National Suicide Prevention Week

Suicide is a tragic but important topic to have conversations around. You may have seen many articles and discussions appearing in your newsfeeds around suicide and related issues since:

• September is National Suicide Prevention Month
• September 8 -14, 2019 is National Suicide Prevention Week   
• September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day

While these discussions often only come up when someone famous dies from suicide, in reality, it is highly likely that you, or someone in your family, or a neighbor is suffering right now. 

Consider the statistics:

Globally:

• Each year nearly 800,000 people die by suicide, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.
• Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

In the USA (using CDC data from 2017): 

• Suicide is the 4th leading cause of death for adults ages 18-65. (CDC)
• An estimated quarter million people each year become suicide survivors.
• There were more than twice as many suicides (47,173) in the United States as there were homicides (19,510).

Let that sink in for a moment. (And the fact that while you read those statistics someone else died)

Warning Signs:

The warning signs of suicide are indicators that a person may be in acute danger and may urgently need help.

• Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself;
• Looking for a way to kill oneself;
• Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose;
• Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain;
• Talking about being a burden to others;
• Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs;
• Acting anxious, agitated, or reckless;
• Sleeping too little or too much;
• Withdrawing or feeling isolated;
• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge; and
• Displaying extreme mood swings.

Lies and Truths (via To Write Love on Her Arm):

Lie: If someone wants to die by suicide—there’s nothing you can do to stop it.
Truth: When people have reduced access to lethal means they are less likely to act on their thoughts.

Lie: How we talk about suicide doesn’t matter.
Truth: When people misuse extreme and hurtful phrases, it strengthens the stigma that surrounds a serious issue like suicide.

Lie: People who talk about suicide openly are only doing it for attention.
Truth: If a friend or family member is talking about suicide it’s important that you take it seriously.

Lie: Suicide is a purely selfish act or is the “easy way out.”
Truth: By viewing suicide as a strictly selfish response, it limits our ability to be compassionate, take action, and connect people to the help they need and deserve.

Important hotlines/organizations:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/) is a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. 

• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255.
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (ESP) can be reached at 1-888-628-9454
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Deaf & Hard of Hearing Options) can be reached at 1-800-799-4889

Veterans Crisis Line (https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/) is a 24-hour, toll-free hotline that provides phone, webchat, and text options available to military veterans and their families. It provides options for deaf and hard of hearing individuals.

• The Veterans Crisis Line can be reached at 1-800-273-8255, Press 1.

IMAlive Crisis Chatline (www.imalive.org) is a non-profit, worldwide 24/7, anonymous chatline to help anyone in crisis via instant messaging.

The Crisis Text Line (crisistextline.org) is the only 24/7, nationwide crisis-intervention text-message hotline.

• The Crisis Text Line can be reached by texting HOME to 741-741.

Samaritans USA (http://www.samaritansusa.org/) is a registered charity aimed at providing emotional support to anyone in distress or at risk of suicide throughout the United States.

The Trevor Project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/) is a nationwide organization that provides a 24-hour phone hotline, as well as limited-hour webchat and text options, for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth.

• The TrevorLifeline can be reached at 1-866-488-7386.
• TrevorChat can be found at https://www.thetrevorproject.org/get-help-now/ (available 7 days a week from 3PM to 10PM ET).
• TrevorText can be reached by texting TREVOR to 1-202-304-1200 (available M-F from 3PM to 10PM ET).

Trans Lifeline (https://www.translifeline.org/) is a nonprofit organization that is created by and for the transgender community, providing crisis intervention hotlines, staffed by transgender individuals, available in the United States and Canada.

• The Trans Lifeline can be reached at 1-877-565-8860.

And if you are not from the USA here is a list of global numbers you can contact for support:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Notes from Gun Violence Teach-Out

The University of Michigan is hosting a free "Preventing Gun Violence in America Teach-Out" through coursera. The Teach-Out has multiple expects who discuss the complexities of this issue from different angles. I would recommend this Teach-Out. (It is pretty quick and can be covered in an hour or two) 

My personal responses to some of the discussion questions raised are posted below. Consider what your own responses might be.

At the end, we were asked if we had any questions. I am putting my answer to this first because I think it helps provide context to my answers overall.

How do we increase funding for this research? How can we make this type of research more "sellable" ie newsworthy? How can we change the conversations around topics such as gun violence and suicide when there is deeply ingrained pushback to the discussion in society?

Do guns play a role in your life? Is there anything you wish people with different perspectives than you understood relating to guns? What changes do you want to see in your community related to gun violence? Are you hopeful or concerned about how these changes will come about?

I live in Chicago so my relationship with Guns is that they are harmful. No one I know uses Guns for hunting etc and I struggle to balance the idea that people feel they need guns when guns appear to me to be equal to death and pain and sorrow. In my experience guns are only used in mass shootings, in the military, by cops killing unarmed individuals (typically unarmed people of color) or in other violence. As items which kill I struggle with the pushback, many have to what feels like to me sensible gun laws.

Though media and a lot of our conversations center on mass shootings or assumptions about mental health, this Teach-Out highlighted how gun violence plays out interpersonally or through self-harm and that very, very few incidents of gun violence come from a person with mental health diagnoses. If this is a new understanding for you, how does it impact your thoughts on gun violence? If you were already aware, how can we start shifting our conversations?

I was already aware that gun violence was rarely instigated by a person with a mental health challenge. But it was not until recently that I started to think about the role that guns play in suicide (oddly I learned this from a candidate who released an envolved platform around mental health and suicide because they are part of populations which have had a higher tendency towards death by suicide).

I wonder if we frame our discussions about guns more around suicide prevention if certain suggestions could be seen as protecting gun owners and gun owner families themselves which I would imagine would feel less "threating" towards peoples way of life.

Like childproof caps on medicine, people complain, and for some populations like the elderly it can be a real pain but most people understand why we have childproof caps and don't see it as someone keeping medicine away from them. Or using a gun example seeing a waiting period as a way to check if you are in an acute mental health crisis not keeping you from guns.

You’ve heard experts compare gun violence and other public health issues that should be studied and prevented, like the introduction of seat belts or drivers’ license rules to react to car crashes. Have you thought about gun violence this way before? What kind of different feelings or thoughts come to you when you think about gun violence with this public health frame?

I think a Public Health frame is useful when looking at issues around Guns. There has been a general sense that Gun Violence is something we can't actually look at or study which means the conversations come up only during heated moments (when there is a mass shooting or a police officer shoots a civilian). These are no good moments to try to have complex conversations about complicated issues. We need to do more research on Guns and Gun usage.

Gun-Violence is a complex issue which is often only spoken about during heated moments of crisis. We have to be willing to have these conversations at other times. We also need to fund the research which could help us deal with this issue. Not funding this research is not making anyone safer. 

What Can I Do? A List Of 33 Actions

This past weekend we faced more tragedies in the form of the mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. Collectively there are so many struggles in so many contexts it feels overwhelming. What can we do? This meme created by Amanda Michelle shows there are many ways to fight for social justice.

(https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10157401157482368&set=a.496916177367&type=3&theater)

Here is a list of actions you can do right now. Some are individual work and some are community work. Note you do what you need to do knowing your own gifts and resources. This is a starting off point there are millions of other things you can do too.

Self-reflection*

1. Spend an extended time reflecting/journaling on your own prejudices. We all have prejudices name them to yourself, sit with them, don't judge them.
2. Examine where your prejudices are rooted (In a lack of exposure? In what your family or community says or does? In something, you feel you are missing and see as others taking away from you?)
3. Examine the prejudices of your own family/community (Again we all have prejudices name them to yourself, sit with them, don't judge them.)
4. Examine where your communities' prejudices are rooted (In a lack of exposure? In a feeling of being attacked? In the idea that things are good and the community and the communities' individuals don't have any prejudices)
5. Reflect on how prejudices are supporting you (why they are working for you so you keep them) and how prejudices are harming you (Why do you want to create change)

Learning*

1. Read books by authors with backgrounds unlike yours (If you are just beginning I might suggest reading kids books because they often ease you into a particular culture or identity)
2. Watching/Hosting documentaries exploring issues/cultures you are not familiar and having conversations
3. Reading blogs of individuals from cultures you are not familiar
4. Inviting someone out for a cup of tea to discuss their experiences
5. Respectfully going to another religion or culture's events. (Maybe a street festival, Maybe a worship service you don't know much about (The key is to be respectful most faith traditions are welcoming will list expectations for visitors such as dress etc), Maybe going to an interfaith event)

Community Organizing:

1. Join a local, regional, or national community organizing organization
2. Have conversations/ one on ones with your neighbors/co-workers about what they value
3. Go to an organizations community organizing training/anti-racism training ....
4. Complete a power analysis around one issue you care about (One example: https://justassociates.org/sites/justassociates.org/files/toolsforanalyzingpower.pdf) 
5. Think of an interesting and peaceful way to raise support around your community for something you value (Such as a guerilla theater, a postcard campaign, picketing, writing an op-ed ....)

Involvement in politics:

1. Know All your representatives on the national, statewide, and local level
2. Look up what different positions in government actually do
3. Research what laws and rules are being debated on your local level right now.
4. Support a candidate by donating or by canvassing
5. Run for office yourself

Other:

1. Sign a petition/Share a petition/Start a petition
2. Donate school supplies/Health and wellness items/Books/Clothing
3. Volunteer your time the most vulnerable
4. Write a letter/op-ed/poem/story/speech 
5. Find a new way to talk about an issue:  https://www.facebook.com/jim.poe.98/posts/10156632733008107
6. Donate culturally sensitive materials to programs working with youth
7. Go to a justice summit/community meeting/teach-in
8. Determine what a food pantry/battered women's shelter/group working with immigrants or refugees really needs to be donated and donate it or get others to donate it.
9. Help non-profits using your skills through programs such as https://www.catchafire.org
10. Support local businesses both formal (Restaurants, Bookstores) and informal (Kid-run businesses/part-time side hustles/community fundraisers)
11. Encourage someone else to continue to fight for justice
12. Talk about what you are doing, so others can be inspired
13. Take Care of Yourself

* (While Self-Reflection and Learning are needed actions we must move beyond, or move forward with into other action. If this is where you are, start here but if you have been doing work in these areas for a while make sure you are moving on to other work)

Radical Justice: Stepping back and Stepping forward

Today was Lighthouse Foundation's Racial Justice Summit: Boystown & Beyond. The Lighthouse Foundation has developed out of a recognition that a) there is a need for an organization which focuses on the African American LGBTQ+ population's justice needs in Chicago b) while the faith community I am apart of, Lighthouse Church UCC, is uniquely situated to work on these justice issues we needed to create new structure to scale up the work. 

It has been interesting to watch the creation of a new foundation. I have found the process to be "good challenging" and found it has led me to personal reflection about what spaces are for me and which spaces are not for me. 

As part of the Lighthouse Foundation, CARE (Coalition of Allies for Racial Equality) is being developed. This is the branch (or however you want to describe it) which is, to be blunt, for us white folks. This is the space that is being opened for us, with clear action items being provided (more to this point in a moment). It has been "good challenging" to realize that the space for us within the Lighthouse Foundation is within CARE. The Lighthouse Foundation itself is not our space. 

Historically even well-intentioned whites have had a tendency to see all spaces as our spaces and again historically often take over these spaces because we think we know better than those whose spaces the spaces belong to. As one of the pastors who spoke this morning said "we need to get out of the way" in situations such as this. Looking forward and knowing there will be times where the Lighthouse Foundation creates spaces that are not for me and knowing I will need to stay out of the way is challenging and important. 

On the other hand, there will be moments where CARE and I will be asked to step forward in clearly defined ways (sometimes by providing monetary and physical resources and sometimes literally stepping forward to march or demonstrate). CARE is being called to move beyond Studying and Planning and towards Executing and Measuring change.

Case Study: It was mentioned at the summit that at least one organization/group said they were unable to come to the summit today because it was at the same time as their racial justice committee meeting. This was used to highlight the need to move beyond exploring these issues and actually taking steps to make a change.

So as Lighthouse Foundation grows and develops I will continue to have to wrestle with knowing which spaces are for me and which spaces are not for me. I will also have to continue to wrestle with my role as an ally and supporter and learning where I am needed, not always necessarily where I want to be. Sometimes the best way for me to stand in solidarity will be to stand aside, other times it will be going where I am sent. 

Some of this process will be uncomfortable but I commit to the discomfort in the name of Radical Justice for all. 

Babylon 5: Faith and Mental Health

 

It was the dawn of the third age of mankind .... The Babylon Project was a dream given form. Its goal: to prevent another war by creating a place where humans and aliens could work out their differences peacefully. It's a port of call, home away from home for diplomats, hustlers, entrepreneurs, and wanderers.... all alone in the night. It can be a dangerous place, but it's our last best hope for peace. This is the story of the last of the Babylon stations. The year is 2258. The name of the place is Babylon 5. (Selections from the opening for  Season 1)

I grew up watching the show Babylon 5 (B5) and I have been thinking about its impact because a friend is watching the show for the first time. It was a major part of my creative daydreaming at the time (and I have to highlight "creative", I doubt too many others were having B5/Cadfael/Pretender crossovers in their heads).

Part 1:

"The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make this station and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are star-stuff. We are the Universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out. And, as we have both learned, sometimes the Universe needs a change of perspective."
From the epasoide: A Distant Star

B5 also had a large impact on my views of faith and religion. I took to heart that we are bits of the universe trying to figure itself out and developed my faith around this idea. I did not grow up with deep roots in any one faith tradition (outside a  few Jewish and Christian holiday traditions) so this made sense. For a long time (and sometimes still today) I talk about "The Universe" in a way similar to how others speak about God or Gods. "The universe" was my opening to faith and is still the language I am most comfortable with even as I learn to appreciate the many other names used by faith traditions. Looking back I am grateful for B5 for laying a faith foundation I have slowly built upon. (I could go into more detail about certain characters and plot arcs but want to keep this spoiler free for my friend)

Part 2:

For the first season, Michael O'Hare played Commander Jeffrey Sinclair. Sinclair was a very interesting character and whose character was taken in interesting directions later in the show. Somewhere back at my parent's house I have his autograph that my dad got for me when he went to a con, (I don't remember which one). 

It was not until much much much later that we learned about the mental health struggles he faced while on the show. Here is J. Michael Straczynski discussing Michael O'Hare's battle with mental illness. (The clip contains a few spoilers for the show and his character. If you choose not to watch his struggles were similar to the struggles portrayed in the film A Beautiful Mind) 

For me, the take away is you never know what others are going through. You never know what others are struggling with. And in the end, we can never talk about mental health issues enough.

3rd Anniversary of Pulse ... A Reflection

Today June 12 is the 3rd Anniversary of Pulse

Today I listened to their names once again

Today I Re-Read Love is Love

Today I donated and remembered what I wrote right after Pulse Occurred

Orlando Sunday

I would have written

Different words

On a Different Topic

But today 

Tragedy came

And not to speak of it

Would be another form of tragedy

We morn for Orlando

We morn for all those who were killed

We morn all those who were injured

In a time a place

When we have become numb

To the Tragedies all around us

This hits home

In a hard to explain way

That brings tears

To my eyes at random moments ever since 

We morn for Orlando

We morn for all those who were killed

We morn all those who were injured

Where being bold and big and beautiful

Leads others to hate

Where the sanctuary and safety of clubs and dancing

Is destroyed in a moment

When today's tragedy echos back through time

Reverberations of Stonewall

Reverberations of The UpStairs Lounge Fire

Reverberations of Today's all too frequent killing of Queer Trans Women of Color

We morn for Orlando

We morn for all those who were killed

We morn all those who were injured

We will morn

For what has been

For what still is

And we will face our fears

Knowing our safety

Knowing our community

Are ever fragile things.

We morn for Orlando

We morn for all those who were killed

We morn all those who were injured

We will grab the hands of history

And stand hand in hand

With each other

With all those struggling

To let their amazingness shine through

We shall not be moved

We Shall Not Be Moved

We morn for Orlando

We morn for all those who were killed

We morn all those who were injured

Someday we will truly be free

Someday the arch of justice will finally reach the ground

Someday this will become History

Not History repeated

Today was a great Tragedy

But tonight I light a candle and stand in hope

In the wise words of Lin-Manuel Miranda

Love is Love is Love is Love is Love is Love is Love

Privilege, Passing, Pride

There have been so many tragedies over the years

Which could not be escaped

But this one hit close to home

I have been searching my soul

And wrestling with the privilege I have

As a HeteroRomantic Ace

The privilege of others lack of imagination

Which lets my identity fly under the radar unnoticed, unhated

The privilege of safe places and safe communities

Of a recent History where it felt like, we all who are people of the LGBTQ rainbow, had only found victories and celebrations and steps forward.

The privilege of “Passing”

Of not having to worry about each held hand or each stolen kiss

Like so many of my brothers and sisters do

Pride in my identity as Ace

But knowing I will always have privileges that others do not

And always feeling like I am trespassing on LGBTQ Holy ground

I have no answers

Only Questions

I Have Privilege

I am Passing

I am full of Pride

But as I keep being reminded

I will never truly feel

What so many of my brothers and sisters feel everyday

The Fear

The Sorrow

The Uncertainty

I mourn for my community

I mourn for my community

I mourn for my community

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And tonight on this 3rd anniversary 

I shall have a dance party in their honor 

Because as my T-shirt today says

Pentecost, Pride, Protest*

This year is the 50th anniversary year of Stonewall and many have used this history as a call for protest in this day and age where there are so many things and ideas and people who need to be protested.  There has been a refocus on the queer people of color who started the riots and who started the modern day LGBTQ+ rights movements. The same queer people of color who face the greatest hardships still today.

Now I will start by saying others have said that words are not enough, that action is needed too. I completely agree with this but I still think there can be power in a very sharp pen. So here are my reflections on my church and the power of justice movements.

Recent situations in Boystown (one of the predominantly LGBTQ+ areas here in Chicago) have refocused individuals and groups attention to issues of racism which are still present. In too many establishments parts of individuals identities are welcomed but other parts are not. Individuals have to choose if they want to be welcome because of the LGBTQ+ identities or their identities as people of color but rarely are welcomed for both.

In response to the situation, Lighthouse Church of Chicago (My Church which is a predominately African American LGBT inclusive community) has taken to the forefront and has already created a broad coalition. Within a week we have had a protest with 75-100 people attending, a community meeting with 75 people attending, and a meeting after church making sure we have a consensus around moving forward. As our Pastor Jamie Frazier (Pastor J) said we are uniquely placed to be on the more radical edge of this movement because we are not beholden to government money or other such limitations.

As keeps being restated this is not the beginning of a movement this is simply the most recent chapter or volume of the movement. Now we are in the first few weeks where everything seems shiny and possible but sitting in on the various meetings so far I feel a real sense of both energy to do something and a real sense of hope. A sense that we stand on the shoulders of others and that we are not alone in the fight and that we have many allies who will support our efforts. A sense that we are empowered (by the Holy Spirit or God or the Universe or whatever you want to imagine).

I have a sense we really have a good idea of what we can accomplish. As Pastor J says "We can do everything, but only one thing at a time". We stand on earlier chapters of this battle and it shows. Our organizing feels very mature? (not sure the best word), very thoughtful, very energized, very in it for the long hall, and so very possible.

For me a white ace ally, I feel like how I imagine it must have felt like during the early civil rights movement. I am grateful for my church and all its community and denominational allies. There are so many people who want to make a difference and I feel like we have a chance to make that difference. I hope that my skills and talents can be used by others.

Pride started with a protest, this is one protest I am involved with. What protests are you involved with? How can you be an ally to others fighting? What are you going to do this month of pride and going forward? There "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" to keep us from justice.

* The title of this weeks post comes from Pastor Jamie Frazier's sermon this morning at Lighthouse Church of Chicago