Marching To A Different Kettle Of Fish: Always Was The "Weird" Barbie/Human

 

Today I watched Barbie (2023) for the first time. It was showing at my local branch of the library. I want to start by saying I did not grow up playing with Barbies so I don't have the same nostalgia that many viewers seemed to have. 

This means that I am sure I missed the importance of many of the references because Barbie is just not one of my fandoms. On the other hand I did love the 2001: A Space Odyssey reference at the beginning.

The movie asks do Barbies show those who play with them (typically young girls) that they can be anything they want including president ? Or are they a tool of the patriarchy to make girls think anything is possible when the system is set up so no matter what they do they will fail? 

My Different Relationship To Toys:

For me the movie highlighted how I have a different relationship with my toys, characters, stories than many others. For example you will rarely find me without my Captain Cold POP figure or my Fidget the Fidget Dragon but I don't use either to express who I am per se.

While I love the character Captain Cold and I am deeply inspired by the actor behind the character Wentworth Miller, I have never thought of getting into robbery or being an actor because of that love LOL. Instead I carry my Captain Cold as a form of comfort. 

My Captain Cold is a physical representation that I am not facing the world alone. A reminder of Captains Cold's wisdom to "Throw Away the Plan" and Wentworth Miller's wisdom "gentle, gentle" etc. Or maybe Captain Cold is an anthropomorphic personification for me to hang with.

My Different Relationship To Being Woman:

Selections from Gloria's monologue from Barbie (2023):

It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.

For me the movie also reminded me that I "wear" being a "woman" differently than others. I can recognize that systems are not designed to support woman (even the temperatures of most offices which are based off of “the metabolic rates of men” so women end up feeling cold). Also I can recognize there are so many contradictory messages about what a "woman" is supposed to be. But I experienced / experience those expectations differently from others because of the intersections of my other identities such as being Ace and Autistic.

Ex. I remember years ago a trip to NYC with my grandma and she asked me if she should get shoes that hurt her feet but were fashionable or ones that were comfortable but not fashionable. I answered the comfortable ones, which even I was able to tell was not the answer she wanted. In hindsight I recognized her response in buying the fashionable shoes that hurt her feet as being just another thing about people I did not understand then put her in a metaphoric bubble or box and labeled it "people being confusing" and moved on with my life.

In many cases instead of "tying myself in knots to please other people" in my head I went I am confused, I don't have the bandwidth to deal with understanding people, so I will hang in my own universe because the joint universe we call reality is not really designed for me. This means that overall the struggles that are faced by women feel more intellectual. Or maybe it is better said I have been privileged to not have to be aware of those struggles in my life. I was always the "weird" barbie/human hanging in my own corner of the multiverse.