Advent Week 1: Hope

It is the first week of advent. A time when many of us focus on the idea of Hope. (And this year it is also Hanukkah so a doubling of light, hope, and miracles which is good because I think we all need more light, hope, and miracles right now) This has been a year where many of us have faced challenges and some of us are wondering where hope might be found. 

As a friend of mine pointed out the phrase "it will get better" can be toxic because we do not know if it will get better but we can still have hope. We can have hope even if all feels lost or if we have no idea if it will ever get better. 

Hope is saying let's see to what may come.

Let's see what happens next, let's see where we can shine some light, let's see where we can find light for ourselves, let's us dream dreams, let's make plans (even if we have to throw them away later), let's spend time on our selves, let's spend time connecting with others …

In this season of hope consider what you are hoping for and ponder ways to make tiny steps of progress on those hopes. We have just about a month to go in 2021 which means we can prep for the new year and help set us up for success. Sometimes simply making a list of smart goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and anchored within a Time Frame) can make all the difference.

I hope you have a wonderful season of hope

Being Thankful: What We Already Have

 

Today is the day after Thanksgiving. This year I am flipping this day around and using it to focus on simplifying and organizing instead of buying a ton more "stuff". 

As I get a million and one "Black Friday" emails I am using it as an opportunity to unsubscribe from lists that I forgot I was on or from lists that no longer bring me joy. Which will help simplify my inbox going forward.

I am "thrifting" within my own apartment. This came to be because I was looking for a few items at a thrift store earlier in the week, did not find any, but realized I had more in those categories than I thought at home. 

So over the course of this weekend I am taking out all my clothing and switching summer items for winter items, seeing what I have in many of these categories, and seeing what no longer serves and I can donate both helping others and organizing my own spaces. 

Note: I have a small space and a manageable amount of stuff, if you have lots of stuff you don't have to take it all out at once LOL. Also this is part of a planned deep clean of my room for the new year which is also giving me more motivation to go a bit deeper than normal.

I am looking at what food I have post Thanksgiving and what new creations I can make with that food. Also I am thinking about the various holiday baking I want to do and what supplies I will need to pick up for those yummy projects

I am doing an inventory of the holiday stuff I have so I can enjoy holiday candles, or lotions, or decorations this holiday season. I have many items to make a festive season which means I don't need to buy a lot of stuff. 

So while "Black Friday" is often a day filled with shopping this year I am using it to organize my spaces and be grateful for the items I already have available to me. This feels like a meaningful way to launch the start of the Holiday season

Being Thankful: For Connections

 

Thanksgiving is a time that we are reminded to be grateful. It is also a time that there is an assumption that we are all grateful for family and friends. Now some of us are lucky and have wonderful and loving families but too many others have family dynamics which are complex and complicated to say the least. This is why being grateful for our connections more broadly can be helpful. 

Just a sampling of these connections might include:

• Artists of works we connect with
• Authors of stories we connect with
• Board game playing groups we have joined
• Characters we are in relationship with
• Fandoms we are part of
• Friends
• Found Family
• Gods/Goddess/Magical beings
• Local Librarians
• Mother Earth/Nature
• Pen pals
• Pets in our lives
• Postmen/Postwomen
• Religious Communities we are part of
• Social clubs we are part of
• Sports teams we are part of
• Work communities we are part of

So no matter who you are my hope is you have a myriad of different connections to be Thankful for. And always remember the most important connection: Your connection to yourself. It does not matter if you are all alone, surrounded my millions, feel disconnected, feel connected, you can always be thankful for being your own best friend.

Being Thankful: For Ourselves

 

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

The atoms and stardust that make us up

The cells of our our bodies that keep us alive

The dreams and stories that our minds create

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

Our Tenacity

Our Adaptability

Our Courage

This is a week to focus on being thankful.

Being thankful for

All that which we overcame

All that which will struggle with

All the ways we have been superheroes

This is the start of Thanksgiving week. It can be easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of the holidays and forget we are all doing our best no matter what we might be experiencing. 

This is a great week to do a few extra self care practices.  

1. We might have a relaxing cup of tea
2. We might spend time outside in the sun
3. We might use lotion
4. We might listen to some calming music
5. We might be creative: write, draw, color, or paint
6. We might bake ourselves something yummy
7. We might take a bath
8. We might burn candles or incense
9. We might give ourselves a massage
10. We might meditate or do some yoga

The first step towards a good Thanksgiving is to make sure that we are thankful for being our amazing and wonderful selves. Often being thankful ends up outward focused and while there are lots of things outside of ourselves that we can be thankful for, it is important that we are thankful for ourselves too.  

We will always spend the most time with ourselves so it is important that we treat ourselves like a close friend. Among the busyness of this upcoming week take a few moments to reconnect with yourself. Reconnecting with yourself/being kind to yourself/being your own best friend, is always something to be thankful for, this season and all year round. 

Another Injustice ...

 Today another verdict came back

Another time when injustice occurred

If you are a vigilante

And jump the fence into the middle of a conflict

Then say you are attacked

It is not the others fault

It is yours

For far too many

When people protest 

Protest injustice

Protest broken systems

Protest being told

Over and over again that they are unworthy

The response of others is to bring guns and yell self defense

Bringing guns to silence voices?

Bringing guns to silence bodies?

Bringing guns to silence justice?

Don't, Please Don't, Please Please Don't

Don't bring guns to silence voices!!

Don't bring guns to silence bodies!!

Don't bring guns to silence justice!!

I 

I don't

I don't know

I don't know what

I don't know what more

I don't know what more I

I don't know what more I can

I don't know what more I can say

I don't know what more I can say or

I don't know what more I can say or do

In this particular moment

I don't know what more I can say or do

I don't know what more I can say or

I don't know what more I can say

I don't know what more I can

I don't know what more I

I don't know what more

I don't know what

I don't know

I don't

I

Teaching About Mental Health Is Vital !!!

Recently NBC news reported that there is a growing number of parents who do not want mental health taught in the classroom.  Let that sink in! A growing number of parents who don't seem to care that: 

1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year

50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-34

(https://www.nami.org/mhstats)

That the Trevor Project, a nonprofit focused on suicide prevention among LGBTQ youth, 

Estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth seriously consider suicide per year.

And in that past few months there have been several news articles about 

The impact of COVID on the mental health of kids as young as 8 years old.

  https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/28/well/mind/mental-health-kids-suicide.html

Now I don't think the protesting parents actually want their children to suffer from mental illness or to feel all alone in the world. Don't actually want their children to feel like they have no reason to keep going, no reason to be alive. I think these parents simply are in denial that so many children are suffering and need support. That their child might be suffering. 

For those who struggle with their mental health, putting up a mask of being "fine" is common. This means that parents can't tell if their child is suffering just from appearances. Also in some cases children don't have the language to describe what they are experiencing unless they are given that language in school. 

This reminds me of an author who wrote a character who had panic attacks, and then was contacted by a older adult who was like I have experienced what that character experiences all my life but I thought I was all alone. The author explained the character was having panic attacks and told the reader to talk with their healthcare professional. 

This was an adult reader which means it is even more likely that a child would not know what they were experiencing. I also know of too many antidotal examples of celebrities who struggled attempted suicide in their youth because they did not see a way out. 

Actors such as Rupert Graves (Lestrade in Sherlock) who attempted suicide at age 15 because of a combo of depression and body image issue. Or my Wentworth Miller (Captain Cold) who suffered from depression, attempted suicide at age 15, did not tell anyone, and later attempted again as a freshman in collage. 

I know so many people who have struggled with mental health in the past, or are currently struggling with their mental health so talking about mental health is personal. I know friends who suffer from depression, I know friends who struggle with anxiety, and I know friends who long before I ever knew them had periods of suicidal ideation. I also know I have had period of my life that were much harder than they needed to be because I was unable or unwilling to reach out and ask for help.

We all need to talk about mental health. We all need access to mental health resources. We all need to know that we are not alone and that there are people who are willing to stand by our sides no matter what we are experiencing. And this needs to start with children in schools. 

Children need to know what to do when their thoughts are to loud, or when they feel like hurting themselves. If children are given information around mental health they can advocate for themselves and be more likely to survive to become amazing and wonderful adults. Why would anyone not want this for their children? 

Moments To Relax This Season

This is an important reminder at this time of year. There is something about the holidays that pushes us to try to be always at our best and create unrealistic expectations about what the holidays should or could look like. So many of us understand what "holiday stress" means and what it looks like for us. It might be busy end of year work schedules, it might be feeling like we have to get to a hundred events, it might be the stress (both happy stress and complicated stress) of seeing family. 

This past Saturday I want to a self care/art event hosted by Lighthouse Foundation. It was fun to relax and do a few paintings and make some essential oil aromatherapy spray. It was a fun break and a fun prep as we move into a busy holiday season. Now you might not be into art or want to work with essential oils but you should think about what self care will look like for you this season. It is important that we all take a moment to take a deep breath.

As the actor Wentworth Miller once said:

Just moments where I am doing what I need to do to make sure that I vibrate at the right frequency that might look like burning some sage, that might look like dinner out with a friend, that might look like a bath with Epsom salts – just the things that I need to do for myself that are small, doable, affordable, that nourish me. I think often we neglect ourselves, we focus on things in the external, but there’s a lot here (gestures towards his chest) that needs attention. (Wentworth Miller -- Oxford Union 2016)

Or in the wise words of Captain Cold knowing when we need to throw away the plans we have so we can respond to what is happening around us and within us.

 

Being Human, Being Alive

And you won’t be doing it alone.

Now, listen, We are all just trying to figure out this being human thing together.

It’s not always going to be easy.

And you know sometimes you’ll feel like you’re out of your mind

Or that the darkness is too much to bear.

But it’s worth fighting the darkness to discover who you really are.

Yes. And not just for yourself.

So you can create a better world for everyone.

Now, you’re gonna make some mistakes.

There’s no formula to guide the way.

No destiny to surrender to.

It’s not about being perfect.

It’s about doing what you know is right.

And having a hell of a good time doing it.

That’s what it means to be alive.

And to be a Legend.

Welcome to the team.

DC's Legends of Tomorrow - WVRDR_ERROR_100

As a Birthday treat to myself, I watched WVRDR_ERROR_100 even though me and my roommate are still about a season behind watching Legends Of Tomorrow. Overall it was a great episode. I really was moved by the above quote at the end of the episode (each line was said by a different character and each line was a great fit for them adding even more meaning.)

This quote seemed like it was written for me as I start a new trip around the sun, and soon celebrate a New Year. No matter where you are on the journey called life, no matter if you think you might have broken the timeline once again, no matter if you are fighting demons, or aliens, or men on an ego trip, no matter if you are singing karaoke, You Are Not Alone. And together we who are an adorable band of misfits will change history, change time, change everything.

Neighborhood Thanksgiving Decorations

I have been finding a wide range of Thanksgiving Decorations on my daily walks. I knew people decorated for Halloween and then for Christmas but I have seen more Thanksgiving decorations than in years past. I thought I would share with you all. Hope you enjoy.

Time Changes and New Possibilities

 

This weekend we set our clocks back which means the sun come out earlier (and goes to bed earlier too.) This also means we are in the middle of new routines and new schedules. Right now is a great time to take a breath and pause before we move head long into a busy holiday season. 

Pause And Remember: You Are Thankful Enough

Sometimes during this season repeated reframes of "Be Thankful" can be stressful if we are facing challenges in our lives or if we are super busy with projects. Know that you are thankful enough, and you don't have to be thankful every moment of every day. Remember you can be thankful and still be struggling it is not an if/or situation. Give yourself grace if your mental, physical, or spiritual health is a little bumpy after the past two years.

Pause And Remember: Your Emotions Are Valid

The holidays can bring up a whole host of emotions, both positive and negative. Sometimes we can feel like we are "supposed" to feel one way or another but in reality all emotions (especially emotions around the holidays) can be very complex. Honor your emotions what ever they are. It is ok to be stressed or sad or angry or happy or tired but if we don't pay attention our emotions can make us bitter Scrooges. 

Pause And Remember: The Holidays Are Not The Be All End All

Many of us look forward to the upcoming holidays but sometimes we build them up to a point where we lose some of the joy. The holidays do not have to be prefect, will never be perfect, because that is life. So take in dinner if cooking is too hard or hang out virtually if everyone can't get together at the same time. 

We can even reschedule the holidays (I know shocking LOL) I have a friend with health issues who needed 2 months of Christmas celebrations so started Nov 1st to watch a Christmas Movie a day. I used to work somewhere where we would always have our staff holiday party in Feb or March because Nov and Dec were our busy months. The great thing about the upcoming holiday season is there are so many that we can choose from.

If the rest of this year is over flowing with busyness consider having an event in Jan or Feb when people have more free time and will appreciate a reason to party. We can allow the holidays to overflow and cover the whole year if we want to. We all know cookies and sweet treats taste yummy no matter what month it is.

LGBTQ+ Representation Good News

This past Tuesday was challenging but among all the new stories was the fact that next year America will have a record 1000+ out LGBTQ elected officials serving at the same time. That is good news that is worth celebrating. 

Non-Binary Elected Representation Will Increase Nationwide:

Xander Orenstein won a seat on the Allegheny County Magisterial District Court in Pennsylvania, becoming the first non-binary person elected to a judicial position in the United States.

Thu Nguyen won their race for Worcester City Council to become the first non-binary person ever elected in the state of Massachusetts.

Stanley Martin won their race for the Rochester City Council in New York to become the first non-binary person to serve in that body and Sarah Salem won reelection to the Poughkeepsie City Council, also in New York.

New York City Elects Most Out LGBTQ Councilmembers Ever

Crystal Hudson (District 35) and Kristin Richardson Jordan (District 9), who will be the first two Black out LGBTQ women elected to the council.

Lynn Schulman (District 29) and Tiffany Cabán (District 22), who will be the first out LGBTQ women elected to any public office from Queens.

Chi Ossé (District 36), who will be the youngest person ever elected to the council

Erik Bottcher (District 3), who will preserve LGBTQ representation in his district, an LGBTQ legacy seat that is home to the Stonewall Inn.

Non-Incumbent LGBTQ Candidates of Color Make History in City Council Races

Christopher Coburn: became the first Black out LGBTQ person elected in the state of Montana with his win for Bozeman City Council

Reggie Harris: became the first Black out gay man elected to the Cincinnati City Council

Darin Mano: became the first Asian American out LGBTQ person elected to the Salt Lake City Council

Stanley Martin: became the first non-binary person elected to the Rochester City Council and one of the first Black out LGBTQ people elected to the body

Gabriela Santiago-Romero: became the first out LGBTQ woman elected to the Detroit City Council and the first out LGBTQ Latinx person elected in Michigan

Dontae Payne: became the first Black man elected to the Olympia (WA) City Council

Alejandro Puy: became the first Latinx out LGBTQ person elected to the Salt Lake City Council; and
Alex Wan: restored LGBTQ Asian American representation to the Atlanta City Council.

Dion Manley Is First Trans Person Elected in Ohio, And Other School Board Wins

Dion Manley won his election for the Gahanna Jefferson School Board, making him the first trans person elected in all of Ohio.

Danica Roem Defeats Her Third Anti-Trans Opponent in Virginia

Honoring Days That Are "Days"

 

Honoring Days That Are "Days"

Honoring days that are "days"

When getting up and moving

Is simply a bit more challenging

Than it could be or might be otherwise

Honoring days that are "days"

Some days will go smoothly

Some days will be adventures

Some days will simply be 

Honoring days that are "days"

Sometimes is is about pushing forward

Sometimes is is about stepping back

Sometimes it is about simply sitting

Honoring days that are "days"

Today when nothing on my to-do list

Appeal at all to me I choose to go for a 

Walk and found wisdom written on a rock

Honoring days that are "days"

Be Happy

Be Awesome today

Be You

Honoring days that are "days"

So no matter what type of day

Your today is shaping up to be

You are not alone, never alone

Honoring days that are "days"

Remember you are beloved

Remember you are Loved

Remember you are amazing

Honoring days that are "days"

Be gentle on those around you

Be gentle on those far away

Be gentle on yourself every day

Honoring days that are "days"

Some days will go smoothly

Some days will be adventures

Some days will simply be 

Happy Month Of Thanks And Writing

 

Happy November 1st. 

This is a month where we start to put stuff away so we can be all cozy come winter. For some of us this involves cooking and then freezing various batches of food to fill our freezers with yumminess. For some this is a perfect month to spend thinking about and honoring those people and things we are thankful for. For some this means cleaning and organizing so come the busy holiday month of Dec we can feel calm and centered.

This is also a month where many people choose to do Nanowrimo: National Novel Writing Month. For some the focus is on completing the challenge to write 50,000 words over the course of the month. For others it is simply a push to put some focused time into writing knowing that each word is one more word than they would have normally written. There is no wrong way to do Nanowrimo and the point is to have fun.

No matter what you choose to do this season or this month I hope you find ways to feel warm and cozy, get to drink something warm (warm apple cider, Hot cocoa, tea ...), and feel good about yourself. Remember you are amazing, wonderful, beloved, and loved.