Am I Disabled? Intersections Of Neurodivergence and Disability?

March is National Disability Awareness Month. 

What is disability?

As the CDC puts it a disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions). The CDC reports up to 1 in 4 (26 percent) adults in the United States have some type of disability.

To be honest I was not paying attention that March was Disability Awareness Month until a local family owned bookstore put up a display for Disability Awareness Month and it happened to include a wide selection of books around neurodiversity including autism which confused me a bit since I knew that National Autism Awareness Month was not until April, and I was not sure why neurodiversity would be part of the Disability Awareness Month display.

Which brings us to the question am I disabled? 

(Note I will be using the wording that works in my brain right now, if I am using the wrong terminology I apologize in advance and I do not intend to do so, and the classic phrase "When you know one autistic person you know one autistic person" also applies, I am in no way claiming to speak for anyone expect myself)

According to the CDC Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) is a developmental disability that can cause significant social, communication and behavioral challenges. (emphasis added)

But that does not answer my question or at least does not answer if I feel disabled. I think there are a number of reasons that I struggle to claim an identity of disability while I do not have that challenge when it comes to an identity of neurodivergence or an LGBTQ+ identity.  

I think the most important ones are

a) I am new to my autistic identity so I have been functioning for my whole life up to this point and personally saying that means I was disabled even though I did not know it is hard for me to wrap my head around. 

b) While self-diagnosis in the adult autism community is widely accepted because there are many barriers to formal diagnosis as an adult being self-diagnosis makes me feel like I should not be taking from the very limited pie of resources available for those who are disabled. 

c) I am guessing there is a dose of internalized Ableism in my thoughts that since I have low support needs, those support needs are less important/less worthy of being named a disability. The thought patterns that since I can function without high support levels that must mean I am not disabled because my internalized Ableism says only high support needs count. 

Personally I am still wrestling with the question: Am I disabled? I am also wrestling with:

• What supports/accommodations would be useful?
• Where have a needed supports but since I did not know I needed them/to ask for them just decided something was not for me or that I was bad at something and quickly moved on to something else?
• In what ways have I been disabled through out my life?
• When a therapist suggested I was autistic, and I later self diagnosed, it felt like a smooth transition that did not involve that much processing, autism just became my new special interest LOL. Now about 9 months later I am realizing I am not sure if I processed enough at the start and think I still have more to process

I can't say I have any answers to these questions yet. But I do think spending some time considering them is a useful exercise. (And once we reach April I will be blogging more about autism and my autistic journey just Wait for It LOL)