Happy Ace Week: What Is Ace Week?

Happy Ace Week Everyone. Now I have to admit I forgot that this week was one of my weeks until my LGBTQA+ church posted about it. Thank you for the reminder. There is something powerful about a week where people from around the world are celebrating who I am. In addition Ace Week is important because so many people still do not understand what being Ace is all about. This week I will do a series of posts around Ace Week. 

So what is Ace Week? Here is a great summary via aceweek.org

Ace Week (founded as Asexual Awareness Week in 2010) is an annual event that puts asexuality in the spotlight. Part celebration of the progress we’ve made as a community, and part campaign for greater understanding and acceptance of asexual-spectrum identities, Ace Week is a time to focus on all things ace*.

The ace community has made significant headway over the years. Asexual representation in mainstream media continues to improve, major LGBTQ+ organizations now acknowledge and include us, and ace community groups have sprouted up and flourished in cities around the world. Ace Week gives us an opportunity to recognize these achievements and the efforts that made them possible.

Though we have much to celebrate, the fight for visibility and acceptance is still ongoing. Ace identities are often overlooked or misunderstood, and many aces still grow up not realizing that asexuality is an option. Since the issues aces face are directly influenced by their other marginalized identities, many in our community—especially aces of color, disabled aces, and aces with other LGBTQ+ identities—can face significant barriers to equality and acceptance.

In light of this, aces all over the world participate in Ace Week by creating educational resources, sharing information on social media, and organizing community events. These global initiatives serve to raise awareness, spread information, and spark discussion about ace identities. More and more people discover ace communities each year, and with them, find acceptance, comfort, and joy.

*The word ace refers to identities that fit within the asexual spectrum, and to the individuals who hold those identities.

"Gentle, Gentle" Days Are Key

 

My roommate has been gone this week so my goal was to do a combo of "staycation" activities (so I felt like I was on vacation too LOL) and "spread out" activities since I had the apartment to myself (for example working on writing my holiday etc. cards since I could spread out my cards on pretty much every surface in the apartment and not be in my roommate's way LOL)

I have been going pretty non-stop this week, and yesterday hit a wall and realized that while I still had lots I had wanted to get done this week, that I had accomplished a ton, and needed to take a "gentle, gentle" day before jumping into a busy weekend.

As Wentworth Miller put it in some of his Instagram posts this summer:

gentle, gentle

slow, slow

thoughtful, thoughtful

flow, flow

I find following this advice/wisdom/rhyme has been really helpful and reminds me to take time for "gentle, gentle" days. (Similar to how following Captain Cold's four rules "make the plan, execute the plan, expect the plan to go off the rails, throw away the plan" is helpful because it turns changes to plans into the plan itself.)

This feels like a good time to practice having multiple things be true at the same time which is a concept being highlighted in some of the communities I am involved with.   

I am not likely to accomplish all I set out to do this week AND I accomplished a lot of things (many I was not originally planning on.) 

I have several things "due" this weekend (Finishing a book for book club on Sunday, getting the main part of the apartment nice and tidy for when my roommate returns) AND I need to be "gentle, gentle" with myself

I know having a clean and organized space can reduce stress AND cleaning and organizing can cause stress so I know by the end of the weekend my space will not be as cleaned and organized as I hoped it would be 

So today I am taking a "gentle, gentle" day. I am going to rest and renew myself. I am going to work on reading and cleaning etc. but in micro chunks (read one chapter, put away 10 items etc.) If you are in the middle of a busy season (or will be in the middle of a busy season which is pretty much everyone come the end of the year lol) make sure you take regular "gentle, gentle" days.

Language Is Complex

 

This week there has been an interesting conversation going on one of the Instagram accounts I follow. The particular conversation is not important but it is a conversation about words, identities, and the difference between what words mean and how they are commonly used. 

For the purposes of this post I will expand on the tomato metaphor though of course on Instagram it was not about tomatoes.

Someone posted a quote "Fruit and Tomatoes" from some unknown source and said you mean "Fruit and Fruit" Fruit includes tomatoes and always has. 

There are a wide range of responses from statements that go "Tomatoes are not fruit" to people going but what about "sundried tomatoes" or "tomato sauce" or "are you saying that other things like olives, eggplant, pumpkin etc. are also fruit? to statements that go "when I am holding a tomato it feels like it is different from when I am holding a fruit" 

There are also responses that go "When listing what ingredients I need for a recipe saying I need fruit when I need a tomato will not get me what I need for the recipe." 

And others have mentioned "well in my context the only way to get tomatoes is to go to a vegetable store, because we don't have any fruit stores, and the rare fruit stores we do have do not have tomatoes" 

All which highlights the complexity of language. 

Sometimes being part of a large group is vital, if we are fighting for fruit rights, tomatoes should be included both in those who are fighting as well in the demands that the fruit group is fighting for.  

Sometimes being really specific is vital, "I need a jar of imported from Sicily sundried tomatoes in olive oil, rosemary, and garlic for this recipe"

Finally sometimes the best we can do is use a term that is false but explains our needs the best. "I am making a veggie tray and need assorted vegetables including tomatoes" or "Tonight for dinner I both need several types of fruit And tomatoes"

So all in all this week has been a week where I keep thinking about language, the language we use to describe ourselves, the language others use to describe us, how both types of language are always in flux, and how often language is used in such a general manner that it even gets more confusing. All the different interpretations of the metaphoric statement "Fruit and Tomatoes" has been giving me a lot to think about. 

Coming Out/Coming In Day

"Tired Of The Silence" – I Am Harvey Milk (Original Live Cast Recording)

 Coming Out/Coming In

By Dreaming Ace

We live in a world where once again

Our truths are being criminalized

Who we are is being criminalized

Loving ourselves

Loving others

Love

Is being criminalized

Because people are afraid 

Of our boldness 

Of our belovedness

Of our self-knowledge

Because people are afraid

Of living

Of love

Of joy

Because people are afraid

Saying the word Gay makes people Gay?

Providing gender affirming care 

Is anything other than the totally right thing to do?

Today is a day where we speak that we should come out

But for all too many of my siblings that is unsafe

Coming out means being willing to be a flag bearer

As the air is filled with harm

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

It does not matter

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

No matter what anyone else says

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

So whether you come out this day

So whether you come in to yourself this day

No matter it can feel like our existence is being criminalized

You are loved

You are beloved

You are wonderfully made

Happy coming out/coming in day

World Mental Health Day 2023

Today is World Mental Health Day. 

The theme for World Mental Health Day 2023 is 'Mental health is a universal human right.' This subject emphasizes the necessity of assuring that everyone, regardless of age, socioeconomic class, or background should have access to high-quality mental health care and support.

World Mental Health Day

By Dreaming Ace

Minds are odd little things

For every time our brains only see the good

There is a time that they only see the bad

Minds are odd little things

For every time they know we are never alone

There is a time they only know isolation

Minds are odd little things

For every time they see clearly

There is a time that they lie to us

And we all experience both/ands

We all hold multiples truths at the same time

Where life means everything And Where life means nothing at all

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,

It was the season of light, it was the season of darkness,

It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair”*

Mental health includes wisdom of others**

"gentle, gentle

slow, slow

thoughtful, thoughtful

flow, flow"

Mental health includes listening to our selves

What do our minds need?

What do our bodies need?

What do our souls need?

Mental health includes connecting to help

Therapy

Medication

Treatments

An understanding ear

Community

Connection

Belonging

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter if we walk with

Depression, Anxiety, Suicidal Ideation, Self Harm

PTSD, Schizophrenia, Eating Disorders, Addictive Behaviors 

Bipolar Disorder, Panic Attacks, Burnout

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter where we might find ourselves walking

As Asylum Seekers and Refugees

In War Torn Lands and Economical Disinvested Communities

As Undocumented or as those Kidnaped by Governments

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

No matter what we might see on the walk

racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism

No matter what we might not see on the walk

Anyone who we thinks understands

'Mental health is a universal human right.'

We all deserve to understand our minds

We all deserve to feel connected, in community

We all deserve to be seen, be heard, be listened to

We all deserve to tell our stories

We all deserve access to support

*A tale of two cities

**Wentworth Miller

Let Freedom Read ...

 

(Picture of part of a display at my local library branch)

October 1-7 is banned books week this year. Banned Books Week is an annual event that highlights the value of free and open access to information. I am lucky, my library system, the Chicago Public Library declared itself a sanctuary for endangered stories, and established Book Sanctuaries across 77 distinct neighborhoods and 81 library branches last year. Each Book Sanctuary provides opportunities to expand local access to banned or challenged books.

This includes displays highlighting commonly banned books all year not just for banned books week. This also includes a wide range of events. Last year's One Book One Chicago was Maus by author Art Spiegelman when that work of literature was being widely and publicly banned in many places. This week there is a traveling performance group presenting Books On The Chopping Block

The City Lit Theater Company presents a theatrical display of iconic banned and challenged books in celebration of Banned Books Week 2023. Learn about some of the most popular banned/challenged books of 2022 and decide for yourself - should these books be banned from having anyone read them? What would it be like to have a book banned in your school or public library?

All to often books are banned for LGBTQ+ content because they are deemed "explicit" but the fact that characters sometimes think about sex, hooking up, kissing someone or use words such as Gay, Trans, Gender Fluid etc. does not mean something is "explicit." The same is true for stories that reference the fact that most humans have genitalia of some kind.

I am Ace, sex was rarely on my radar BUT I was never traumatized by stories that mentioned sex or characters interested in sex. Youth who are already thinking about sex are even less likely to be traumatized because the occasional awkwardness or awkward giggling generally does not traumatize kids. And kids are NOT traumatized reading how different people fall in love with people of different genders. 

Banned Books Week is the same week as Mental Illness Awareness Week and during LGBT History Month and while each is its own thing it is fitting that all of these overlap since in many ways they are interconnected. 

When books are banned or students are prevented from reading those books it is often because they contain LGBTQ+ content (see the list of top 10 challenged books from 2022 below) and when youth are taught that being LGBTQ+ is somehow wrong (because that content is banned) they often internalize the message that they themselves are somehow wrong instead of beloved and wonderfully created, and this internalized homophobia, transphobia, etc. often leads to mental health challenges.

Here is a link to a number of actions you can take in order to fight for the freedom to read.

Let Freedom Read

By Dreaming Ace

Honoring this banned book week

Is even more important than typical

When record numbers of books

Are being banned

Banned because they dare

Dare show the wonderful and multifaceted

Face of humanity, Face of people

Dare to show reality

Banned because they dare

Dare show that bad things happen

That people get hurt, get wounded

That trauma is truth sometimes

Banned because they dare

Treat all people, Treat all kids

As if they are human beings

With wants and needs and thoughts and dreams

So many contested

 Because of LGBTQ+ content

Books celebrating all our LGBTQ+ siblings

From today or yesterday or centuries ago or tomorrow

Kids can handle challenging idea

Kids can handle things they don't know

Kids can handle knowing everyone is different

Kids can handle stories including LGBTQ+ content

And

Kids Are Gay, Are Lesbian, Are Bi, Are Pan

Kids Are Trans, Are Gender Nonconforming, Are Gender Fluid

Kids Are Ace, Are Aro

Kids Are Queer, Are Questioning

Allowing kids to see themselves

Themselves in the stories they read

Or see their friends and family in those stories

Is important, Is vital, Is necessary

Otherwise all too often kids will

Internalize that they are different

Wonder if they are broken

Wonder if they are wrong

Otherwise all too often kids will

Feel like they are all alone

With whatever is inside their heads

Wonder if they should exist at all

This week is banned books week

But also Mental Illness Awareness Week

The data proves why showing kids they are not alone 

Can be a matter of life or death

45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year*

Nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide*

LGBTQ youth who live in a community that is accepting of LGBTQ people 

Reported significantly lower rates of attempting suicide than those who do not*

This years banned book theme is "Let Freedom Read"

This week read a contested or banned book

This week write a letter or email or op-ed

About why banning books is so harmful, hateful, traumatizing for kids

Let Freedom Read

Let Freedom Read

Let Freedom Read

*https://www.thetrevorproject.org/survey-2022/

https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/by-the-numbers

(https://www.ala.org/advocacy/bbooks/frequentlychallengedbooks/top10)

Welcome October Wisdom

 

We have entered the month of October:

October Poem By Dreaming Ace

Cool breezes of fall will arrive

October’s wise wisdom is soon upon us

A month clearly focused on magic

Yoga calendar states the theme of Ease

At church a month focused on Gratitude

Planner states “Seek Joy in the little things”

A month honoring reading banned books

Magic, Ease, Gratitude, “Seek Joy”, Read

October’s wise wisdom is upon us

For me October is often a full month. I try to do something loosely Halloween based everyday. This can look like reading a book, seeing a film, going to a talk at the library, watching a Halloween episode, listening to a podcast etc. This means when I get to Halloween itself I have evidence that I fully immersed myself in this season of magic. 

I hope you are able to find ways to experience magic at this time of year. 

In addition this year all signs point to the importance of taking this month to deeply root myself so that I am all warm and cozy come winter. 

Rooting in Ease. 

Rooting in Gratitude. 

Rooting in Joy. 

Some of this is trying to get ahead on a few projects, some of this is taking inventory, some of this is simply taking the time to pause and reflect as the seasons turn. 

Or as Wentworth Miller recently posted on Instagram:

gentle gentle

slow slow

thoughtful thoughtful

flow flow

8 words aloud every day all day as often as required realigning 

regulating calming + cooling as tides rise temperatures too