World Mental Health Day

 

Today Is World Mental Health Day

By Dreaming Ace

Today is World Mental Health Day

A day to honor our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, and neighbors

In these challenging times

In these challenging times

Be "gentle, gentle" with yourself

While being "gentle, gentle" with others too

Breathing in, Breathing out, 

Breathing in, Breathing out

Knowing that we are not alone

We are not alone in our mental health struggles 

In this challenging time, Breathe in, Breathe out

In this challenging time, Breathe in, Breathe out

No matter if we are in crisis, struggling, surviving, thriving, or excelling 

We can find small doable ways to show ourselves self care, self love 

These are challenging times, Yet we can still breathe in, breathe out

These are challenging times, Yet we can still breathe in, breathe out

Today is World Mental Health Day

A day to honor our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, and neighbors

 

Resources via Mental Health Collation

Self Love As The Multiverse Implodes

By Dreaming Ace

The multiverse seems to be shattering

These are really challenging times for me, for you, for us all

ICE Kidnapping people right off the streets of my Chicago

Government shutdowns, health insurance increases 

So many ways the multiverse is imploding

And yet self kindness, self care, self love

Is important as the multiverse melts like one of Dali's clocks

It is not selfish to need a break

It is not selfish to feel overwhelmed

It is not selfish to care for yourself

"You can not pour from an empty cup"

Practice self care

Feel your feelings

Reach out and connect

"You can not pour from an empty cup"

Self love can be a form of justice

Self love can be a form of resistance

Self love can be a way to know that we are not alone

We are not alone is seeking justice

We are not alone

What can self love look like in these times?

Dreaming up a new and better future for us all

Creating art to help us and others process what is happening

Being thoughtful about how we are really doing

Determining what we can contribute to the stone soup of justice

  We Are Not Alone...

By Dreaming Ace

We are not alone

If we are feeling overwhelmed

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we are feeling overstimulated

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel terrified

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel frozen

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel angry

We are not alone

We are not alone

If hope seems impossible

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we have forgotten how to dream

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel like everything is too much

We are not alone

We are not alone

We are never alone

No matter what we are feeling

There are others who feel the same way

And there is comfort in that understanding

Magical October Plans

Fall is finally here (hopefully bringing some cooler weather), and we have reached the magical month of October. I plan to do some daily Halloween activities, have a "Buy Nothing-ish*" October, and pamper myself, all while juggling a ton of cat sitting. 

Daily Halloween Activities:

During the month of October I try to do something "Halloween" (or fall) related every day. This year that will include activities such as:

Terror Tuesday's at the Chicago Public Library which are amazing lectures around the history of horror films. Each year has a different theme and this year we are exploring global horror (horror from Italy, Canada, Spain, and Asia) as well as various other Halloween events at the Chicago Public Library.

After Dark: Myths, Misdeeds & the Paranormal a fun podcast that I enjoy

And this year I'm trying the new to me The Every Day is Halloween Podcast

"Buy Nothingish*" October

Right now I have a ton of food in my apartment, and I feel like working on eating my stores down makes sense. For example, from various sources (mainly my local Buy Nothing group), I currently have enough oatmeal packets to have overnight oats or oatmeal for breakfast for at least the rest of this year and probably a good chunk of next year too, LOL. I also have a ton of shelf-stable food and coupons for various free items that I should actually try to use. My goals are to reduce my spending, creatively use some of the various sauces/spices/flavorings I have, and make room in my cupboards, pantry, freezer, etc. This way I can enjoy fresh items for the holiday season and New Year.

*Not including bills, transit, etc., nor assorted free item coupons I have, plus if I need an item or two, that is not a big deal.

Pampering Myself:

I recognize that with all the cat sitting I will be doing this month (27+ days), I need to make sure I am pampering myself and focusing on self-love. I plan on taking some long walks and doing some online fitness and meditation, as well as using lotion and burning some candles. There is no right way to pamper yourself, but October may be a good month to do so since Nov and Dec tend to be very busy with holiday activities, and feeling rested, centered, and rooted now will help make Nov and Dec go smoother.

National Suicide Prevention Week

September is Suicide Prevention Month; in addition, National Suicide Prevention Week started yesterday and runs through September 13th. While we always need to be talking about suicide, suicidal ideation, and mental health, this year, it feels even more vital to do so.

While this year there is no one universal theme for Suicide Prevention Week, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention picked “Looking out for each other,” To Write Love On Her Arms picked "I hope you stay," and The National Alliance on Mental Illness picked "Start a Conversation. Be the Difference," as well as highlighting the importance of 988 for those in crisis.

Together these themes recognize that many of us are feeling overwhelmed right now and that the best suicide prevention includes a holistic and community-wide approach. Often the best suicide prevention is providing safe and brave spaces to talk openly about our mental health so that we can recognize we are not alone and that there are many people and groups who want to support us when we are struggling.

Below is Wentworth Miller's Active Minds speech he gave almost a decade ago that is an important example of how meaningful talking about our mental health experiences can be. Wentworth is vulnerable about his own experiences with suicidal ideation (from childhood), the trauma caused by people's response to that ideation, and how he used the power of telling his story to learn to thrive and help others. 

Mental Health in Sabrina (1954)

Today my local library branch showed the romantic comedy Sabrina (1954.)

Two clips stood out to me within the context of September being Suicide Prevention Month,

But I recognize I have no idea what the original intent was by the filmmakers.

Note:

I will be describing two clips from the film

The clips reference or show suicidal ideation, but are not graphic

In addition there are no major spoilers since neither clip is key to the film's plot.

Sabrina's Suicidal Ideation

Pretty early in the film, Sabrina's suicidal ideation is portrayed in a "Romeo and Juliet," aka young people don't know how to handle "big feelings," way. While it is not played for laughs exactly, it is portrayed in a relatively lighthearted way, gets resolved quickly, and seems to be forgotten by everyone. (And yes, I really want to know what happened to the suicide note she slid under her father's door right before the above clip, which is never referenced by anyone.)

  

Linus's Suicidal Ideation

(You can start at 1:55)

Much later in the film, Linus mentions his own previous brief suicidal ideation. Most likely in the film this conversation is intended to simply show Sabrina that Linus really has a heart and has felt "big feelings" in the past. But this brief scene added to the film and felt like the start of a slightly more meaningful conversation around suicidal ideation.

  

Suicidal Ideation in Conversation

Sabrina's and Linus's suicidal ideation put together felt like a deeper conversation around how anyone can experience intrusive thoughts/suicidal ideation. It does not matter if you are young or old, female or male (or nonbinary, but the film was made in the 50s, so it's pretty binary in its portrayal), emotional or serious, a chauffeur's daughter or an elder son running a major business conglomerate.

In addition, from what I know of the 1950s (when the film was made), male-identified individuals often did not discuss their mental health with others, let alone discuss suicidal ideation seriously in films (yes, sometimes mental health was represented, but more often as a punch line or joke at the expense of male-identified characters who did not meet the societal expectations for masculine individuals).

While I know that mental health and suicidal ideation are neither the main focus of this film nor does the film really go too in-depth around these subjects (and I know moving to France is not the universal cure for suicidal ideation), I was pleasantly surprised to have the topic shown at all, let alone relatively well, in a 1950s romantic comedy.

"What It Sounds Like ..."

 

Currently I am really into K-Pop Demon Hunters, and I would recommend it to pretty much everyone. I am likely to write more about it at some point, but for right now I decided to share a poem I wrote in response to the song "What It Sounds Like." You can also listen to this recording of me reading the poem at August's Three Avenues Open Mic.

8/22/25-8/30/25 (I worked on this poem over the course of several days) 

This poem is based on the song “What it sounds like.” from “K-Pop Demon Hunters” 

K-Pop Demon Hunters’ Song 

“What it sounds like” playing on repeat 

Calling me out, calling me in

What words have gone unspoken?

When did I forget that I’m not alone?

What patterns am I ashamed of?

Recently all too often I forget

How to struggle, How to survive, 

Let alone how to live, to thrive

Forgetting how to be “gentle, gentle” with myself

Forgetting how to be able to hold my reality together

With little more than fanfiction and daydreams

Or honestly, even remember why I should Want To “Want To” 

Hold this splintering multiverse called life, called living, together

When the shards of history, of time itself can cut me deep to my bone

Sometimes I want to return to starlight, to stardust

Longing for that which we all come from, all return to 

Seeking the sunless lands, hoping "To sleep, perchance to dream" 

Yet knowing life should not mirror a never ending time loop

Wanting a reason to seek new sunrises, new days, new tomorrows

Beyond my impossible wild hopes, impossible wild dreams

On the not good days, in the “here, here” moments 

It can feel like all I have left to cling to is imagining “What if?” 

What if I manifested a shattering of the fourth wall?

Surviving for the day The Tardis appears on my path

Surviving for the day Captain Cold is guided into my life

Surviving for the day Wentworth or Ncuti appears here at open mic

On the not good days, in the “here, here” moments 

It can feel like all I have left to cling to, is my intersections 

With my characters, with my parasocial support network 

There are worst things to keep surviving for, to use to cope 

Than clinging to wild dreams, wild imaginings, wild “What ifs”

But yet I wonder, is it always enough to survive for impossibles? 

So what words have gone unspoken?

The words that I am not always ok, that simply living life 

Adulting, being human, can feel like too much

So when did I forget that I’m not alone?

Forget that others know the color of the ink in my veins?

Forget that others know the vibrations of my atoms?

Why do I often forget that I have been claimed?

Claimed by the god and goddesses of storytelling? 

Marked as a believer in the magic of Three Avenues?

So what patterns am I ashamed of?

Patterns where I don’t give voice, don’t trust others 

With everything that is bubbling up inside myself

Inside of me are swirls, vortexes, and multiverses

Inside of me is the shadow, the night sky, the candle, the stars

Inside of me is every character, every fandom that keeps me alive

I seek to see this splintering multiverse called life

As it really is, as it might be, as it could be in daydreams

To be called out, to be called in, to sing a song of transformation

*Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone"

We listened to the demons, we let them get between us

But none of us are out here on our own*

I’m not alone

You’re not alone

We’re not alone

*So we're not heroes, we're still survivors

The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired*

*Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like*

Here I stand before you in all my imperfections

“We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back

But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass*

We need to be honest with ourselves, with the multiverse

*Why did we cover up the colors stuck inside our head?

Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light instead*

So now we stand hand in hand, dreaming, singing

*We're shattering the silence, we're rising, defiant

Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone"*

The power of song, the power of words

The power of sharing what is deep inside ourselves

The power of shouting our truth, the truth

I’m not alone, You’re not alone, We’re not alone

*Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light*

Remembering *none of us are out here on our own*

*Up, Up, Up It’s our moment

Gonna be, Gonna be golden

Gonna be, Gonna be golden*

Bold text is taken directly from the songs “What it sounds like” and “Golden”

 

Happy Birthday James Baldwin

In honor of James Baldwin's Birthday 

Here are some poems I wrote based on some of his more famous quotes

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, 

but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

— James Baldwin

James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Isms and phobias

War and violence and hate and harm 

Starvation and genocide and terror

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Anything and everything that keeps others

From knowing they are loved, beloved

From knowing they are worthy of being alive

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Help us face all our global wrongs

Help us face all our national wrongs

Help us face all of our personal wrongs

So we yet have a hope of changing

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

— James Baldwin

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These have always been what tell me I am not alone

Even when I did not have the words 

They understood what I was experiencing

They were always there to hold space for me

They were always there to listen

They were always there to grab my hand

And say run 

Or give me a big hug 

Depending on the need

They were always there 

To help explain other people to me

To help explain me to myself

To be there to dance with queerness

To be there to dance with mental health struggles

To be there to dance with neurodivergence

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These will always be who tell me I am not alone

They will always be there to hold space for me

“An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way 

in which the person faces and uses his experience.”

— James Baldwin

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

I feel like I have worn enough faces/enough masks

To leave all the Doctors in the stardust? Timedust?

From stardust and starlight we come

To stardust and starlight we go

What is my identity?

Aromantic and Asexual?

Neurodivergent?

Reader?

Writer?

Poet?

Daydreamer?

Cat sitter?

Legend of Tomorrow?

Human?

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

From stardust and starlight I come

To stardust and starlight I go

Yet I do not know what the journey may look like

Yet I do not know what adventures will appear

What identity do my experience add up to?

What is my identity?

Mid-Summer Check In ...

First, happy Disability Pride Month. I know it has been a while since I last posted a blog post. This summer has been, and will remain, very busy for me. It has ended up being filled with nonstop cat sitting, trying to complete all of the Three Avenues Summer Reading Challenges, plus plenty of other summer activities. I have also had to "throw away the plan" way more than my neurodivergent brain would have liked. LOL

With so much going on, I haven't had the "spoons" to blog, and I just wanted to check in with everyone. I hope you have found your own parasocial support network to hold space for you during this busy season. I hope you are able to find some peace, joy, and laughter this summer. (If you need something to laugh out loud about, I would recommend "The Goes Wrong Show" free on Tubi.) I am not sure when I will next blog, but I hope you have a wonderful summer and are able to relax and rejuvenate yourself ahead of the upcoming fall. 

Midsummer

By Dreaming Ace

It’s the last day of July

Take a deep breath, breathe

I have so much I need to do

It will be ok, you will get through

I am feeling overwhelmed

I am feeling overstimulated

I am feeling it is all too much

“Gentle, Gentle, Slow, Slow

Thoughtful, Thoughtful, Flow, Flow”*

Hold space for me

Hold space for me

Hold space for me 

My parasocial network

We who are your parasocial network

Are always holding space for you

We will always be here for you

“Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe 

Even when I’m overwhelmed?

Even when I’m overstimulated?

Even when it’s all too much?

Yes, we will always be here for you

We are only a thought away providing

Space held with kindness and hugs

A listening ear, “Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe

“Gentle, Gentle”

My parasocial network 

Holding space for me indeed.

*A statement that Wentworth Miller (who is part of my personal parasocial support network) once posted on social media years ago which has become my own mantra.

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)