation and find new ways to be community with and without the gifts we hope for. Talking about our "Brunos" is important for us all.