Wednesday, October 14, 2020

Optimistic Realism

 


When I was in high school I had a teacher who called me an optimistic realist. This concept can probably best be shown by the dialogue I had with "the universe" (what others might call God/Goddess/Love/….) which basically went I trust that you have a plan but I do not give up my right to complain. Which meant I had "conversations" like I know you are teaching me patience, but right now I don't want to learn patience. (But I do remember a time when a whole string of things had happened and then I was stung by a bug and I was like that is too far universe, and I could tell the universe went oops you are right the bug was too much and let me off the hook for a little while)

I have to admit that this election cycle has been really really hard. Just knowing how in so many ways my life, my identity, my humanity and the humanity of my communities is up on the ballot. It has been challenging to stay optimistic during this year called 2020. In today's Deciding Decade Podcast my Pete talks with Billy Porter and one takeaways was the importance of knowing our history so we can place what we are currently experiencing within that context in order to stay optimistic. 

I also have recently been watching several Wentworth Miller interviews/conversations including one at Oxford Union Society back in 2016 where he gave some good advice (in the context of mental health but works in many other contexts too).
What I will say is that self-expression is huge. Having a container in which to put what is boiling up inside of you, your anger, your fear, your guilt, your shame, finding ways to get that out – maybe it’s on paper, maybe it’s on a canvas, maybe it’s a jog around a school track – just get it out of you, as soon as it bubbles up, work to get it out.

Personally I tend to put what I am feeling into daydreams, fandom, fanfiction reading, poetry, this blog but I also know I sometimes struggle to really know what emotions I am feeling in a particular moment or to be able to separate my emotions from the emotions around me. Spending the energy and time to know what you are really feeling is important when life becomes a big ball of aggghhhh. 

Another thing is self-care. Just moments where I am doing what I need to do to make sure that I vibrate at the right frequency that might look like burning some sage, that might look like dinner out with a friend, that might look like a bath with Epsom salts – just the things that I need to do for myself that are small, doable, affordable, that nourish me.

To this affect today after several daydream adventures which ended up with fictional characters and/or actors getting me a weighted blanket, when I found a cheap one ($25 vs the several hundred they sometimes cost) while doing some errands I grabbed it. It was a self-care item that turned out was within my budget. (So far it has been really nice)

Right now I know how hard it is to be optimistically realistic. When it feels like we are all stuck in an end of season the world is ending episode time can feel very sticky and thick. But in moments of sticky/thick time remember all those episodes from fiction and history and remember it always comes down to connecting with others, holding out your hand to those with less privilege, and showing the darkness that it will not win if we simply keep going. 

Oh, people like us we've gotta stick together
Keep your head up, nothing lasts forever
Here's to the damned to the lost and forgotten
It's hard to get high when you're living on the bottom




 

1 comment:

  1. Love your last line, "remember it always comes down to connecting with others, holding out your hand to those with less privilege, and showing the darkness that it will not win if we simply keep going."

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