Goodbye 2021/Hello 2022

 

2021 is counting down, and tick by tick, tock by tock, tick tock, tick tock 2022 is on its way. No one knows what 2022 will bring. What adventures and what challenges. What joys and what sorrows. This is a good time to pause and reboot. 

For some this means making resolutions (if so I would suggest listening to some of the recent short talks on the Make Your Damn Bed podcast on Spotify Resolutions, Resolutions 2, New Years) 

For some this means picking a theme (My theme for 2022 is "It does not have to be perfect")

For some this means taking on a challenge for Jan such as Yoga with Adriene's Free Move program, trying a short meditation each day, or if you are one of those people who typically drinks having a dry January.

For some this means reviewing the year past and seeing our accomplishments and where we need to make small tweaks to get where we want to be. 

2021 has been a year. I accomplished some things I would never of guessed, and did not get to things I thought I would this year. It has both felt like the fastest year of all time as well as the slowest year of all time. I had plans but we know what we need to do with plans (throw them out.) 

I do not know what 2022 will bring (no one does), but I am ready to face what ever may come. I wish you all a meaningful and bold and joy filled New Years that fills you with belonging and Love.

Advent Week 4: Joy

 

This is the final week of Advent and this week's theme is Joy.

What do you do for yourself to have joy in your life?

Joy

Joy Ever

Joy Forever

Joy Forever Growing

Joy Forever Growing Bigger and Bolder

Joy Forever Growing

Joy Forever

Joy Ever

Joy

Joy can look like a million different things

So seek the small actions that bring you Joy

I wish you a season filled with Joy

Deep meaningful and wonderful Joy

Longest Nights ...

 

Soon it will be the longest night

Though many of us have been living

In such a moment for time upon time

Times when the night is longer than the day

Times when there is doubt the sun will rise again

Times where a winter chill blows through

Bodies and Minds and Spirits

This is not a night for certainty

Nor for platitudes or common sayings

This is not a night to be rushed

Or skipped over in our hustle or bustle

Instead this is a night 

To sit, To watch, To wait

And maybe to hope

Soon it will be the longest night

And while we do not know for certain

If the sun will return to the sky

We do know that we all sit in the darkness

The darkness covers the whole land

And therefore we know we are never alone

Never alone in the darkness

We may not be able to see those around us

 We may not be able to see a light in the sky

We may not be able to see past this moment

But we are never alone in this darkness

Thank You: Responders To Letters

Department of Transportation beats the VP*** LOL

I have Secretary Pete Buttigieg and Chasten on my seasonal card list. I never actually expected a response since I bet he gets lots of encouraging fan mail, though I still hoped that the department would have some sort of thanks for writing department/intern. Well today I grabbed the mail, saw something I did not pay much attention to since I assumed it was some nonsense from the city. 

I am glad I opened it carefully since it was a letter from Pete. :) :) :) With a real signature as in the ink can be seen from the back so not just a stamped signature. The letter is clearly a kind of generic thank you for writing, kind of letter, but I got a response which is amazing and means I will continue to send him cards since he might actually see them, at least some of the time. It was a really cool piece of mail to get today. And reminds me that sending people cards is important even if I am not sure if they get them at all. Surly worth the cost of a stamp.

*** 

Back when Clinton was president me and my friends sent a few letters and I got generic thank you for writing notes with pictures from all the Clintons, from Sox the cat, from maybe a puppy dog? and a few others (They are back home with my parents so I can't quickly look them all up). I got enough I started to take them all for granted.

At that time I also wrote Gore and never got an answer and remember being annoyed he did not have as good a thanks for writing department/intern to sends this type of stuff/ etc. I have not written Harris yet so I really can't compare but right now the Department of Transportation responds better than the VP at least in my mind. Though now I feel like I have to do a scientific study and send notes to the VP and President and see if I get a response

Intersectionality ...

 

I recently finished "Wild Tongues Can't Be Tamed" a collection of essays exploring the complexities and intersectionalities of the Latinx Diaspora and the Latinx identity. One common theme is not always feeling like you fit within your identities or not being sure how you want to identify in the first place. 

While I am coming from a very different place I too have experienced this "identity uncertainty", this struggle with language, this questioning who I am and where I fit into the world and communities around me. Sometimes simply having an identity does not lead to a feeling of belonging.

In the essays there was multiple cases of the various authors feeling like they were looking in to, versus belonging to, a community. Cases of questioning if their experience "counted" or which of their experiences that should identity with at any given moment. 

I know I often feel like I am looking into communities, or enjoying them like I enjoy a good story. When I read a story I can connect to the characters or the writer but that is different from actually being part of the story. (I have yet to pull a "Thursday Next" and physically end up within a story LOL) 

I find I have created a whole support system filled with characters, and actors, and writers, and creative individuals who I can connect with but who I have never met. 

For example: I bring a Captain Cold POP figure in my pocket pretty much no matter what I am planning to do. My Captain Cold is there when people become too much (Combo of my introvert nature and a much lower tolerance for in person interactions after the past two years.) 

For example: Wentworth Miller lives in my head and my journal and I lean on him when ever my mental health goes a bit wonky since I know he understanding what I am experiencing. There is power in someone understanding even when you can not always put what you are experiencing into words.

For example: I have turned to a group of Wentworth Miller, Victor Garber (Professor Stein Actor), Russell Tovey (Talk Art, Earth X Ray Actor) and Robert Diament (Talk Art, King of the Gallerists) when I want to explore the intersections of my Ace identity and the wider LGBTQ+ community.

And I could go on and on since my support system is a multifandom, multiuniverse, multitimeline creation. In the end while the particular intersections of the Latinx community will never be my own I do understand how identity can be both really personally and be rooted, or not rooted in community at the same time.

Advent Week 3: Love

Love can take many different forms. For example the Greeks had so many words that it is hard to pinpoint how many there really are. For example here is 10 of them. 

• Agápe: brotherly love, charity; the love of God for man and of man for God
• Éros: romantic or passionate love
• Ludus: playful love
• Mania: obsessive love
• Meraki: to do something with love, creativity, and devotion, when you wholeheartedly put yourself into what you are doing.
• Philautia: self-love, to love oneself or regard for one's own happiness or advantage
• Philia: affectionate regard, friendship, usually between equals
• Pragma: enduring love
• Storge: love, affection and especially of parents and children (Or I would add found family)
• Xenia: hospitality, "guest-friendship" or "ritualized friendship"

This is a great season to take a moment and think about all the places love shows up in your life as well as all the forms it shows up in. This is also a great time to think about how to focus Philautia, Xenia, and Meraki into your life. 

C2E2 2021: My review

I made it to C2E2 this weekend. It was the first in-person convention I have been to since the before times. Everyone was required to be vaccinated and to wear masks the whole time and it had a much smaller turnout than past years so I felt comfortable going. 

(I know many others who did not feel comfortable enough to go especially with uncertainty around Omicron but doing a risk assessment and talking to those I have regular contact with I felt ok going)

This year C2E2 was much smaller than in years past and even so I was very gentle on myself. Since this was the first extended period with a large number of people in two years I knew I was going to get tried much easier than normal. This meant spending shorter days at the convention.

I went to 7 panels (which is much less than some years but I found sitting and trying to focus for hours on end was challenging this year)

1. Coffee & Comics: Writing Masterclass 101
2. Amplifying Black Voices and Bold Stories in Comics and Creative Tech
3. Witches, Gods, & Monsters
4. Celebrating & Creating Diversity in Pop Culture (featuring one of my friends)
5. Caped Crusaders: Creators talking About Crimes Alleys and Dark Knights
6. Hip Hop and Comics: A Dynamic Duo
7. Tis the Season: Hack the Holidays (and Save Your Sanity) (this was an interesting panel but for various reasons the topic of the holidays did not really come up it was more about mental health in general)

This year I ended up spending much more time on the show floor. I was glad that it was spread out more than in past years (in part because there were fewer vendors) so I very rarely felt like I had to get within 6 feet of anyone else. Many of the traditionally big names were not there such as Marvel, DC, or the larger book publishers but it just made it feel like a smaller more local con instead. 

I ended up with a few of the free books offered by the Science Fiction Outreach Project.  One that stood out was the above magazine that covers Legends of Tomorrow and even included two photos of my Captain Cold. I also ended up walking up and down artist alley much more than is typical for me which felt like going to a free fandom art museum.

While there were clearly fewer people there still were good costumes including a whole range of Loki variants, and several holiday based cosplays. Since C2E2 has traditionally been in early spring all the holiday themed items kept surprising me. Overall I had a good time and I am glad I decided to go this year. Now I will need a few days to decompress from so much people time but that is fine.

Rituals Not Resolutions

 

The last few days have been a little wonky. For various reasons I fell away from my normal daily task list (Fitness, Health, Self Care, BBJ, and Other) and could really feel the impact on my mental health. I felt a bit stuck and had low energy levels. (Today I am back to doing my daily list and I am feeling better)

I think we all recognize the importance of rituals especially at this time of year. Some rituals involve candles, some involve food, some involve music, and some involve being in relationship with others. While no two people's holiday rituals look the same most of us have some ritual that makes the holidays feel like the holidays.

On a related note during this season we often are thinking about resolutions for the New Year. I am still working out what my theme will be for 2022 (For example for 2021 my theme was Belonging, Boldness, and Joy) and was talking to a friend about how my resolutions are not typically resolutions and are more amorphous. 

Thinking about it, my resolutions tend to turn into rituals instead. I tend to pick categories such as say fitness or self care and instead of defining what that looks like, I go I will do a set number of activities in each category each day but am flexible on what that looks like. 

If the weather is nice might go on a long walk, if cold and gloomy maybe yoga instead or a dance fitness class. Or one day I might burn candles and drink tea, while a different day I might do a mediation and journal, or use lotion and give myself a self massage. In this ways I am creating rituals not resolutions.

Rituals can be very powerful (one of the reason we have so many holiday traditions that have been passed down through the years), and we can harness this power and create our own rituals. Rituals are a great way to center ourselves and make sure we are connected to our inner selves so that we can be at our best in any given situation. 

Advent Week 2: Peace

 

This is the second week in Advent and a time when we focus on peace. Peace can look like a whole range of things and looks differently to each and every one of us. Advent is a particularly good season to focus on inner peace. The holiday season is often a series of running to and from events and celebrations and we can forget to focus on ourselves. 

Personally I know there are several things on my to-do list which have become "impossible tasks" to me so I am trying to be gentle with myself. I will get done what I get done and that is all I can ask of myself right now. While we all should be finding ways to nurture ourselves all the time so we can in the word of Wentworth Miller "vibrate at the right frequency" this is a particularly good season to do so.

Oh and I have found in the past if I do some inner work during this season it helps me create "smart" goals for the new year because I have a better understanding of where I am and where I might like to go in the future. So I hope that this season is filled with peace for you. Peace around who you are. Peace around what your life looks like. Peace around your relationships with others. 

Beebo's Holiday Lessons (Spoiler Free)

 

This week was the introduction of the holiday special "Beebo Saves Christmas." If you don't know Beebo is a stuffed animal from the show Legends of Tomorrow. He first accidentally became a god to the Vikings in "Beebo the God of War." (Why you have to be careful when you accidentally time travel) 

In "Beebo vs Mallus" the Legends fight an army of Romans, Pirates, and Vikings and a demon called Mallus in the wild west and save the world by combining there powers and becoming a giant Beebo (in Captain Planet fashion) so you know Beebo's Holiday special is going to be strange and fun.

I really enjoyed some of the lessons of Beebo Saves Christmas including:

Everyone celebrates the holidays in their own way. There is no right way to celebrate and sometimes activities that don't appear festive are festive for those celebrating. This is an important reminder not to judge how others celebrate and a reminder to not judge how we celebrate either. No one is "doing it wrong." This is especially important during a year where a lot of things do look different from years past for a wide range of reasons. 

There are a wide range of emotions we might feel at the holidays including joy, nostalgia, melancholy, sadness, … I was especially impressed by this because the majority of Christmas/holiday movies are about people finding the holiday sprit and becomes joyful and happy or moving past tough emotions simply because it is the holidays. Few holiday films include the fact that many people experience other emotions which is why Blue Christmas/Longest Night services are popular. 

Now Beebo saves Christmas is pretty wild and silly but what else would we expect from a Beebo Christmas special. :)  And among the silliness there are some important lessons that we all could do to remember. It is important to remember we do not have to compare our celebrating with how others are celebrating. The holidays can be however we celebrate and whatever we are feeling. The holidays are big enough to hold everything in our lives. And that is an important lesson for us all. 

Advent Week 1: Hope

It is the first week of advent. A time when many of us focus on the idea of Hope. (And this year it is also Hanukkah so a doubling of light, hope, and miracles which is good because I think we all need more light, hope, and miracles right now) This has been a year where many of us have faced challenges and some of us are wondering where hope might be found. 

As a friend of mine pointed out the phrase "it will get better" can be toxic because we do not know if it will get better but we can still have hope. We can have hope even if all feels lost or if we have no idea if it will ever get better. 

Hope is saying let's see to what may come.

Let's see what happens next, let's see where we can shine some light, let's see where we can find light for ourselves, let's us dream dreams, let's make plans (even if we have to throw them away later), let's spend time on our selves, let's spend time connecting with others …

In this season of hope consider what you are hoping for and ponder ways to make tiny steps of progress on those hopes. We have just about a month to go in 2021 which means we can prep for the new year and help set us up for success. Sometimes simply making a list of smart goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and anchored within a Time Frame) can make all the difference.

I hope you have a wonderful season of hope

Being Thankful: What We Already Have

 

Today is the day after Thanksgiving. This year I am flipping this day around and using it to focus on simplifying and organizing instead of buying a ton more "stuff". 

As I get a million and one "Black Friday" emails I am using it as an opportunity to unsubscribe from lists that I forgot I was on or from lists that no longer bring me joy. Which will help simplify my inbox going forward.

I am "thrifting" within my own apartment. This came to be because I was looking for a few items at a thrift store earlier in the week, did not find any, but realized I had more in those categories than I thought at home. 

So over the course of this weekend I am taking out all my clothing and switching summer items for winter items, seeing what I have in many of these categories, and seeing what no longer serves and I can donate both helping others and organizing my own spaces. 

Note: I have a small space and a manageable amount of stuff, if you have lots of stuff you don't have to take it all out at once LOL. Also this is part of a planned deep clean of my room for the new year which is also giving me more motivation to go a bit deeper than normal.

I am looking at what food I have post Thanksgiving and what new creations I can make with that food. Also I am thinking about the various holiday baking I want to do and what supplies I will need to pick up for those yummy projects

I am doing an inventory of the holiday stuff I have so I can enjoy holiday candles, or lotions, or decorations this holiday season. I have many items to make a festive season which means I don't need to buy a lot of stuff. 

So while "Black Friday" is often a day filled with shopping this year I am using it to organize my spaces and be grateful for the items I already have available to me. This feels like a meaningful way to launch the start of the Holiday season

Being Thankful: For Connections

 

Thanksgiving is a time that we are reminded to be grateful. It is also a time that there is an assumption that we are all grateful for family and friends. Now some of us are lucky and have wonderful and loving families but too many others have family dynamics which are complex and complicated to say the least. This is why being grateful for our connections more broadly can be helpful. 

Just a sampling of these connections might include:

• Artists of works we connect with
• Authors of stories we connect with
• Board game playing groups we have joined
• Characters we are in relationship with
• Fandoms we are part of
• Friends
• Found Family
• Gods/Goddess/Magical beings
• Local Librarians
• Mother Earth/Nature
• Pen pals
• Pets in our lives
• Postmen/Postwomen
• Religious Communities we are part of
• Social clubs we are part of
• Sports teams we are part of
• Work communities we are part of

So no matter who you are my hope is you have a myriad of different connections to be Thankful for. And always remember the most important connection: Your connection to yourself. It does not matter if you are all alone, surrounded my millions, feel disconnected, feel connected, you can always be thankful for being your own best friend.

Being Thankful: For Ourselves

 

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

The atoms and stardust that make us up

The cells of our our bodies that keep us alive

The dreams and stories that our minds create

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

Our Tenacity

Our Adaptability

Our Courage

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

All that which we overcame

All that which will struggle with

All the ways we have been superheroes

This is the start of Thanksgiving week. It can be easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and forget we are all doing our best no matter what we might be experiencing. 

This is a great week to do a few extra self care practices.  

1. We might have a relaxing cup of tea
2. We might spend time outside in the sun
3. We might use lotion
4. We might listen to some calming music
5. We might be creative: write, draw, color, or paint
6. We might bake ourselves something yummy
7. We might take a bath
8. We might burn candles or incense
9. We might give ourselves a massage
10. We might meditate or do some yoga

The first step towards a good Thanksgiving is to make sure that we are thankful for being our amazing and wonderful selves. Often being thankful ends up outward focused and while there are lots of things outside of ourselves that we can be thankful for, it is important that we are thankful for ourselves too.  

We will always spend the most time with ourselves so it is important that we treat ourselves like a close friend. Among the busyness of this upcoming week take a few moments to reconnect with yourself. Reconnecting with yourself/being kind to yourself/being your own best friend, is always something to be thankful for, this season and all year round. 

Another Injustice ...

 Today another verdict came back

Another time when injustice occurred

If you are a vigilante

And jump the fence into the middle of a conflict

Then say you are attacked

It is not the others fault

It is yours

For far too many

When people protest 

Protest injustice

Protest broken systems

Protest being told

Over and over again that they are unworthy

The response of others is to bring guns and yell self defense

Bringing guns to silence voices?

Bringing guns to silence bodies?

Bringing guns to silence justice?

Don't, Please Don't, Please Please Don't

Don't bring guns to silence voices!!

Don't bring guns to silence bodies!!

Don't bring guns to silence justice!!

I 

I don't

I don't know

I don't know what

I don't know what more

I don't know what more I

I don't know what more I can

I don't know what more I can say

I don't know what more I can say or

I don't know what more I can say or do

In this particular moment

I don't know what more I can say or do

I don't know what more I can say or

I don't know what more I can say

I don't know what more I can

I don't know what more I

I don't know what more

I don't know what

I don't know

I don't

I

Teaching About Mental Health Is Vital !!!

Recently NBC news reported that there is a growing number of parents who do not want mental health taught in the classroom.  Let that sink in! A growing number of parents who don't seem to care that: 

1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year

50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-34

(https://www.nami.org/mhstats)

That the Trevor Project, a nonprofit focused on suicide prevention among LGBTQ youth, 

Estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth seriously consider suicide per year.

And in that past few months there have been several news articles about 

The impact of COVID on the mental health of kids as young as 8 years old.

  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/28/well/mind/mental-health-kids-suicide.html

Now I don't think the protesting parents actually want their children to suffer from mental illness or to feel all alone in the world. Don't actually want their children to feel like they have no reason to keep going, no reason to be alive. I think these parents simply are in denial that so many children are suffering and need support. That their child might be suffering. 

For those who struggle with their mental health, putting up a mask of being "fine" is common. This means that parents can't tell if their child is suffering just from appearances. Also in some cases children don't have the language to describe what they are experiencing unless they are given that language in school. 

This reminds me of an author who wrote a character who had panic attacks, and then was contacted by a older adult who was like I have experienced what that character experiences all my life but I thought I was all alone. The author explained the character was having panic attacks and told the reader to talk with their healthcare professional. 

This was an adult reader which means it is even more likely that a child would not know what they were experiencing. I also know of too many antidotal examples of celebrities who struggled attempted suicide in their youth because they did not see a way out. 

Actors such as Rupert Graves (Lestrade in Sherlock) who attempted suicide at age 15 because of a combo of depression and body image issue. Or my Wentworth Miller (Captain Cold) who suffered from depression, attempted suicide at age 15, did not tell anyone, and later attempted again as a freshman in collage. 

I know so many people who have struggled with mental health in the past, or are currently struggling with their mental health so talking about mental health is personal. I know friends who suffer from depression, I know friends who struggle with anxiety, and I know friends who long before I ever knew them had periods of suicidal ideation. I also know I have had period of my life that were much harder than they needed to be because I was unable or unwilling to reach out and ask for help.

We all need to talk about mental health. We all need access to mental health resources. We all need to know that we are not alone and that there are people who are willing to stand by our sides no matter what we are experiencing. And this needs to start with children in schools. 

Children need to know what to do when their thoughts are to loud, or when they feel like hurting themselves. If children are given information around mental health they can advocate for themselves and be more likely to survive to become amazing and wonderful adults. Why would anyone not want this for their children? 

Moments To Relax This Season

This is an important reminder at this time of year. There is something about the holidays that pushes us to try to be always at our best and create unrealistic expectations about what the holidays should or could look like. So many of us understand what "holiday stress" means and what it looks like for us. It might be busy end of year work schedules, it might be feeling like we have to get to a hundred events, it might be the stress (both happy stress and complicated stress) of seeing family. 

This past Saturday I want to a self care/art event hosted by Lighthouse Foundation. It was fun to relax and do a few paintings and make some essential oil aromatherapy spray. It was a fun break and a fun prep as we move into a busy holiday season. Now you might not be into art or want to work with essential oils but you should think about what self care will look like for you this season. It is important that we all take a moment to take a deep breath.

As the actor Wentworth Miller once said:

Just moments where I am doing what I need to do to make sure that I vibrate at the right frequency that might look like burning some sage, that might look like dinner out with a friend, that might look like a bath with Epsom salts – just the things that I need to do for myself that are small, doable, affordable, that nourish me. I think often we neglect ourselves, we focus on things in the external, but there’s a lot here (gestures towards his chest) that needs attention. (Wentworth Miller -- Oxford Union 2016)

Or in the wise words of Captain Cold knowing when we need to throw away the plans we have so we can respond to what is happening around us and within us.

 

Being Human, Being Alive

And you won’t be doing it alone.

Now, listen, We are all just trying to figure out this being human thing together.

It’s not always going to be easy.

And you know sometimes you’ll feel like you’re out of your mind

Or that the darkness is too much to bear.

But it’s worth fighting the darkness to discover who you really are.

Yes. And not just for yourself.

So you can create a better world for everyone.

Now, you’re gonna make some mistakes.

There’s no formula to guide the way.

No destiny to surrender to.

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about doing what you know is right.

And having a hell of a good time doing it.

That’s what it means to be alive.

And to be a Legend.

Welcome to the team.

DC's Legends of Tomorrow - WVRDR_ERROR_100

As a Birthday treat to myself, I watched WVRDR_ERROR_100 even though me and my roommate are still about a season behind watching Legends Of Tomorrow. Overall it was a great episode. I really was moved by the above quote at the end of the episode (each line was said by a different character and each line was a great fit for them adding even more meaning.)

This quote seemed like it was written for me as I start a new trip around the sun, and soon celebrate a New Year. No matter where you are on the journey called life, no matter if you think you might have broken the timeline once again, no matter if you are fighting demons, or aliens, or men on an ego trip, no matter if you are singing karaoke, You Are Not Alone. And together we who are an adorable band of misfits will change history, change time, change everything.

Neighborhood Thanksgiving Decorations

I have been finding a wide range of Thanksgiving Decorations on my daily walks. I knew people decorated for Halloween and then for Christmas but I have seen more Thanksgiving decorations than in years past. I thought I would share with you all. Hope you enjoy.

Time Changes and New Possibilities

 

This weekend we set our clocks back which means the sun come out earlier (and goes to bed earlier too.) This also means we are in the middle of new routines and new schedules. Right now is a great time to take a breath and pause before we move head long into a busy holiday season. 

Pause And Remember: You Are Thankful Enough

Sometimes during this season repeated reframes of "Be Thankful" can be stressful if we are facing challenges in our lives or if we are super busy with projects. Know that you are thankful enough, and you don't have to be thankful every moment of every day. Remember you can be thankful and still be struggling it is not an if/or situation. Give yourself grace if your mental, physical, or spiritual health is a little bumpy after the past two years.

Pause And Remember: Your Emotions Are Valid

The holidays can bring up a whole host of emotions, both positive and negative. Sometimes we can feel like we are "supposed" to feel one way or another but in reality all emotions (especially emotions around the holidays) can be very complex. Honor your emotions what ever they are. It is ok to be stressed or sad or angry or happy or tired but if we don't pay attention our emotions can make us bitter Scrooges. 

Pause And Remember: The Holidays Are Not The Be All End All

Many of us look forward to the upcoming holidays but sometimes we build them up to a point where we lose some of the joy. The holidays do not have to be prefect, will never be perfect, because that is life. So take in dinner if cooking is too hard or hang out virtually if everyone can't get together at the same time. 

We can even reschedule the holidays (I know shocking LOL) I have a friend with health issues who needed 2 months of Christmas celebrations so started Nov 1st to watch a Christmas Movie a day. I used to work somewhere where we would always have our staff holiday party in Feb or March because Nov and Dec were our busy months. The great thing about the upcoming holiday season is there are so many that we can choose from.

If the rest of this year is over flowing with busyness consider having an event in Jan or Feb when people have more free time and will appreciate a reason to party. We can allow the holidays to overflow and cover the whole year if we want to. We all know cookies and sweet treats taste yummy no matter what month it is.

LGBTQ+ Representation Good News

This past Tuesday was challenging but among all the new stories was the fact that next year America will have a record 1000+ out LGBTQ elected officials serving at the same time. That is good news that is worth celebrating. 

Non-Binary Elected Representation Will Increase Nationwide:

Xander Orenstein won a seat on the Allegheny County Magisterial District Court in Pennsylvania, becoming the first non-binary person elected to a judicial position in the United States.

Thu Nguyen won their race for Worcester City Council to become the first non-binary person ever elected in the state of Massachusetts.

Stanley Martin won their race for the Rochester City Council in New York to become the first non-binary person to serve in that body and Sarah Salem won reelection to the Poughkeepsie City Council, also in New York.

New York City Elects Most Out LGBTQ Councilmembers Ever

Crystal Hudson (District 35) and Kristin Richardson Jordan (District 9), who will be the first two Black out LGBTQ women elected to the council.

Lynn Schulman (District 29) and Tiffany Cabán (District 22), who will be the first out LGBTQ women elected to any public office from Queens.

Chi Ossé (District 36), who will be the youngest person ever elected to the council

Erik Bottcher (District 3), who will preserve LGBTQ representation in his district, an LGBTQ legacy seat that is home to the Stonewall Inn.

Non-Incumbent LGBTQ Candidates of Color Make History in City Council Races

Christopher Coburn: became the first Black out LGBTQ person elected in the state of Montana with his win for Bozeman City Council

Reggie Harris: became the first Black out gay man elected to the Cincinnati City Council

Darin Mano: became the first Asian American out LGBTQ person elected to the Salt Lake City Council

Stanley Martin: became the first non-binary person elected to the Rochester City Council and one of the first Black out LGBTQ people elected to the body

Gabriela Santiago-Romero: became the first out LGBTQ woman elected to the Detroit City Council and the first out LGBTQ Latinx person elected in Michigan

Dontae Payne: became the first Black man elected to the Olympia (WA) City Council

Alejandro Puy: became the first Latinx out LGBTQ person elected to the Salt Lake City Council; and
Alex Wan: restored LGBTQ Asian American representation to the Atlanta City Council.

Dion Manley Is First Trans Person Elected in Ohio, And Other School Board Wins

Dion Manley won his election for the Gahanna Jefferson School Board, making him the first trans person elected in all of Ohio.

Danica Roem Defeats Her Third Anti-Trans Opponent in Virginia

Honoring Days That Are "Days"

 

Honoring Days That Are "Days"

Honoring days that are "days"

When getting up and moving

Is simply a bit more challenging

Than it could be or might be otherwise

Honoring days that are "days"

Some days will go smoothly

Some days will be adventures

Some days will simply be 

Honoring days that are "days"

Sometimes is is about pushing forward

Sometimes is is about stepping back

Sometimes it is about simply sitting

Honoring days that are "days"

Today when nothing on my to-do list

Appeal at all to me I choose to go for a 

Walk and found wisdom written on a rock

Honoring days that are "days"

Be Happy

Be Awesome today

Be You

Honoring days that are "days"

So no matter what type of day

Your today is shaping up to be

You are not alone, never alone

Honoring days that are "days"

Remember you are beloved

Remember you are Loved

Remember you are amazing

Honoring days that are "days"

Be gentle on those around you

Be gentle on those far away

Be gentle on yourself every day

Honoring days that are "days"

Some days will go smoothly

Some days will be adventures

Some days will simply be 

Happy Month Of Thanks And Writing

 

Happy November 1st. 

This is a month where we start to put stuff away so we can be all cozy come winter. For some of us this involves cooking and then freezing various batches of food to fill our freezers with yumminess. For some this is a perfect month to spend thinking about and honoring those people and things we are thankful for. For some this means cleaning and organizing so come the busy holiday month of Dec we can feel calm and centered.

This is also a month where many people choose to do Nanowrimo: National Novel Writing Month. For some the focus is on completing the challenge to write 50,000 words over the course of the month. For others it is simply a push to put some focused time into writing knowing that each word is one more word than they would have normally written. There is no wrong way to do Nanowrimo and the point is to have fun.

No matter what you choose to do this season or this month I hope you find ways to feel warm and cozy, get to drink something warm (warm apple cider, Hot cocoa, tea ...), and feel good about yourself. Remember you are amazing, wonderful, beloved, and loved.

Happy Halloween Weekend

 

Happy Halloween

May this be a weekend of good magic

A weekend of dreams coming true

A candy filled weekend

A weekend to dress up as who ever you want

May this be a weekend of good magic

This is going to be a full weekend for so many of us between parties and campfires and Halloween parades. Halloween has a long history going back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain.

The tradition originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts. In the eighth century, Pope Gregory III designated November 1 as a time to honor all saints. Soon, All Saints Day incorporated some of the traditions of Samhain. The evening before was known as All Hallows Eve, and later Halloween. Over time, Halloween evolved into a day of activities like trick-or-treating, carving jack-o-lanterns, festive gatherings, donning costumes and eating treats.

 Some Halloween Fun

The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell (Netflix)

What We Do in the Shadows (Hulu)

The Addams Family (Pluto TV)

Happy Ace Week 2021

Being Ace:

• Ace Week is an annual campaign to raise awareness, build community, and create change globally. It is said that Aces make up about 1% of the population but that is likely to be an undercount since there is still a real lack of ace awareness plus there are many cultural norms/cultural expectations that can mislabel and dismiss asexuality.

Historical Context For Asexuality:

• Aces have left fewer marks on the historical record. For historical figures it often comes down to a lack of evidence that they had sex. But since asexuality is based on sexual attraction we will never know if individuals were ace or simply did not have sex for other reasons. Plus it is possible that figures were asexual/did not experience sexual attraction but lived in times where social norms such as reproducing forced them into sexual relationships.

• On the Kinsey Scale there was an X grade used to mean "no socio-sexual contacts or reactions" that is often thought of a a proto-asexuality classification. This X has many of the same issues as trying to identify asexuality in historical figures because it was not really set up to capture sexual attraction like we think about it today but it is evidence that while the term asexuality might be one of the newer ones it does not mean the identity itself is new. 

Asexuality:

• Asexual – A term used to describe someone who does not experience sexual attraction toward individuals of any gender.
• Gray-A, gray-asexual, gray-sexual are terms used to describe individuals who feel as though their sexuality falls somewhere on the spectrum of sexuality between asexuality and sexuality.
• Demisexual individuals are those who do not experience primary sexual attraction but may experience secondary sexual attraction after a close emotional connection has already formed.

Types of Attraction:

• Sexual attraction: attraction that makes people desire sexual contact or shows sexual interest in another person(s).
• Romantic attraction: attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons.
• Aesthetic attraction: occurs when someone appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person(s), disconnected from sexual or romantic attraction.
• Sensual attraction: the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way, such as through hugging or cuddling.
• Emotional attraction: the desire to get to know someone, often as a result of their personality instead of their physicality. This type of attraction is present in most relationships from platonic friendships to romantic and sexual relationships.
• Intellectual attraction: the desire to engage with another in an intellectual manner, such as engaging in conversation with them, “picking their brain,” and it has more to do with what or how a person thinks instead of the person themselves.

Romantic Orientations:

• Romantic Orientation – Describes an individual’s pattern of romantic attraction based on a person’s gender(s) regardless of one’s sexual orientation. 
• Aromantic: individuals who do not experience romantic attraction toward individuals of any gender(s)
• Biromantic: romantic attraction toward males and females
• Heteroromantic: romantic attraction toward person(s) of a different gender
• Homoromantic: romantic attraction towards person(s) of the same gender
• Panromantic: romantic attraction towards persons of every gender(s)
• Polyromantic: romantic attraction toward multiple, but not all genders
• Gray-romantic: individuals who do not often experience romantic attraction
• Demiromantic: an individual who does not experience romantic attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed. People who refer to themselves as demiromantic may choose to further specify the gender(s) of those they are attracted to (e.g. demi-homoromantic).
• Queerplatonic Relationships (QPRs) are those relationships that are not romantic in nature but they involve very close emotional connections that are often deeper or more intense than what is traditionally considered a friendship. Since there is not adequate language to describe queerplatonic partners, some people refer to these partners as zucchini.
• Squish is a term used to identify aromantic crushes; the desire for a non-romantic/platonic relationship with another person.

Asexuality In Media:

• There are historical characters who are often read as being asexual such as Sherlock Holmes. Since Sherlock Holmes was written long before Asexuality was a term being used we can never know if Sherlock really was Ace but many of his interpretations portray him in a manner that could mean he is Ace. 

• Now more than ever before there a books and story lines that include ace characters. Like stories that involve other members of the LGBTQ+ community some of these are in name only, some are harmful (spreading the negative idea that if someone who is ace finds the right person they will no longer be ace), and some are positive explorations of the complexities of being asexual.

• A great example of asexuality being handled in a positive fashion is this clip from season two of the show Sex Education. (Of course this is a representation of one experience of being Ace and others who are ace might describe it completely differently)