Intersections Of Identity aka Oh That Is Why People Are So Confusing

 

This evening I watched the live stream of Queering Culture featuring Matt Baume via the Chicago Public Library. It was a discussion of queer representation and queer coding within the history of sitcoms. When discussing the conversation with a friend (and them asking what queer coding was) I mentioned how I am not someone who picks up on queer representation or queer coding unless it is spelled out for me. 

And it is very much an issue of not picking up on it, the same way I don't pick up on most things when it comes to people being people. Honestly I often lean on fanfiction or commentaries to provide the context of what characters are experiencing or why they are behaving the way they are:

• "Oh fanfiction says that character is considered "sexy" interesting"
• "Oh fanfiction says that shirt/sweater/fill in the blank looks really good on them"
• "Oh fanfiction says that bit where they were acting really oddly they were actually flirting"
• "Oh fanfiction says those characters are meant to be in a romantic relationship not just friends"
• "Oh that academic paper says that character is coded as queer"

I will say that in the past I was confused why I never picked up on LGBTQ+ themes unless they were explicitly mentioned. Which was odd considering how highly I value LGBTQ+ representation. I think I thought it was just because I am Ace and that is why I did not pick up on things. However, now I have the fact I'm autistic as an additional explanation. 

In some ways this makes me feel better knowing that my inability to pick up on coded queerness is not some sign that I somehow really don't belong in queer spaces. Nor that I am simply "naïve" considering via fan fiction I feel like I could pass a basic quiz on kinks, safe BSMD procedures, etc LOL. In reality it is more likely just an offshoot of my deeper not understanding what makes most people act the way they do. 

The better I understand the intersections of my identities the more I understand why people are so confusing so much of the time. So writers, commentators, academics, etc. keep pointing out all the queer representation especially that representation which is coded representation so that I can see and celebrate it.