How we all serve injustice ...

“An individual has not started living until he can rise above the narrow confines of his individualistic concerns to the broader concerns of all humanity.”

Today is the day we set aside to honor MLK Jr. Often this honor is expressed through quotes and memes or an hour or two of service. Today I suggest in addition we honor him by seeing that each and every one of us serves injustice in some way. (Yes you and Yes I and Yes us)

“Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions. Nothing pains some people more than having to think.”

We support and maintain systems of oppression. We say "well that is just the way that things are." We say "well we earned it." We say "yes there are problems but "we" are not apart of the problem." In truth, we all knowingly or unknowingly support these systems.

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right.”

We fail to ask the right questions. Why are our communities and workplaces not diverse? What rules and regulations make this so? Where must we go to find those who have different life experiences?  Why do those of different races or faiths or backgrounds not feel welcome or safe in our spaces?

“We must build dikes of courage to hold back the flood of fear.”

To fight the daily injustice that we all support will take radical thinking. What systems and institutions need to be pulled down so something better can grow? How can we hold ourselves accountable for our actions? What priveledges and opportunities do we have to deal with these systems and stand and walk and fight in solidarity with the least and the marginalized?

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

So today take a moment to more clearly see this society and world we live in and the challenges we face over and over and over again. This will be hard work. It won't be done with quotes or an hour or two here or there. There will be moments when the fight will seem too hard, not worth the effort, but we must remember:

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: Lessons for us all

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle decided for various reasons to step back from their family's business as Royals. In no way am I an expert in "Royals" (and Yes Harry and Meghan will always have many privileges in terms of socio-economic factors that you may not have) but watching this unfold I see reminders we all should hear at the beginning of a new year and a new decade when so many of us have new dreams about what the next chapters in our lives might look like.

1. You can always stop, change, or pivot. Often we feel like there is nothing we can do about a situation, that we are stuck but that is not true. It may not be easy but it can be done.

2. Not all jobs are good fits for everyone. Your job on paper might be great but it still may be a poor fit for you. Sometimes you have to give up the shoulds in order to be your best.

3. Finding our own paths will challenge expectations. Your family may not understand, society may not understand, but in the end following your own path is important.

4. We don't know what others are going through unless we ask. Too often we find the choices that we or others take to be confusing or "out of the blue" but this is because we spend too little time talking to each other and really listening. 

5. "Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about." Everyone no matter if they are famous or not, no matter if they have money or not, no matter if everyone knows there battle or not.

6. A meaningful life is a life filled with:

If you don't feel these things in your life then no matter how challenging, no matter your inner fears, no matter what anyone else says you need to stop, change, or pivot. Everyone deserves a meaningful and passion led life, everyone from Harry and Meghan to you to the stranger you don't know. Be Big, Bold, and Amazingly You 

Happy New Year, Happy 2020

As 2020 arrives we find ourselves in a time of new beginnings, a time to start again (and again, and again ...) a time to remind ourselves and others that we all belong here and we all are trying our best.  

While I have made some resolutions for this year (mainly tweaking my successful resolutions form last year) I also have once again selected a phrase for the year.

2019 my word for the year was magic, and for 2020 my phrase is "Live Lighter, Dive Deeper" 

I hope to live less encumbered, I have been doing some cleaning, donating, and unsubscribing to things. I am hoping to have more time and energy to put towards meaningful projects. 

I also hope to dive deeper into my relationships so I can lessen the "Crisis of Belonging" too many feel in the current day and age. 

Whatever you choose to do or not do for the new year and the new decade I am standing right by your side cheering you on. Always remember You are wonderful. You are loved. You belong. 

I am leaving you with Happy New Year Message I wrote. Happy New Year. May it be a great one for you.

Happy New Year 

Another year ends 

Another decade begins 

Another turning of time 

No matter what tomorrow brings 

No matter what the year to come brings 

No matter what the decade to come brings 

Burn the candles, Drink the tea, Read the books 

Make “Someday” today. Remember to just breathe 

In and Out and In and Out 

In and Out Again 

And Make Good Art (1) 

You are wonderful. 

You are loved. 

You belong. 

*quietly confident in the manifold gifts you possess, 

Both known and unknown to you* 

Right behind you. You got this. (2) 

You are wonderful. 

You are loved. 

You belong. 

May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and (know) someone thinks you're wonderful, and don't forget to make some art -- write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. 

And I hope, somewhere in the next year, You surprise yourself. (3) 

You are wonderful. 

You are loved. 

You belong. 

I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you'll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you'll make something that didn't exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. (4) 

You are wonderful. 

You are loved. 

You belong. 

Make glorious, amazing mistakes. Make mistakes nobody's ever made before. Don't freeze, don't stop, don't worry that it isn't good enough, or it isn't perfect, whatever it is: art, or love, or work or family or life. Whatever it is you're scared of doing, do it. (5) 

You are wonderful. 

You are loved. 

You belong. 

Happy Happy New Year 

1 Neil Gaiman Wisdom, 2 Lin-Manuel Tweet, 3 Neil Gaiman Former New Year’s Wish, 

4 Neil Gaiman Former New Year’s Wish, 5 Neil Gaiman Former New Year’s Wish

Solstice

Today is the Solstice

The Longest Night

The Shortest Day

A moment to sit in our own pain

And the pain of those around us

This is not easy or fun

But important work

Important work

At some moment in time

We all feel pain

We all face sorrow

We all have our hearts broken

This may be the season for you

This may not be the season for you

But either way

You are Loved and You Belong

Some mark this time with candles

For others silence and reflection

Some don't mark this day at all

But no matter what

Be gentle this day

Gentle with others

Gentle with yourself

I hope you all are having a good Solstice and a good official start to winter. If this is a time of celebration celebrate if this is a time of another emotion know you are not alone. 

As I was reminded at a Longest Night service earlier this week where the individual readers we struggling to light the candles and each became a group project, sometimes you are not light your own candles, sometimes you need others to help you. Know that needing help is a sign of strength. 

No matter how today find you know you are strong and wonderful and loved and belong

Holiday Pause

Breath in ... 1, 2, 3, 4

Breath out ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

December is already halfway through, and I will bet you have a lot of things on your to-do list right now. Maybe your list is filled with Holiday activities or maybe family and friends, or maybe self-reflection and planning for a new year. But no matter what is on your list I am guessing you are either running around right now or experiencing FOMO (Fear of missing out), either struggling to fit everything in or struggling to fit anything in.

So I suggest you Pause, right here in the middle, right now, just Pause. 

Go for a walk

Have a cup of tea

Take a nice shower/bath

Use nice lotion

Stretch

Do some yoga

Have a glass of water

Or if those seem like ideas that take too much energy, simply breath in and out slowly. Yes, it is December, but you must take time to Pause, to simply breath.

Breath in ... 1, 2, 3, 4

Breath out ... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Repeat

Repeat

Repeat

25 DIY Holiday Countdowns

This is the season where you can buy Holiday countdown calendars for every taste from chocolate and tea, to wine and beer, to socks and fandom based ones. But while these come in nice packaging I find most are outside my budget so here are some non-traditional ones you can do on your own.

General Tips

• There are many ways you can use this list from choosing one task to do the whole time, to picking one wider category to do each week, to doing a different task each day. 

• It is often more fun if you create fun "packaging", this could be having a worksheet you can cross off or put a sticker on each day, or wrapping in newspaper and decorating items so you have something to open each day.

• Some of the below tasks have examples, use these or choose your own. 

Physical Wellness

Take a multi-vitamin each day

Drink 8 glasses of water each day: Water Challenge

Exercise for 5 mins: Jumping Jacks , 2 min Abs , Wall Sit  ...

Eat well: Fiber Challenge , Home Cooked Meals, Make a different breakfast/lunch/dinner each day

Self-massage: Yoga for Self Care

Mental Wellness

Gratitude journal: Daily Gratitude Challenge

Meditation: Meditation For Inner Peace , 1 Min Meditation Challenge

Yoga: 1 Min Yoga , Yoga With Adriene Calendar

Get enough sleep: Go to bed on time

Go outside every day

Creativity

Read one poem/short story/article each day

Write/Draw/Build/Create/Paint/Compose one piece each day

Sing one song each day (Shower and non-shower singing counts)

Listen to a different music station each day

Learn about a topic you want to know more about. (Futurelearn , Edx , Coursera ...)

Organizing:

Donate 1 item each day

Toss 1 item each day

Delete 10 extra emails a day

Do an inventory of your house to see what can be shared with others

Do an inventory of your time, how can you do one small thing towards a larger goal you have

Kindness

Donate to a different charity each day (Can be small amounts $1, $3, $5 ...)

Share the good works that a charity you care about does on social media, one charity a day or one fact about a charity each day

Post 1 inspiring quote each day on your social media

Write a personal letter to someone each day

Leave something in a tip jar every day

Reaching Out ...

"If you are in pain, or know someone who is; if you feel there is no one who can relate to what you're going through; if you have been frightened into immobility by secrets you believe you have to maintain to protect yourself, your family, or your career, understand that you are only as alone as you choose to be. One phone call, one email, one text to the right person or agency can make the very literal difference between life and death. You just have to decide to do it" 

Becoming Superman by J.Michael Straczynski p439-440 

This is from a powerful autobiography which I don't know how to easily summarize other to say when the cover says "My Journey From Poverty to Hollywood With stops along the way at Murder, Madness, Mayhem, Movie Stars, Cults, Slums, Sociopaths, and War Crimes" it is not exaggerating and is not talking about say what he wrote about but what actually occurred to him and around him.

The quote is at the end of a chapter looking at the challenges that some former cast members of one of his shows had with Drugs, Alcoholism, and Mental Health and connecting it to the physical and emotional abuse he and his mother and sister faced and speaking to the importance of Reaching out in all these cases.

This seems especially timely as this is a season many of my friends are struggling with mental health and actors in shows I am currently watching are publically struggling too. This is a season within a larger time period which has been hard for so many of us.

Also, I know that reaching out sounds great on paper but it can be extremely hard to do when it is needed. So I am not going to end this post simply telling others to reach out but meeting you all halfway.

One of the greatest challenges in my life at this moment is I have lost my purpose, my compass. Busyness has overtaken meaningfulness and I am currently a bit lost. A number of factors play a role (Mental Health, being in-between Jobs, former Jobs that drained my soul ....) but in the end, I have somewhat forgotten how to dream big, bold, impossible things vocationally.

So my Reach Out:

I am soliciting vocational dreamers:

What impossible/improbable things do you see me setting my eye on? What wild things do you think I should reach for? Really anything to shock me out of my blahs, because right now all vocational goals seem blah. I think I need a "send a person to the moon" type of challenge. 

*** You can't go too big or wild assuming your suggestion is actually physically possible (yea time travel is out) and something I might actually enjoy (I have zero interest in say climbing Mount Everest, or being a playboy bunny or a supermodel etc  use your judgment :) :) :))

I need help breaking out of my vocational immobility (I think some of my struggle to actually work on Job searching is because it is a lot of effort for something I feel Blah about, If I have an exciting "send a person to the moon" to aim for the searching will feel less like pointless effort, because it will have a purpose)

***Note: I am seeking vocational dreamers not resume/interview/networking/ to-do lists/should-do lists.

This is NOT life or death at all but I recognize I am stuck so I am reaching out. I hope this also helps others reach out with their own challenges small or great. If we all get in the habit of reaching out we will be more able to when it is life or death. Thanks for your help in keeping me from "Going Through The Motions".