Note the challenge also includes some picture books which I will include in my weekly roundups but am NOT counting towards the books I have read for this year because I feel like that would artificially inflate my totals lol.
The Baker and the Bard by Fern Haught (Fiction)
My Review:
This was a sweet little "gentle, gentle" story which I really appreciated.
Icarus by K. Ancrum (Fiction)
My Review:
This was a really compelling queer retelling of the Icarus story. A story about discovering who you are by learning who others are in relation to you. A story about the long shadows the past can create over the future and how challenging it can be to move into the sunlight.
Black Girl, Call Home by Jasmine Mans (poetry)
My Review:
This was the second time I read this collection and I enjoyed it just as much as I did the first time. And it works for Lo's "A woman with her back turned on the cover" category for the summer reading challenge.
This post will contain spoilers for the Doctor Who Episode Rogue
This post is inspired by a conversation I had with someone in the comments section of a post about what I consider the wonderful Doctor Who episode "Rouge" and Spoilers, the lovely kiss between The Doctor (Ncuti Gatwas) and Rogue (Jonathan Groff), as shown in the clip below.
Let's say there were lots of feelings people had around the kiss, some positive and some negative. I for one found it a super sweet kiss, and that while being aroace so in general, not someone overly into kisses or kissing (or at least mouth kissing).
I was able to see that The Doctor and Rogue liked each other (both characters clearly consented to the kiss), and the episode felt organic to me, especially since it was very much a Bridgerton-inspired episode. I have not watched Bridgerton, but I know it is a show all about romance and various forms of attraction LOL.
There will never be a show or story that everyone enjoys. But when commenting, it is important to use precise language. The more precise language used, the less likely you are to be misinterpreted.
For example, I have mentioned to some of my friends who also watch Doctor Who that while I love Nucti, I feel like this season the Doctor has not been spotlighted as much (in part because Ncuti was involved in other projects at the same time he was filming Doctor Who), and I would like to see more Nucti Doctor content.
Some people who commented about the episode clearly did not like the romance or the kiss, but the language used is often very vague: "the show is too political," "the show is woke," "there is a social agenda," etc., and they are upset when that vague language is interpreted as being racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc.
Here is a poem I wrote:
Thoughts about people in the comment section
By Dreaming Ace
I’m aroace, I don’t really get the concept of kissing on the lips
Yet I know kissing is something that people do in life, in real life
So I’m so confused when you “comment section people” say that
A kiss between two wonderful characters is pushing an agenda
Do people really not kiss in the world you live in? In your universe?
Is there no Love? No sharing of emotions? No connections?
Even I know that “emotional recognition” and “deep-seated tenderness”
Sometimes develops into romance and dancing and awe and wonder
Sometimes even develops into what you would call Love all within a single night
While I will always love queer platonic storylines, and we need many more of those
I also enjoy other storylines, platonic friends storylines, romantic storylines
Even the occasional wibbly wobbly timey wimey situationship storyline
In my world, in my universe, in my timeline or whatever you call it
We know that people Love each other, we know different people love
Different people, we know that Love can look like so many things
More combinations then their are stars in the sky, or sand on the beach
We know that gender or romantic attraction or even sexual attraction
Can be very fluid, ace and aro, trans and nonbinary, pan and poly
Even I know that “emotional recognition” and “deep-seated tenderness”
Sometimes develops into romance and dancing and awe and wonder
Sometimes even develops into what you would call Love all within a single night
While I will always love queer platonic storylines, and we need many more
I also enjoy other storylines, platonic friends storylines, romantic storylines
Even the occasional wibbly wobbly timey wimey situationship storyline
I’m aroace, I don’t really get the concept of kissing on the lips
Yet I know kissing is something that people do in life, in real life
So I’m so confused when you “comment section people” say that
A kiss between two wonderful characters is pushing an agenda
Do people really not kiss in the world you live in? In your universe?
Is there no Love? No sharing of emotions? No connections?
***********
Here is the comments conversation that inspired this post.
Note:
My responses to the commentor were assuming the person
Did not intend harm with their original comment,
I addition I was coming from a place of safety.
This does not mean anyone else should feel compelled
To respond to people in the comments section.
C = Comment section person, M = Me
C: People aren't angry because they're homophobic or transphobic or bigots, they're angry because the show is focusing too much on politics and pushing a social agenda rather than focusing on telling a good story. Most people watch shows like Doctor Who for escapism, not for a political lesson, but it's hard to complain about that without people misinterpreting it as bigotry.
M: I'm curious what social agenda you mean? The fact that in real life people sometimes kiss other people? The fact people find other people "hot"? Or the fact that people like to dance? I mean I'm aroace so don't kiss people, don't find people "hot" and I don't happen to like dancing with others because I want the freedom to dance however I want on the dance floor :) but I found this episode to be wonderful and sweet. I personally didn't see any "political lesson" so I am asking which one you found in this week's episode? Have a nice day.
C: There's the comment about a "hot summer with Houdini" there's the binary/non-binary thing in The Star Beast, there's the unnecessary and historically inaccurate race swap of Isaac Newton, there's the pronoun conversation in the Star Beast and there's another pronoun conversation in The Devil's Chord, there's Maestro's comment about Ruby playing songs for "heartbroken lesbians" etc etc. Granted, this is over the course of several episodes but even so, it's clear that politics play a significantly larger role in the show than it ever had before. But this goes back to what I was saying, people should be allowed to not like the political aspect of the show, people should be allowed to not like the show anymore due to the direction it's being taken but it seems many people, rather ironically, would much rather get offended than accept that.
M: I'm sorry but I'm confused how are any of what you listed is social commentary though? Maybe I'm from a different culture because none of that is different from my day to day normal. I mean for the last several years every name tag I have ever seen or had to fill out at church, at social events, at community events etc. had us list our pronouns. (Personally my pronouns are She/Any) Are talking about pronouns uncommon in the communities you spend time in? I really am curious since we seem to have very different world views.
C: Well... yeah, day-to-day life is different for everyone, and honestly, pronouns aren't common in the communities I engage with/in, my home life, work life or social life. This is also the case for many many other people and so to have it come up in the show does feel (to some but not others) as though it's preaching an aspect of gender politics rather than telling a good story
M: Interesting. Thanks for the clarification. Personally I feel it has only added to the story telling and not taken away but I guess others might disagree. Clearly there are as many ideas of what is good storytelling / what is a good story as there are stars in the sky. I think the challenge is when people don't just say this story didn't work for me but use generic and undefined language such as "it too political" or "it's woke" others tend to read into the "too political" as being based in isms and phobias because in general when people are say critiquing a stories structure or pacing or like for me feeling this season has been light on The Doctor focused stories and I want more Ncuti content they don't typically use the language "it's political." For example a comment saying that the focus on The Doctor's "humanness" or his emotions is not working for someone feels a lot different than an "it's too political now" comment even if second person intends the same thing as the first.
Note the challenge also includes some picture books which I will include in my weekly roundups but am NOT counting towards the books I have read for this year because I feel like that would artificially inflate my totals lol.
Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao (Fiction)
My review:
I really really enjoyed this book even if there was a good amount of young adult drama involved. I especially loved the conversations among the Dianas that explored the complexities of being aroace while living in an allo world including the complexities of being aroace in many queer spaces.
It was cool to see a story centered around characters who already knew they were aroace (not a self-discovery or coming out story) and have that aroace identity held in the real tension of what that meant for their long term future.
Ann Zhao states in the introduction "One book cannot reflect every single a-spec experience and all of its intersections with other identity markers -- my goal with Dear Wendy was to add to the a-spec literary canon, not encompass it" and I found that she met this goal completely.
The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (Fiction)
My Review:
This was a very sweet story about when you are true to yourself you are much more likely to thrive. I think many of us would be someone else from time to time if we could and that should be celebrated.
It's Pride Baby! (Kids)
This is a fun kids book focused on the intersectional Black Pride.
In the middle of celebrating, protesting, and rioting for LGBTQA+ rights, I think sometimes we forget how much of a journey pride can be. Knowing ourselves is always hard, but knowing our "pride selves" can be even harder.
Some people know themselves and have language to describe themselves from the very start, while others take a more winding path to self-knowledge.
I would say while we often speak about being queer or questioning the intricacies of questioning are often glossed over. Today I will share part of my own pride journey from ally to ace to aroace.
Ally
Growing up in the 90's and early 2000's, I was drawn to the LGBTQA+ experience, or at least the gay experience. I think this was because in the stories I read and watched, the gay dudes either were "adorable" (I know now that some gays really don't like this language because it feels a bit dismissive or infantilizing) or they had to work so much harder for love that it felt like their love was deeper or more real than other types of love.
Also, while I was unaware that I was aroace or autistic growing up, I think all three of these combined to make queer spaces feel comfortable. I thought I supported LGBTQA+ rights because "Love is Love," and I couldn't understand (and still don't understand) why people could be against love. Now I wonder if it was because they were places where not quite fitting in with society was celebrated and where, if I didn't totally understand the "how to people" rule book, it made sense to me since I was just an ally.
Ace
It wasn't until the 2010's that I had the language of being asexual, and that language really was only a decade old at that point. While asexuality has always existed historically, there has been a real lack of language to describe that experience. And before the internet and people being able to come together to talk about experiences, it was even harder because it was hard to prove a negative, a lack of sexual attraction to anybody. It took even longer for me to identify as Ace.
Now, looking back, it was very obvious., but I didn't have the language to describe my experience. I know in middle school, I worried my school because I said I was never going to have sex, and they were worried they had "broken" me via sex education and discussions of STDs and AIDS. I don't understand why they were worried about middle schoolers saying they didn't want to have sex, but their worldview at the time could not comprehend that idea. My parents basically reassured them that they hadn't broken me, and I learned to not mention it.
AroAce
This has been my most recent understanding of myself. It took me close to a decade and a half after determining I was Ace to claim my Aro identity. While I knew I had zero interest in personally interacting with anyone's reproductive organs, trying to determine what romance was was more complicated. When I asked what makes something romantic, I got variations of you know it when you see it.
And honestly, it was not until reading Loveless by Alice Oseman that it finally clicked for several reasons (and why representation in books and stories is so important). Why it took me so long to have it click that I could enjoy fictional characters whose relationships contained romance while not wanting that romance centered on me, I do not know. LOL In addition, I figured if I could spend a decade trying to determine what romance is and whether I would want it, it probably meant I didn't really desire it in the first place.
The complexities of being aroace are explored really well in the recent book Dear Wendy by Ann Zhao and it is a book I would recommend assuming you can handle a certain amount of young adult drama aka drama that could be resolved quickly if people just communicated LOL
My Journey
As you can see, while there were hints all along, my journey to my current AroAce identity took a winding path. I started out feeling like while I wished I could be part of the LGBTQA+ community that I was only an ally, then I realized I was already part of the community because I figured out I was ace, and then finally now I understand I am aroace.
So know wherever you are on your pride journey you are not alone.
Today is the start of pride and no matter where on your pride journey you are, know you are are at the exact correct spot on your journey to figuring out who you are are supposed to be, know you are beloved and loved, know that you are not alone. Also remember it is ok if Pride brings all the feelings.
.jpg)