Doubting/Connecting

Sunday my pastor talked about "Doubting" Thomas and together we talked about the physical, emotional, and spiritual scars we all have and how sharing these scars is one way that we connect with other people in a more meaningful way.

When we were asked to comment with times we doubted like Thomas doubted the other disciples who had already seen Jesus "up and about" after being resurrected I said:

For me its more I just don't expect to be remembered or noticed much at all so when I am, I am always surprised and look like a deer in the head lights.

A good example of this is the fact that each year I happen to see the writer Robbie Thompson at C2E2 and he remembers me I am surprised, somehow expecting that the next time I will have been forgotten, or simply slipped into another timeline/universe where he does not know or remember me. But this is often the case with people I interact with and I am always surprised when someone, especially someone I have not interacted with recently, remembers me. In response to my comment my pastor said:

... You have a spiritual gift of encouragement, and its always interesting when we are shocked to received from others what we freely give

Which is true. It is much easier to give then it is to receive, much easier to see then to be seen, much easier to create space for others than it is to accept spaces created for us or even harder ask for spaces to be created for us.

What does it mean to be seen/heard/remembered?

Why is the gut reaction to freeze like a deer in headlights?

Why are we afraid of being too big and bold and wonderful?

Who sees me? Who remembers me? Who listens to me?

Who am I struggling to accept being understood by?

What would it look like to know people have my back

Just as much as many characters and actors always do?

We had a very interesting conversation around these subjects and a bunch of people shared their scars. Exploring our own physical, emotional, and spiritual scars is one way to understand both ourselves and others better. We all have scars. And it is in these scars that we can often find connection with others.