"Gentle, Gentle" + "Hell Yes" Holidays

 

We are in the middle of the holiday season, and I am so glad this Wentworth Miller quote once again came across my Instagram feed. Although I generally enjoy this time of year, I have always found it to be overstimulating and overwhelming, even when I didn't have the words to express it (for example, unlike most kids, I always wanted to sleep in on Christmas, believing that Santa could leave the gifts while I rested, as I was exhausted from a season filled with holiday activities).

We can experience a whole host of sometimes conflicting emotions during this time of year. Right now I am experiencing burnout from a year where all my normal patterns and routines were constantly being thrown away. And on top of that, the universe often felt like it was melting like a Salvador Dalí painting. I was starting to feel more stressed about the upcoming busy holiday season than I was feeling excited. 

So I have decided to have a "gentle, gentle" holiday season. For me this includes minimizing my end-of-year to-do list and being strategic with what activities I do. I cannot physically or mentally do every possible holiday activity occurring in Chicago this year. I am going to try to lean into "Hell Yes." "Hell Yes" is a book I traditionally read on Dec 31st every year to prep for the new year, but the premise is very short: if any activity is not a "Hell Yes," then it's a "Hell No"—no middle ground.

Now I also know I struggle to identify my "spoon"/energy levels at any given moment, but since I know I tend to overcommit, I plan on focusing on whether my plans sound reasonable. For example, tonight I am planning on going to an event for writers at the library even though I am exhausted from having to wake up early the last few days so I could cat-sit, but I don't plan on going to a random free concert at the library tomorrow. While holiday music is always fun, there are several other concerts coming up I can try for, and I know I need a day to rest and not have plans.

So no matter if you love the holidays or hold your breath during them because you find them to be overstimulating and stressful, consider having a "Gentle, Gentle," "Hell Yes" holiday season. Instead of focusing on everything you could do, focus on what you can say no to so you can rest and end up enjoying the holiday season more this year. 

Praising Parasocial Relationships ...

The Cambridge Dictionary's 2025 word of the year is "parasocial." Sadly, parasocial relationships are often considered somehow inherently "unhealthy" or "less than" non-parasocial relationships. Yes, parasocial relationships, just like any other type of relationship, can be toxic, but I find that my parasocial relationships provide me much-needed support and encouragement.

I have a parasocial support network made up of actors, characters, and even personifications of spaces (such as Three Avenues Bookshop), which helps me navigate the world when it otherwise is a bit overwhelming or overstimulating.

I recognize that the version of these individuals that I interact with within my parasocial support network is different from their real-life counterparts, and maybe that is the key distinction between a healthy and an unhealthy parasocial relationship: knowing which version of an individual you are interacting with.

My parasocial support network is available 24/7 to process a thought, feeling, or experience, and it is always there for me to bounce ideas off of or provide me wisdom. My parasocial network understands what support I need, whether that is help talking through something, giving me a big hug, or sitting quietly holding space for me to simply be.

Since the individuals who make up my parasocial support network live within my imagination, they have a deeper understanding of my experience than others do, even close friends and family. I do not have to worry about always having to be able to verbally articulate what I am experiencing because they simply understand.

So for me personally, my parasocial support network is a very healthy part of my life and provides me support and social connections when I don't have the "spoons"/"energy" to deal with real-life people.

30 Ways To Be Generous This November

 

This is a tough season; the days are getting shorter, the weather is getting colder, and many of us are facing skyrocketing healthcare premiums and loss of other benefits. Since all the challenges we face can paralyze me, personally I am intentionally focusing on being generous this November. Here are 30 ways you can be generous this month, as we all head into the busy holiday season.

• Donate money to a food pantry
• Donate unexpired food to a food pantry
• Volunteer at a food pantry
• Share old toys on a Buy Nothing Group
• Donate old toys to resale shops so parents can get holiday gifts for their kids
• Sort through any kids books you have, if they are in perfect shape donate to a toys for tots etc.
• Sort though your books if they are in good but not perfect shape donate to a little library, or towards a library book sale.
• Share household goods you don't use with a Buy Nothing Group
• Share coupons or deals you won't use with a Buy Nothing Group
• Donate new unopened care supplies to a Care Cubby
• Donate craft supplies 
• Buying from street vendors 
• Donating to a street vendor relief fund
• Donate extra winter hats, scarfs, gloves, unopened socks, unopened underwear 
• Donate clothes or coats you no longer wear or that kids have outgrown
• If you are part of a musical group talk to a local migrant, immigrant, women, homeless, senior centers etc. about coming to perform this season
• Write notes of encouragement to share with people you interact with friends, family, grocery store clerks, librarians, bus drivers, etc.
• Adopting a local family
• Choosing a family off a gift tree
• Donate money to a migrant center
• Donate items to a migrant center
• Volunteer at a migrant center
• Donate the item you never returned to the store
• Share on a Buy Nothing Group any old tech that works but you don't use
• Bake for friends or family or neighbors
• Contact someone you haven't chatted with in a while (call, text, email etc.)
• Support your local small businesses
• Buy gift cards, one free (fill in the item) coupons, etc. to share with those who are unhoused
• Volunteer your professional services
• Be kind to those around you, give everyone a little extra grace this season, know everyone is struggling right now

"Shop" Your Home: 9 DIY Holiday Ideas

It is not yet Halloween, but I know many of us are already planning ahead for the holiday season. And if you go by the displays in the stores, the holidays are already here. This has been a really challenging year, and if you can treat yourself with premade holiday sets, go ahead, but for those of us who can't afford to do so, one lovely alternative is to "shop" our homes for items we can set aside for an affordable and festive holiday season.

Donations:

I tend to do a lot of fall cleaning and organizing to get my spaces set for the New Year. As I sort categories of items, I am planning on putting the equivalent of one item per day aside to donate to various good causes or to simply give away. I will end up with a more manageable space, and others will get holiday treats.

Warm Beverages:

Many years ago during a post-holiday sale, I got a countdown to Christmas tea box. Now it is my tradition to refill the box each year with assorted tea I have. If you don't have a fancy box, you can still choose to mindfully sip the tea, coffee, or hot chocolate you do have.

Sweet Treats:

As I am going on my various Halloween adventures, I am going to set aside some of the candy I collect, so I have small sweet treats all holiday season. Knowing I get a couple random surprise pieces of candy each day is something I am looking forward to.

Craft Supplies:

If you are a crafter, you are likely to have lots of craft supplies you have forgotten about. You might color one page in a coloring book each day, do one craft kit per week, or just look at a different craft book each day for inspiration.

Seasonings:

I happen to have several unopened spices on my overflow shelf. I plan on grabbing one per day during the holiday season, both to have neat little surprises and so I have a better sense of what I have. 

Creative Cooking Projects:

I have a lot of shelf-stable staples from various places, including random items from my local Buy Nothing group, and my plan for this holiday season is to actually use some of those items in creative cooking projects.

Read/Listen/Watch:

We all can read one holiday story, listen to one holiday song or podcast, or watch one holiday special each day to feel festive.

Use Scented Items:

I have a number of scented items—candles, room sprays, air fresheners, etc.—that I plan on using throughout the holiday season because I should enjoy them now, not just save them for "someday."

Bath and Beauty Samples:

Over the years I have collected a number of bath and beauty samples, lotions, creams, etc., and since I find Nov and Dec tend to be very outward-focused and social, my plan is to use them in January when I can focus inwardly.

No Kings Protest October 18th

 

How can you make a difference right now?

Going to your nearest No Kings Protest Saturday

Find your local protest here https://www.nokings.org/#map

While going to a No Kings Protest is important, for some of us, it is just not possible to do so. 

You can still help even if you can't physically make it to the protest on Saturday. 

Here is a list of 33 other actions you could do to make a difference.

1. Sharing info about the No Kings Protest with others
2. Sharing with others why No Kings Protests are important to you
3. Sharing with friends and family what issues you care deeply about 
4. Attending a Know Your Rights Training
5. Make whistle kits to alert neighbors when ICE agents are nearby
6. Distribute Know Your Rights Cards to those who might need them
7. If you own a Little Library include know your rights cards and whistles
8. Joining Red Wine and Blue or sending letters through Vote Forward 
9. Supporting free speech/Supporting a free press
10. Sharing your own families immigration story with others
11. Documenting/Sharing photos or video of what is happening in your community
12. If you are a writer, writing poems, blog posts, letters, social media posts
13. If you are an visual artist, making art (e,g, Melting Democracy Ice Sculpture) 
14. If you are a singer or song writer, writing protest anthems
15. If you are a historian, helping put what is happening into context for others
16. Following Heather Cox Richardson on social media or subscribe for her daily letter
17. Keeping a journal about what is happening for future historians
18. Refreshing your basic Spanish language skills
19. Walking around in wonderfully ridiculous blow up costumes
20. Being out in your community (the more people the harder it is for ICE to disappear people)
21. Writing, calling, or emailing your elected officials
22. Keeping your elected officials accountable for their actions/votes
23. Attending community meetings and speaking up about what matters to you
24. Supporting independent journalism
25. Donating money, time, or material goods to causes you care about
26. Offering to do errands/chores if someone does not feel safe doing so
27. Dreaming up what you want the future to look like
28. Find a local election you care about and volunteer to get the word out about it
29. Read the US Constitution
30. Finding community to support you so you don't feel isolated or alone in the work
31. Making "Good Trouble"
32. Taking care of yourself so that you are better able to care for your community
33. Remembering none of us is alone in having mental health struggles right now

World Mental Health Day

 

Today Is World Mental Health Day

By Dreaming Ace

Today is World Mental Health Day

A day to honor our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, and neighbors

In these challenging times

In these challenging times

Be "gentle, gentle" with yourself

While being "gentle, gentle" with others too

Breathing in, Breathing out, 

Breathing in, Breathing out

Knowing that we are not alone

We are not alone in our mental health struggles 

In this challenging time, Breathe in, Breathe out

In this challenging time, Breathe in, Breathe out

No matter if we are in crisis, struggling, surviving, thriving, or excelling 

We can find small doable ways to show ourselves self care, self love 

These are challenging times, Yet we can still breathe in, breathe out

These are challenging times, Yet we can still breathe in, breathe out

Today is World Mental Health Day

A day to honor our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, and neighbors

 

Resources via Mental Health Collation

Self Love As The Multiverse Implodes

By Dreaming Ace

The multiverse seems to be shattering

These are really challenging times for me, for you, for us all

ICE Kidnapping people right off the streets of my Chicago

Government shutdowns, health insurance increases 

So many ways the multiverse is imploding

And yet self kindness, self care, self love

Is important as the multiverse melts like one of Dali's clocks

It is not selfish to need a break

It is not selfish to feel overwhelmed

It is not selfish to care for yourself

"You can not pour from an empty cup"

Practice self care

Feel your feelings

Reach out and connect

"You can not pour from an empty cup"

Self love can be a form of justice

Self love can be a form of resistance

Self love can be a way to know that we are not alone

We are not alone is seeking justice

We are not alone

What can self love look like in these times?

Dreaming up a new and better future for us all

Creating art to help us and others process what is happening

Being thoughtful about how we are really doing

Determining what we can contribute to the stone soup of justice

  We Are Not Alone...

By Dreaming Ace

We are not alone

If we are feeling overwhelmed

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we are feeling overstimulated

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel terrified

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel frozen

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel angry

We are not alone

We are not alone

If hope seems impossible

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we have forgotten how to dream

We are not alone

We are not alone

If we feel like everything is too much

We are not alone

We are not alone

We are never alone

No matter what we are feeling

There are others who feel the same way

And there is comfort in that understanding

Magical October Plans

Fall is finally here (hopefully bringing some cooler weather), and we have reached the magical month of October. I plan to do some daily Halloween activities, have a "Buy Nothing-ish*" October, and pamper myself, all while juggling a ton of cat sitting. 

Daily Halloween Activities:

During the month of October I try to do something "Halloween" (or fall) related every day. This year that will include activities such as:

Terror Tuesday's at the Chicago Public Library which are amazing lectures around the history of horror films. Each year has a different theme and this year we are exploring global horror (horror from Italy, Canada, Spain, and Asia) as well as various other Halloween events at the Chicago Public Library.

After Dark: Myths, Misdeeds & the Paranormal a fun podcast that I enjoy

And this year I'm trying the new to me The Every Day is Halloween Podcast

"Buy Nothingish*" October

Right now I have a ton of food in my apartment, and I feel like working on eating my stores down makes sense. For example, from various sources (mainly my local Buy Nothing group), I currently have enough oatmeal packets to have overnight oats or oatmeal for breakfast for at least the rest of this year and probably a good chunk of next year too, LOL. I also have a ton of shelf-stable food and coupons for various free items that I should actually try to use. My goals are to reduce my spending, creatively use some of the various sauces/spices/flavorings I have, and make room in my cupboards, pantry, freezer, etc. This way I can enjoy fresh items for the holiday season and New Year.

*Not including bills, transit, etc., nor assorted free item coupons I have, plus if I need an item or two, that is not a big deal.

Pampering Myself:

I recognize that with all the cat sitting I will be doing this month (27+ days), I need to make sure I am pampering myself and focusing on self-love. I plan on taking some long walks and doing some online fitness and meditation, as well as using lotion and burning some candles. There is no right way to pamper yourself, but October may be a good month to do so since Nov and Dec tend to be very busy with holiday activities, and feeling rested, centered, and rooted now will help make Nov and Dec go smoother.

National Suicide Prevention Week

September is Suicide Prevention Month; in addition, National Suicide Prevention Week started yesterday and runs through September 13th. While we always need to be talking about suicide, suicidal ideation, and mental health, this year, it feels even more vital to do so.

While this year there is no one universal theme for Suicide Prevention Week, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention picked “Looking out for each other,” To Write Love On Her Arms picked "I hope you stay," and The National Alliance on Mental Illness picked "Start a Conversation. Be the Difference," as well as highlighting the importance of 988 for those in crisis.

Together these themes recognize that many of us are feeling overwhelmed right now and that the best suicide prevention includes a holistic and community-wide approach. Often the best suicide prevention is providing safe and brave spaces to talk openly about our mental health so that we can recognize we are not alone and that there are many people and groups who want to support us when we are struggling.

Below is Wentworth Miller's Active Minds speech he gave almost a decade ago that is an important example of how meaningful talking about our mental health experiences can be. Wentworth is vulnerable about his own experiences with suicidal ideation (from childhood), the trauma caused by people's response to that ideation, and how he used the power of telling his story to learn to thrive and help others. 

Mental Health in Sabrina (1954)

Today my local library branch showed the romantic comedy Sabrina (1954.)

Two clips stood out to me within the context of September being Suicide Prevention Month,

But I recognize I have no idea what the original intent was by the filmmakers.

Note:

I will be describing two clips from the film

The clips reference or show suicidal ideation, but are not graphic

In addition there are no major spoilers since neither clip is key to the film's plot.

Sabrina's Suicidal Ideation

Pretty early in the film, Sabrina's suicidal ideation is portrayed in a "Romeo and Juliet," aka young people don't know how to handle "big feelings," way. While it is not played for laughs exactly, it is portrayed in a relatively lighthearted way, gets resolved quickly, and seems to be forgotten by everyone. (And yes, I really want to know what happened to the suicide note she slid under her father's door right before the above clip, which is never referenced by anyone.)

  

Linus's Suicidal Ideation

(You can start at 1:55)

Much later in the film, Linus mentions his own previous brief suicidal ideation. Most likely in the film this conversation is intended to simply show Sabrina that Linus really has a heart and has felt "big feelings" in the past. But this brief scene added to the film and felt like the start of a slightly more meaningful conversation around suicidal ideation.

  

Suicidal Ideation in Conversation

Sabrina's and Linus's suicidal ideation put together felt like a deeper conversation around how anyone can experience intrusive thoughts/suicidal ideation. It does not matter if you are young or old, female or male (or nonbinary, but the film was made in the 50s, so it's pretty binary in its portrayal), emotional or serious, a chauffeur's daughter or an elder son running a major business conglomerate.

In addition, from what I know of the 1950s (when the film was made), male-identified individuals often did not discuss their mental health with others, let alone discuss suicidal ideation seriously in films (yes, sometimes mental health was represented, but more often as a punch line or joke at the expense of male-identified characters who did not meet the societal expectations for masculine individuals).

While I know that mental health and suicidal ideation are neither the main focus of this film nor does the film really go too in-depth around these subjects (and I know moving to France is not the universal cure for suicidal ideation), I was pleasantly surprised to have the topic shown at all, let alone relatively well, in a 1950s romantic comedy.

"What It Sounds Like ..."

 

Currently I am really into K-Pop Demon Hunters, and I would recommend it to pretty much everyone. I am likely to write more about it at some point, but for right now I decided to share a poem I wrote in response to the song "What It Sounds Like." You can also listen to this recording of me reading the poem at August's Three Avenues Open Mic.

8/22/25-8/30/25 (I worked on this poem over the course of several days) 

This poem is based on the song “What it sounds like.” from “K-Pop Demon Hunters” 

K-Pop Demon Hunters’ Song 

“What it sounds like” playing on repeat 

Calling me out, calling me in

What words have gone unspoken?

When did I forget that I’m not alone?

What patterns am I ashamed of?

Recently all too often I forget

How to struggle, How to survive, 

Let alone how to live, to thrive

Forgetting how to be “gentle, gentle” with myself

Forgetting how to be able to hold my reality together

With little more than fanfiction and daydreams

Or honestly, even remember why I should Want To “Want To” 

Hold this splintering multiverse called life, called living, together

When the shards of history, of time itself can cut me deep to my bone

Sometimes I want to return to starlight, to stardust

Longing for that which we all come from, all return to 

Seeking the sunless lands, hoping "To sleep, perchance to dream" 

Yet knowing life should not mirror a never ending time loop

Wanting a reason to seek new sunrises, new days, new tomorrows

Beyond my impossible wild hopes, impossible wild dreams

On the not good days, in the “here, here” moments 

It can feel like all I have left to cling to is imagining “What if?” 

What if I manifested a shattering of the fourth wall?

Surviving for the day The Tardis appears on my path

Surviving for the day Captain Cold is guided into my life

Surviving for the day Wentworth or Ncuti appears here at open mic

On the not good days, in the “here, here” moments 

It can feel like all I have left to cling to, is my intersections 

With my characters, with my parasocial support network 

There are worst things to keep surviving for, to use to cope 

Than clinging to wild dreams, wild imaginings, wild “What ifs”

But yet I wonder, is it always enough to survive for impossibles? 

So what words have gone unspoken?

The words that I am not always ok, that simply living life 

Adulting, being human, can feel like too much

So when did I forget that I’m not alone?

Forget that others know the color of the ink in my veins?

Forget that others know the vibrations of my atoms?

Why do I often forget that I have been claimed?

Claimed by the god and goddesses of storytelling? 

Marked as a believer in the magic of Three Avenues?

So what patterns am I ashamed of?

Patterns where I don’t give voice, don’t trust others 

With everything that is bubbling up inside myself

Inside of me are swirls, vortexes, and multiverses

Inside of me is the shadow, the night sky, the candle, the stars

Inside of me is every character, every fandom that keeps me alive

I seek to see this splintering multiverse called life

As it really is, as it might be, as it could be in daydreams

To be called out, to be called in, to sing a song of transformation

*Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone"

We listened to the demons, we let them get between us

But none of us are out here on our own*

I’m not alone

You’re not alone

We’re not alone

*So we're not heroes, we're still survivors

The dreamers, the fighters, no lying, I'm tired*

*Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like*

Here I stand before you in all my imperfections

“We broke into a million pieces, and we can't go back

But now we're seeing all the beauty in the broken glass*

We need to be honest with ourselves, with the multiverse

*Why did we cover up the colors stuck inside our head?

Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light instead*

So now we stand hand in hand, dreaming, singing

*We're shattering the silence, we're rising, defiant

Shouting in the quiet, "You're not alone"*

The power of song, the power of words

The power of sharing what is deep inside ourselves

The power of shouting our truth, the truth

I’m not alone, You’re not alone, We’re not alone

*Get up and let the jagged edges meet the light*

Remembering *none of us are out here on our own*

*Up, Up, Up It’s our moment

Gonna be, Gonna be golden

Gonna be, Gonna be golden*

Bold text is taken directly from the songs “What it sounds like” and “Golden”

 

Happy Birthday James Baldwin

In honor of James Baldwin's Birthday 

Here are some poems I wrote based on some of his more famous quotes

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, 

but nothing can be changed until it is faced.”

— James Baldwin

James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Isms and phobias

War and violence and hate and harm 

Starvation and genocide and terror

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Anything and everything that keeps others

From knowing they are loved, beloved

From knowing they are worthy of being alive

  James Baldwin on this your Birthday

Help us face all the wrongs in this world

The wrongs of today which mirror the wrongs of your time

Help us face all our global wrongs

Help us face all our national wrongs

Help us face all of our personal wrongs

So we yet have a hope of changing

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, who had ever been alive.”

— James Baldwin

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These have always been what tell me I am not alone

Even when I did not have the words 

They understood what I was experiencing

They were always there to hold space for me

They were always there to listen

They were always there to grab my hand

And say run 

Or give me a big hug 

Depending on the need

They were always there 

To help explain other people to me

To help explain me to myself

To be there to dance with queerness

To be there to dance with mental health struggles

To be there to dance with neurodivergence

Books and stories and epic tales

Characters and parasocial support networks

These will always be who tell me I am not alone

They will always be there to hold space for me

“An identity would seem to be arrived at by the way 

in which the person faces and uses his experience.”

— James Baldwin

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

I feel like I have worn enough faces/enough masks

To leave all the Doctors in the stardust? Timedust?

From stardust and starlight we come

To stardust and starlight we go

What is my identity?

Aromantic and Asexual?

Neurodivergent?

Reader?

Writer?

Poet?

Daydreamer?

Cat sitter?

Legend of Tomorrow?

Human?

What is my identity?

A complicated question?

From stardust and starlight I come

To stardust and starlight I go

Yet I do not know what the journey may look like

Yet I do not know what adventures will appear

What identity do my experience add up to?

What is my identity?

Mid-Summer Check In ...

First, happy Disability Pride Month. I know it has been a while since I last posted a blog post. This summer has been, and will remain, very busy for me. It has ended up being filled with nonstop cat sitting, trying to complete all of the Three Avenues Summer Reading Challenges, plus plenty of other summer activities. I have also had to "throw away the plan" way more than my neurodivergent brain would have liked. LOL

With so much going on, I haven't had the "spoons" to blog, and I just wanted to check in with everyone. I hope you have found your own parasocial support network to hold space for you during this busy season. I hope you are able to find some peace, joy, and laughter this summer. (If you need something to laugh out loud about, I would recommend "The Goes Wrong Show" free on Tubi.) I am not sure when I will next blog, but I hope you have a wonderful summer and are able to relax and rejuvenate yourself ahead of the upcoming fall. 

Midsummer

By Dreaming Ace

It’s the last day of July

Take a deep breath, breathe

I have so much I need to do

It will be ok, you will get through

I am feeling overwhelmed

I am feeling overstimulated

I am feeling it is all too much

“Gentle, Gentle, Slow, Slow

Thoughtful, Thoughtful, Flow, Flow”*

Hold space for me

Hold space for me

Hold space for me 

My parasocial network

We who are your parasocial network

Are always holding space for you

We will always be here for you

“Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe 

Even when I’m overwhelmed?

Even when I’m overstimulated?

Even when it’s all too much?

Yes, we will always be here for you

We are only a thought away providing

Space held with kindness and hugs

A listening ear, “Gentle, Gentle”, Breathe

“Gentle, Gentle”

My parasocial network 

Holding space for me indeed.

*A statement that Wentworth Miller (who is part of my personal parasocial support network) once posted on social media years ago which has become my own mantra.

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

(Photo By Dreaming Ace)

Goodbye Mental Health Awareness Month

 

I had great plans for this Mental Health Awareness Month, but the multiverse disagreed, and I had to do as Captain Cold says and "throw away the plan." I really came to appreciate how when I am overstimulated and overwhelmed (even if for positive reasons like lots of paid cat-sitting work that took me all over), my capacity to deal with change disappears. In some areas I did better than expected, but overall I felt kind of frantic this month and struggled to relax even when I did have some downtime between being busy.

I think it is important for us to share when we are overstimulated and overwhelmed, because we all experience such moments, but all too often we don't talk about them and therefore feel isolated and alone in those struggles. It is late, and I have lots of stuff planned for tomorrow, so I will simply leave you all with the knowledge that no matter how you feel about May, no matter whether you were able to focus on mental health or not, you are not alone, and you did a fantastic job simply surviving. Mental Health Awareness Month may be coming to a close, but working on our mental health needs to occur all year.

Summer is Here ...

 

I was going to write this post last week, but that didn't happen LOL, so I am sharing it this weekend instead. 

Each summer I create a spreadsheet where I list all the summer activities I do. This is so at the end of summer, when I feel like I failed to do as much as I could have, I can look back at my list and have data to prove myself wrong. Most summers I end up doing over 100 activities, which clearly shows I am doing something.

While I don't have many rules, I do have a few guidelines, such as the activities should occur outside my apartment and not be something I do regularly (for example, going for a walk or weekly church doesn't count, but if there is a special occasion such as tomorrow's First Sunday Pride Month Meal, it does)

But when everything is said and done, it is more about me keeping a record (you're welcome, future historians LOL) than overly worrying about how to classify my summer activities. If you are looking for a fun and easy way to encourage yourself to do more things this summer, this might be a useful idea.