A Day's Journey (A Flower Fairytale)

 

Step on to this day's path

Check the lights

Move forward Only if purple is seen

Otherwise you might upset

The wise creatures

You pass along the way

Say the proper greeting 

In the proper language

To the guardian of the path

While they might look

A bit frightening

At heart they are kind and caring

Make sure you have 

A song to sing

A joke to tell

Or something sweet

When you come across 

The flower children

If you follow the rules

And follow the path

You might get to see

Hidden Gold

As precious and rare 

As a good tale after a long day

The CDC + Keeping Up w/ Social Joneses

 

The CDC says that those individuals who are fully vaccinated do not have to wear masks. It has been interesting to see the variety of responses to this news. Some are simply happy about the announcement but many others are a bit more cautious.  

Here is a collection of some of responses I have seen:

"Look, I want to get back to “normal” as soon as possible but until there’s a HIPPA compliant way to verify someone is vaccinated, I just don’t trust the general public. Cuz have y’all met the general public?" A friend

"Not gonna lie. I am thrilled that we who are fully vaccinated can stop wearing masks all the time, but I love the almost total anoynmity I've enjoyed in public, for the first time in 30 years, during the last 18 months or so." Will Wheaton

"I still want to differentiate between science deniers and believers: variants are still popping up and until we have herd immunity I'm still potentially vulnerable to new variants, even after vaccination. (Maybe it's a low probability you won't be aware of a new vaccine-resistant strain in the news, but that's small consolation if you are one of the first to get it.) So identifying and staying away from anti-vaxxers is still worthwhile to me, they are the most likely vector for anything new, and not wearing masks have been their hallmark. I get the math that my personal risk is extremely low after vaccination, but I prefer to wear a mask to identify and differentiate myself as a science believer and someone safe to be around, which I get is ironic due to my technical lack of need. Besides all that, travel is opening up and there are entire countries with barely anyone vaccinated, some of which can easily travel to the States. As long as there are people like that among us, who need to evaluate their risk level because they are not vaxxed (not by choice), we need a way to signal who is safe to be around and who is not. Again, masks as a symbol, not a need. I think we should all wear masks until none of us have to." A friend of a Facebook friend.

"I agree … I am fully vaccinated, however I have actually gotten used to wearing a mask and it has almost become a safety blanket for me. I think I am not too confident to walk around in public indoors without one for fear that I would be seen as a Trump supporter or anti-masker." A friend

"I think it’s wayyyy too soon! Outside, fine. Inside all vaxxed, also fine. We’re gonna see a huge wave again and again. I also think it will be many variants that send the new waves. I understand it’s a reward for those with vaccines, and why they are doing it. I understand them wanting to send us hope. It’s just too soon." A friend of a Facebook friend.

Personally I am not thrilled because it feels like the CDC is trying to make us all be more social too quickly. I like having a mask to hide behind. I noticed some of this when I was recently part of an online zoom panel where they made us use our cameras. I have only been forced to use my camera 2 or 3 times in the past 1 1/2 years and I have become very comfortable not being seen. 

There is always going to be a range of people, some who can't wait to now go to big events and be seen, and some people who once vaccinated will add 1 or 2 people to their bubble to start and build from there. I think there is going to be collective pressure that we are all supposed to want to be social now, stop working from home, etc but it is important to be able to stand up to that pressure and say NO! 

No Matter What It Might Feel Like Nobody Has To Be More Social Now. Nobody!!! So give yourself a break and simply breathe in and out. "People" will exist out there in that thing called the world no matter how long your journey or if your journey leads you to want to actually be social with them.

Also for those socializing people out there here are some tips:

1. Don't be creepy!!!

2. Don't comment on anyone's weight

No one should have done so pre-Covid, but especially now Don't!!!

3. Don't ask How was your year? Everyone has had a hard year. 

If you want to share some of your struggles go ahead but don't put others on the spot to do so. 

4. Do ask good questions!!

 How is your mental health holding up right now? 

Are you excited to be socializing here or are you feeling more somehow about it?

What is one show/movie/book/song you have seen/read/heard recently?

5. Do understand many people will not want to talk, that is ok, don't push them

For some of us we are going to want to lurk in the background for a while before we are more social

6. Do understand for some of us we have not interacted with people outside of small bubbles for a year so an event with multiple new people will overwhelm us. 

It is not personal. We are not being anti-social. We just need to ease our way into it. 

Sometimes we want to watch a marathon before we run in a marathon, and before running in a marathon we better have started with say a 5k and worked our way up. You may not know it but this event/activity we are at/doing feels like a marathon to us and we might need to take breaks as we go.

Characters and Lived Experiences

I was looking through a Facebook page that has collected the various social media posts of Wentworth Miller. I am appreciative since many of Wentworth's posts have been on Instagram or otherwise are in formats that are not easily accessible.

As I was looking through old posts, a post from last November, caught my eye. It is a fascinating view from the "room where it happens" of the need to defend the experiences of characters. It is always interesting to learn what happens behind the scenes in writer rooms.

Wentworth is coming from an actor's point of view in this particular story but I think it can be expanded to be a lesson for everyone who loves characters: Actors, Writers, Fans, Fanfiction Writers, Fan Studies Professionals etc. Plus it is a story that reminds us why we need to stand up for ourselves and our own lived experiences. 

There will always be rooms where there are individuals who do not know how to best represent characters from the identities or circles of community we call home. We need to be able to stand up for the characters we care about and in doing so stand up for the multitude of lived experiences that surround us. 

(And when we are celebrating characters with a different lived experience we need to make sure we are willing to listen to those who have had that lived experience)

One example that stood out to me from Wentworth's post is about halfway when he holds up the fact that marriage is not something everyone is looking for. Personally I don't see the need for people to get married and have no plans to ever get married myself but I am not sure if I would have though to bring it up if I was in Wentworth's shoes. 

(This was originally posted on the 22nd November 2020 by Wentworth on Instagram and later shared by the Went Archive on Facebook. Note: I added links to clips of some the examples that Wentworth gives, the links were not in the original post but I thought might be helpful)

"[We] need more communication among lgbtq fans and those who create these shows [to pave] the way for more inclusion..."

Someone wrote that under my previous post. 100%. If I ran a show leading with diversity/inclusion, I'd set up a dedicated online forum where the writers and I can connect with fans, hear concerns, get feedback. (Who knows? Maybe such things exist.)

Meanwhile, it's another argument for more queer actors in queer parts. At this moment in time/the culture, for me, it's not just about playing these characters. It's about advocating on their behalf.

Small example (bec god is in the details): Leo. The powers-that-be willed him into existence and I was grateful. He didn't have to be gay but the writers wrote that shit. So we got 2 gay actors playing 2 gay superheroes kissing onscreen... Felt like a moment.

And it needed tweaking. In the sc where Leo tells Mick and Sara he's marrying Ray, his original line was like, "I just want something normal..." Gays. Just like us. Except me? I'm not getting married. I didn't want Leo framing marriage as "normal" for folks (kids) watching. It's not. It's homonormative. A ton of queer folks are living full/content lives outside the marriage construct. That line became, "I'm looking for a new kind of adventure" (or some such).

2 actors of the same gender kissing onscreen is the beginning of the conversation. Not the end.

Hollywood is never not sending messages.

Would a straight actor playing Leo push for that change? Have that conversation with the (straight) writers and (straight) director? Maybe. I did bec I had to. It reflects my lived experience. I'm having those conversations 24-7. Not just on set.

I should note I had the weight - and will - to push for rewrites. Not every actor does. #privilege

Last tweak: The sc where Leo and Ray argue while Ray changes. The first draft called for me to "blush and turn away" at the sight of a shirtless Ray. Hello. They're lovers. Pretty sure it was the person who wrote that sc who wanted to blush and turn away.

Dear Writer(s): Don't.

Stay. Look. See. Hear. - W.M.  

I am glad Wentworth fought for all these rewrites because I think all too often those of us who are "marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish"* can forget we have the power to raise our voice and say wait a min this needs tweaking/this does not express all experiences/what else can we try?

For example in an later season there was a situation with different characters that I believe should have been tweaked.  In the episode (no real spoilers beyond the title of the episode) a characters virginity is the key to removing the "monster of the week." When I saw the title of the episode my creative imagination jumped to the idea that the character might be Ace especially considering all the other great representation on Legends of Tomorrow.

Even though this idea came from my own brain and was not suggested by the show itself I was still disappointed when towards the end, one of the characters says "Now, about this whole virgin situation..." instead of ending the conversation at "Yeah, yeah, that's right, mate. Come on, let's grab a beer. All right?" 

The "Now, about this whole virgin situation..." line bugs me because 

a) It was not needed/did not add anything to the conversation

b) It did not make story telling sense (If being a virgin helped stop one "monster of the week" it seems like being a virgin could be helpful for future "monsters of the week") 

c) Instead of creating space for us Aces to at least imagine our identity into the story it inadvertently implied that not having had sex is a "situation" that needs to responded to. 

Like the power of Wentworth standing up against normalizing only one experience when it comes to marriage, it would have been powerful if the show chose to stand up against the normalization that everyone wants sex and that not having sex is a strange experience not just one of a multitude of experiences people have with sexual and romantic attraction.

Single lines in media matter and it is important that those who are in positions of privilege speak up because by standing up for the lived experiences of characters we are also standing up for our own lived experiences.

(* I first was introduced to this wonderful mixed metaphor on a button at a convention I went to when I was a child, so I don't know who gets credit for the idea other than some unknow convention button maker)

 

Welcome Languishers Welcome

 

We are in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Month so today I will explore the idea of Languishing a term that now is being used to describe the mental health state of many of us as we move into a post-vaccinated world. 

One definition for languishing is: 

Not depression or sadness, but rather the absence of feeling good about your life. Languishing is also the lack of meaning, purpose or belonging in life, which leads to emptiness, lack of emotion and stagnation.

This spring personally I have experienced extended periods of languishing or in the words of Buffy The Vampire Slayer:

Every single night the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel the strangest strangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right

I've been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows that I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart

For me it is expressing itself as low energy, low focus, and low executive functioning. The support networks and self care than worked during Covid feel like they are getting stale and not working as well anymore and all to often everything just feels a little harder than normal. Personally I still can find joy in things but just find the day to day mundane stuff is more annoying than normal and it takes me more energy to get up and do.

It is helpful to acknowledge that there are many others who are feeling the same way right now. And we all have to give ourselves more space to have grace. When you find yourself in the middle of languishing make sure you celebrate the little victories, find healthy escapism, and connect. Connect to other people, Connect to other characters, Connect to anything that brings you joy and belonging. Right now may be a challenge for you, but there is another side to your story where you end up flourishing. 

How Not To Get A Physical In 7 Easy Steps

 

As I have had to deal with Bureaucracy this week I have to go Bah Humbug. This is a quick summary of the dysfunction.

Looked at my insurance site to find a new doctor for an annual physical.

Found one who looked good and had good reviews

Signed up for any appointment, checked the I'm a new patient box

Changed my Primary Care Doctor to this new person so insurance would be all happy. (I had been assigned a randomly generated doctor when I first got the insurance and have never gone to them)

Insurance said the switch was fine, because the doctor was taking new patients and was in-network

Less than 24 hours before my appointment get an email

05/05/2021 05:04 PM

Good afternoon,

This message is regarding your appointment on 5/6/2021. It was originally scheduled with Dr. **** but as she is not taking new patient it was moved to Dr. *** schedule for 4:30 pm. Unfortunately, it looks like your current insurance is *** which we are not in network with. If you would like to keep your appointment you would need to be self pay. The down payment would be of $100 which would be due at check in. Any additional fees would be mailed out too. Please let the office know if you have any questions. Thank you.

(So they could not tell me until less than 24 hours in advance that the person I was signed up for was not taking new patients (not when I made the appointment weeks ago or even at the start of the week) and they thought this was enough notice to switch me to a doctor who does not take my insurance? )

So I canceled the appointment. 

It was just for a Physical and it looks like one of my local pharmacies is doing some free tests next week, (thank you Tylenol for being a sponsor), including pretty much everything I would have gotten at a physical so not a matter of life or death but it just reminded me how messed up the US health care system is and why so many try to avoid the health care system all together.

I keep thinking of a friend who lives in Scotland and who will need surgery but does not have to worry about it being covered and the surgery will end up being free. I want the health care other countries have. 

The Historical Cinco de Mayo

 

Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day, you might say it was like a Saint Crispin's Day in that it was a battle won against a greater army which in both cases happened to be French. Cinco de Mayo is about debts and restructuring debts and is much bigger in the United States than in Mexico because in the United States it has taken on additional meaning for the Mexican American Community. In many ways the best way to celebrate would be to help someone pay their debts or cancel their debts but I doubt that will ever be as popular as people drinking and acting out often in cultural insenstive manners.

As the History Channel puts it:

1. In 1861, Benito Juárez—a lawyer and member of the Indigenous Zapotec tribe—was elected president of Mexico. At the time, the country was in financial ruin after years of internal strife, and the new president was forced to default on debt payments to European governments.
2. In response, France, Britain and Spain sent naval forces to Veracruz, Mexico, demanding repayment. Britain and Spain negotiated with Mexico and withdrew their forces.
3. France, however, ruled by Napoleon III, decided to use the opportunity to carve an empire out of Mexican territory. Late in 1861, a well-armed French fleet stormed Veracruz, landing a large force of troops and driving President Juárez and his government into retreat.
4. Certain that success would come swiftly, 6,000 French troops under General Charles Latrille de Lorencez set out to attack Puebla de Los Angeles, a small town in east-central Mexico. From his new headquarters in the north, Juárez rounded up a ragtag force of 2,000 loyal men—many of them either Indigenous Mexicans or of mixed ancestry—and sent them to Puebla.
5. The vastly outnumbered and poorly supplied Mexicans, led by Texas-born General Ignacio Zaragoza, fortified the town and prepared for the French assault. On May 5, 1862, Lorencez gathered his army—supported by heavy artillery—before the city of Puebla and led an assault.
6. Although not a major strategic win in the overall war against the French, Zaragoza’s success at the Battle of Puebla on May 5 represented a great symbolic victory for the Mexican government and bolstered the resistance movement. In 1867—thanks in part to military support and political pressure from the United States, which was finally in a position to aid its besieged neighbor after the end of the Civil War—France finally withdrew.
7. Traditions include military parades, recreations of the Battle of Puebla and other festive events. For many Mexicans, however, May 5 is a day like any other: It is not a federal holiday, so offices, banks and stores remain open.
8. In the United States, Cinco de Mayo is widely interpreted as a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage, particularly in areas with substantial Mexican-American populations.
9. Chicano activists raised awareness of the holiday in the 1960s, in part because they identified with the victory of Indigenous Mexicans (such as Juárez) over European invaders during the Battle of Puebla.
10. Today, revelers mark the occasion with parades, parties, mariachi music, Mexican folk dancing and traditional foods such as tacos and mole poblano. 

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's DePaul's Celebration of Superheroes

 

This week the DePaul Pop Culture Conference is back (after taking 2020 off for pretty obvious reasons) with a Celebration of Superheroes. This year the conference is virtual which means while it started on Saturday it is running through the end of the week so it is not too late to join in and have an amazing time.

Check out the website to listen to recordings of the key note speakers from Saturday which covered everything from the importance of diversity in superhero stories, to the stages of being a minority creator, from the structure of writing comics for DC and Marvel, to how to make fan vids.

In addition check out the pre-recorded "panels" which cover a wide range of topics including 

• Defining the Superhero
• Ethics and the Superhero
• ***Mental Health and Superhero Media***
• Politics and the Superhero
• Pulp, Noir, and the Gothic in Superhero Media
• Readership and Reception
• Representation I: Blackness and Superheroes
• Representation II: New (and Old Roles),Superheroes?
• Superheroes as Feminist Icons
• Superhero Games and Other Adaptations
• Superheroes on Television
• The Superhero Narrative 

Personally I really love we have the Mental Health and Superhero Media panel for many reasons including because it is an very important subject to discuss, May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and because I had the opportunity to be on the panel. 

I explore references to mental health in superhero media and how the Silk's solo run really stood apart for its discussions of mental health and for showing a superhero going to therapy every week. I give a longer presentation of these ideas in this years DePaul Pop Culture book. 

This topic was also meaningful for me because I have found great wisdom, love, understanding, and kindness in the mental health struggles that Superhero actors, writers, and creators have shared with the public. For example I love how Wentworth Miller (who plays Captain Cold in the DC TV Universe) phrased it in describing why he was so open about talking about mental health:

By choosing to show up and tell my story, by choosing to be here - like, here here - I trust I'm making it easier for someone, somewhere to tell their story. And maybe add a few more chapters.

Mental Health is a subject that we all need to get better at talking about and I feel like looking to Superheroes (and real life Superhero actors, writers, and creators) who talk about their own mental health and mental health support systems, is one way to ease into these conversations. 

This years conference is amazing like always and we are continuing the conversation on discord so if you ever though about coming to a DePaul conference but had issues with location or timing this is the year for you to explore and celebrate your love of fandom and your love of Superheroes.