Happy Birthday James Baldwin

In honor of James Baldwin's Birthday 

Here are some poems I wrote based on some of his more famous quotes

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, 

but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

— James Baldwin

James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Isms and phobias

War and violence and hate and harm 

Starvation and genocide and terror

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Anything and everything that keeps others

From knowing they are loved, beloved

From knowing they are worthy of being alive

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Help us face all our global wrongs

Help us face all our national wrongs

Help us face all of our personal wrongs

So we yet have a hope of changing

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

— James Baldwin

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These have always been what tell me I am not alone

Even when I did not have the words 

They understood what I was experiencing

They were always there to hold space for me

They were always there to listen

They were always there to grab my hand

And say run 

Or give me a big hug 

Depending on the need

They were always there 

To help explain other people to me

To help explain me to myself

To be there to dance with queerness

To be there to dance with mental health struggles

To be there to dance with neurodivergence

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These will always be who tell me I am not alone

They will always be there to hold space for me

“An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way 

in which the person faces and uses his experience.”

— James Baldwin

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

I feel like I have worn enough faces/enough masks

To leave all the Doctors in the stardust? Timedust?

From stardust and starlight we come

To stardust and starlight we go

What is my identity?

Aromantic and Asexual?

Neurodivergent?

Reader?

Writer?

Poet?

Daydreamer?

Cat sitter?

Legend of Tomorrow?

Human?

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

From stardust and starlight I come

To stardust and starlight I go

Yet I do not know what the journey may look like

Yet I do not know what adventures will appear

What identity do my experience add up to?

What is my identity?

Mid-Summer Check In ...

First, happy Disability Pride Month. I know it has been a while since I last posted a blog post. This summer has been, and will remain, very busy for me. It has ended up being filled with nonstop cat sitting, trying to complete all of the Three Avenues Summer Reading Challenges, plus plenty of other summer activities. I have also had to "throw away the plan" way more than my neurodivergent brain would have liked. LOL

With so much going on, I haven't had the "spoons" to blog, and I just wanted to check in with everyone. I hope you have found your own parasocial support network to hold space for you during this busy season. I hope you are able to find some peace, joy, and laughter this summer. (If you need something to laugh out loud about, I would recommend "The Goes Wrong Show" free on Tubi.) I am not sure when I will next blog, but I hope you have a wonderful summer and are able to relax and rejuvenate yourself ahead of the upcoming fall. 

Midsummer

By Dreaming Ace

It’s the last day of July

Take a deep breath, breathe

I have so much I need to do

It will be ok, you will get through

I am feeling overwhelmed

I am feeling overstimulated

I am feeling it is all too much

“Gentle, Gentle, Slow, Slow

Thoughtful, Thoughtful, Flow, Flow”*

Hold space for me

Hold space for me

Hold space for me 

My parasocial network

We who are your parasocial network

Are always holding space for you

We will always be here for you

“Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe 

Even when I’m overwhelmed?

Even when I’m overstimulated?

Even when it’s all too much?

Yes, we will always be here for you

We are only a thought away providing

Space held with kindness and hugs

A listening ear, “Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe

“Gentle, Gentle”

My parasocial network 

Holding space for me indeed.

*A statement that Wentworth Miller (who is part of my personal parasocial support network) once posted on social media years ago which has become my own mantra.

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

Goodbye Mental Health Awareness Month

 

I had great plans for this Mental Health Awareness Month, but the multiverse disagreed, and I had to do as Captain Cold says and "throw away the plan." I really came to appreciate how when I am overstimulated and overwhelmed (even if for positive reasons like lots of paid cat-sitting work that took me all over), my capacity to deal with change disappears. In some areas I did better than expected, but overall I felt kind of frantic this month and struggled to relax even when I did have some downtime between being busy.

I think it is important for us to share when we are overstimulated and overwhelmed, because we all experience such moments, but all too often we don't talk about them and therefore feel isolated and alone in those struggles. It is late, and I have lots of stuff planned for tomorrow, so I will simply leave you all with the knowledge that no matter how you feel about May, no matter whether you were able to focus on mental health or not, you are not alone, and you did a fantastic job simply surviving. Mental Health Awareness Month may be coming to a close, but working on our mental health needs to occur all year.

Summer is Here ...

 

I was going to write this post last week, but that didn't happen LOL, so I am sharing it this weekend instead. 

Each summer I create a spreadsheet where I list all the summer activities I do. This is so at the end of summer, when I feel like I failed to do as much as I could have, I can look back at my list and have data to prove myself wrong. Most summers I end up doing over 100 activities, which clearly shows I am doing something.

While I don't have many rules, I do have a few guidelines, such as the activities should occur outside my apartment and not be something I do regularly (for example, going for a walk or weekly church doesn't count, but if there is a special occasion such as tomorrow's First Sunday Pride Month Meal, it does)

But when everything is said and done, it is more about me keeping a record (you're welcome, future historians LOL) than overly worrying about how to classify my summer activities. If you are looking for a fun and easy way to encourage yourself to do more things this summer, this might be a useful idea.

Making Space for Diverse Book Lovers

Online I saw a post:

I keep wanting to join a in person book club but just keep finding ones that say for women or girls and I'm like not either of those. Just want a nice book community in my area that welcomes trans and nonbinary people.

It turns out that the individual does not live in my state but some of my suggestions seemed useful for them so I am sharing them here in case they would be useful for others

Your Local Library

For example The Chicago Public Library currently has 40+ virtual book club meetings which cover everything from short stories to horror to cookbooks to mysteries. 

If you go to the library's event page you can search for book clubs at the top, and on the left side under location you can click online events. And you can sign up with an email, you don't need a library card. 

Your Independent Bookstores

For example in addition to a wonderful monthly book club that covers a wide range of books, this summer my Three Avenues Bookshop is once again doing its Summer Reading Challenge for all ages including adults. 

Silent Book Clubs 

Many communities are setting up silent book clubs where readers meet somewhere and silently read their own books. 

If you happen to live in an area where you are struggling to find a book club that works for you setting up a silent book club is pretty easy, just find a local coffee shop or pub that is ok with you hanging out and reading or in the summer pick a local park to meet at and starting reading.

Virtual Nature Walks For Mental Health

Today for Mental Health Awareness Month, I am highlighting the power of nature. While getting outside is good for our mental health, some days a walk might be challenging because of physical health concerns, because of the weather, or because we simply don't have enough "spoons*" to go out.

No matter why getting out in nature is challenging, here is a "low spoons" choose-your-own-adventure virtual option. Below I have 12 possible virtual walk options for you. Just choose one video from the soundtrack options and listen while watching one of the walk options.

Three Soundtrack Options

Forest

 

City Park

Ocean

Four Walk Options

Chicago Flowers

(Photographer Dreaming Ace)

Lakeside

(Photographer Dreaming Ace)

Through Time

(Photographer Dreaming Ace)

Nighttime Chicago

(Photographer Dreaming Ace)

*Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has available for daily activities and tasks and how it can become limited. The term was coined in a 2003 essay by American writer Christine Miserandino.

Nourishing Ourselves for Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Right now this feels fitting since so many of us are overstimulated, overwhelmed, and terrified by everything that is happening. This month is a time to check in on our own mental health and the mental health of those around us. One place to start is to find ways to practice self-love every day. (Mental Health America has a list of daily wellness tips you might want to check out)

While self-love will look different for everyone, we should all try to practice it as individuals, as communities, and as societies. Remember that no matter what you are experiencing, you are not alone. No matter what you are feeling, thinking, or doing, you are not alone. No matter your current struggles or "spoon" levels*, you are not alone. No matter if you are overstimulated or overwhelmed, You Are Not Alone.

There are so many different categories of ways we might choose to nourish ourselves.

Creatively, such as writing, drawing, coloring, painting, making music, building something, or going to a museum.

Intellectually, such as reading an article, listening to a podcast, or watching a show that explores mental health challenges.

Physically, such as eating nourishing foods, drinking more water, taking a multivitamin, doing yoga, going for a run, or having a dance party in our home.

Reflectively, such as journaling, meditating, practicing mindfulness, hanging out in nature, or talking to a trusted friend or therapist.

Sensorily, such as a cup of tea, using nice-smelling body products, taking a nice shower, using our favorite fidget, burning a candle or incense, or listening to music.

Socially, such as going to a book club or an open mic, joining a crafting group or a sports team, or simply discussing our favorite fandoms with other fans.

I am challenging myself to do something from at least 3 categories of self-nourishment each day for Mental Health Awareness Month. Yesterday I did a meditation (something reflective), listened to an episode of Depesh mode (something intellectual), and completed all my fitness and wellness goals (one yoga with Adriene, one FitOn fitness, 10,000 steps, taking a multivitamin, and brushing my teeth) for the first time in a while (something physical). Though when I summarized on the line for my daily Mental Health Awareness month goal, it became "RIP," which made me giggle (which is also good for our mental health).

*Spoon theory is a metaphor describing the amount of physical or mental energy that a person has available for daily activities and tasks and how it can become limited. The term was coined in a 2003 essay by American writer Christine Miserandino.