Monday, May 31, 2021
Remembering Memorial Day
Friday, May 28, 2021
Mental Health Tips: Storytelling
Since this month is mental health awareness month, this is a continuation of my series on mental health. Today's focus is on various conversations that have been happening around mental health this month.
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Mental Health Tips: When Struggling
Since this month is mental health awareness month, this is a continuation of my series on mental health. Today's focus is on tips when you are struggling, with tips provided by Futurelearn. After these tips you will find some yoga and mediation practices you can try.
The first step towards taking care of your mental health is to seek out help when you’re struggling. Whether it’s talking with a loved one or seeking out a medical professional, getting help when it’s needed is an important step. If you’re in urgent need, you can contact the Samaritans in the UK or Mental Health America if you’re in the US.
2. Recognize the signs
Another important way of looking after your mental health is to recognize the signs when something is wrong. Of course, we all have bad days now and then. However, knowing the signs of poor mental health can help you take action when it’s needed.
Learning about some of the symptoms of mental health conditions can help. Similarly, noting down your own feelings and experiences can help you identify when things aren’t quite right.
3. Talk about it
Although it’s not always easy, talking about your feelings can help you maintain good mental health. Not only can it help you deal with and work through your mental burdens, but it can help you feel supported by and connect with others. Talking therapies, such as CBT, are often used to treat issues such as depression and anxiety.
4. Take care of your physical health
The ties between physical and mental health are frequently highlighted, and taking care of one often helps to maintain the other. Many studies have shown that keeping physically active can improve your mental health.
For example, regular exercise can help with sleep, improve your mood, and help you manage stress and anxiety. One study even showed a 26% decrease in odds for becoming depressed for each major increase in objectively measured physical activity.
Make sure that you have some time to get active on a regular basis. Whether it’s a regular walk, cycle, or trip to the gym (if they’re open), even a small amount of exercise can make you feel better.
5. Work on your sleep routine
Again, various studies have detailed the links between sleep and mental health. Those who suffer from mental health conditions may find it impacts their sleep pattern. Similarly, those who struggle with their sleep may be at a greater risk of developing certain mental illnesses.
In our open step on good sleeping habits, you can learn about how to get a better night’s sleep. By doing so, you can help to take care of both your physical and mental wellbeing.
6. Try meditation and mindfulness
There are various techniques that can help you to maintain positive mental health. Two that have been studied in detail (and are closely linked) are the practices of mindfulness and meditation. As well as decreasing stress, these techniques have been proven to improve mental health and wellbeing.
The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) even recommends the practice of mindfulness as a way of managing depression. Research has also indicated a positive impact of meditation in reducing stress, enhancing wellbeing, and even being helpful for treating anxiety, addiction, aggression, and depression.
7. Pay attention to your diet
We all know that our diet impacts our physical health. However, research also shows that there is a link between diet and mental health. Although the relationship is complex, what we eat can affect our brain, both positively and negatively. One study found that there was a trend between a good-quality diet and better mental health in children and adolescents.
You can learn more about nutrition and wellbeing with our free online course, which explores the fundamentals of a healthy diet, as well as how food and disease are linked.
8. Stay connected
Evidence shows that supportive relationships with friends, family and neighbors benefit the mental health of individuals and the population. What’s more, other types of social interaction, such as volunteering, are also known to boost wellbeing. As such, it’s important to stay connected with those around you.
Although it can be difficult to visit people in person at the moment, calls, video chats, and messages can still help you to feel part of a community or social group.
9. Be kind to yourself
In the hustle and bustle of modern life, it can sometimes be challenging to take time out for yourself. However, taking time for self-care can help to reduce feelings of stress and anxiety and lift your mood overall.
If your lockdown mental health hasn’t been the best, make sure that you set aside some time for relaxing activities. Treat yourself to a nice meal, enjoy a warm bath, or do something entirely for your own enjoyment.
Learning something new, whether it’s a skill or a hobby, can help to boost your self-confidence and self-esteem, build a sense of purpose, and help you connect with others. If you’re looking for some inspiration, check out our post on how to find a new hobby.
Monday, May 24, 2021
Mental Health Tips: Mental Wellness
Since this month is mental health awareness month, I am starting a series of blog posts on mental health. Today's focus is on mental wellness see if any of these tips from Poppy Jamie could be useful for you. After her tips you will find a list of songs you can dance to right now to put a smile on your face.
1. Hit Reset on Your Habits: When we consciously decide to wake up to our autopilot patterns, only then can we choose to bend and shift them. List three habits you’ve set-and-forgotten that you would like to reset into better ones. Mine are looking at Instagram first thing in the morning and when I’m bored, saying “I’m sorry” when I have nothing to apologize for, and eating when I’m stressed.
2. Start Micro-Energizing: Right now, are you slumped over, head down, staring at your phone or laptop? If so, you’re more likely to be self-critical and reactive to a threat because our thinking is influenced by our physical bodies and vice versa. Try these micro-energizers to help build healthier thought habits:
3. Tone Your Vagus Nerve: Belly breathing stimulates the vagus nerve, which controls the parasympathetic nervous system and regulates your heart rate and mood. Researchers in Switzerland have found that a well-toned vagus nerve can reduce inflammation, treat depression and PTSD, and tamp down stress and anxiety. All of these benefits can be accessed just through breathing.
4. Change Your Words, Change Your Narrative: Use language to your advantage and retell your past story in a way that empowers you. This is a very powerful exercise because your brain believes everything you tell it. Replace unhelpful words like “failure,” “screwup,” and “disaster” with the word “unexpected.”
5. Use the Friend POV: Have you noticed that we always know how a friend should handle their situation, but we’re stumped when it comes to our own? When we are talking to ourselves, our emotional brain is activated but when we’re advising a friend, our analytical brain is activated. Practice using the third-party friend voice in aspects of your life you may be struggling with.
Friday, May 21, 2021
Simply Have A Good Weekend
Today has been filled with some work projects and a friends short story challenge so today's post is going to be brief and simply a reminder to have a good weekend.
May you have a good weekend
May you rest
May you connect
May you reflect
May you laugh
May you process
May you have a good weekend
Wednesday, May 19, 2021
History, Politics, Sorrow: Sibling Drama
History is repeating itself and two siblings are fighting once again, over the home they inherited, over the wide open spaces each needs to thrive, over access to basic human rights.
The Beginnings
The family drama is not new and has been going on in various forms for thousands upon thousands of years. Depending on how you look at it the roots of the conflict could be traced all the way back to Ishmael and Isaac and step-families who never quite learned how to respect each other and co-create belonging and community. Both sides have been abused and hurt throughout time over and over and over.
And then one side experienced unspeakable loss, millions upon millions upon million killed simply because others did not approve of their faith. So in 1948 the world decided to give the side who had just lost so much the land that they claimed historically so that they could create a safe space to live their lives. Which seemed only fair after experiencing the unspeakable.
The challenge was this good faith gesture did not take into account the people who were already living on that land. (Though the mess the colonial powers created in the middle east was not that much more messy then other places they meddled, even if it seems to have longer consequences) And so as what should have been a surprise to no one, there was conflict such as with the people forced out of their home in order to give the land over.
The Messy Middle
In 1979 Egypt recognized the Jewish state and Israel left Sinai but they remained occupying the Gaza Strip, East Jerusalem and the Golan Heights.
In the early 2000's Israel ended up in a role of semi-occupying, kind of just an awkward mess. Israel has had a de facto border with Gaza since it pulled its troops and settlers out in 2005, but Gaza and the West Bank are considered a single occupied entity by the UN, and the official borders have not yet been determined. The final status and contours of the West Bank, Gaza and East Jerusalem are meant to be decided in negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians living there under Israeli occupation, but decades of on-off talks have so far proved fruitless.
Monday, May 17, 2021
A Day's Journey (A Flower Fairytale)
Friday, May 14, 2021
The CDC + Keeping Up w/ Social Joneses
The CDC says that those individuals who are fully vaccinated do not have to wear masks. It has been interesting to see the variety of responses to this news. Some are simply happy about the announcement but many others are a bit more cautious.
Here is a collection of some of responses I have seen:
"Look, I want to get back to “normal” as soon as possible but until there’s a HIPPA compliant way to verify someone is vaccinated, I just don’t trust the general public. Cuz have y’all met the general public?" A friend
"Not gonna lie. I am thrilled that we who are fully vaccinated can stop wearing masks all the time, but I love the almost total anoynmity I've enjoyed in public, for the first time in 30 years, during the last 18 months or so." Will Wheaton
"I still want to differentiate between science deniers and believers: variants are still popping up and until we have herd immunity I'm still potentially vulnerable to new variants, even after vaccination. (Maybe it's a low probability you won't be aware of a new vaccine-resistant strain in the news, but that's small consolation if you are one of the first to get it.) So identifying and staying away from anti-vaxxers is still worthwhile to me, they are the most likely vector for anything new, and not wearing masks have been their hallmark. I get the math that my personal risk is extremely low after vaccination, but I prefer to wear a mask to identify and differentiate myself as a science believer and someone safe to be around, which I get is ironic due to my technical lack of need. Besides all that, travel is opening up and there are entire countries with barely anyone vaccinated, some of which can easily travel to the States. As long as there are people like that among us, who need to evaluate their risk level because they are not vaxxed (not by choice), we need a way to signal who is safe to be around and who is not. Again, masks as a symbol, not a need. I think we should all wear masks until none of us have to." A friend of a Facebook friend.
"I agree … I am fully vaccinated, however I have actually gotten used to wearing a mask and it has almost become a safety blanket for me. I think I am not too confident to walk around in public indoors without one for fear that I would be seen as a Trump supporter or anti-masker." A friend
"I think it’s wayyyy too soon! Outside, fine. Inside all vaxxed, also fine. We’re gonna see a huge wave again and again. I also think it will be many variants that send the new waves. I understand it’s a reward for those with vaccines, and why they are doing it. I understand them wanting to send us hope. It’s just too soon." A friend of a Facebook friend.
Personally I am not thrilled because it feels like the CDC is trying to make us all be more social too quickly. I like having a mask to hide behind. I noticed some of this when I was recently part of an online zoom panel where they made us use our cameras. I have only been forced to use my camera 2 or 3 times in the past 1 1/2 years and I have become very comfortable not being seen.
There is always going to be a range of people, some who can't wait to now go to big events and be seen, and some people who once vaccinated will add 1 or 2 people to their bubble to start and build from there. I think there is going to be collective pressure that we are all supposed to want to be social now, stop working from home, etc but it is important to be able to stand up to that pressure and say NO!
No Matter What It Might Feel Like Nobody Has To Be More Social Now. Nobody!!! So give yourself a break and simply breathe in and out. "People" will exist out there in that thing called the world no matter how long your journey or if your journey leads you to want to actually be social with them.
Also for those socializing people out there here are some tips:
1. Don't be creepy!!!
2. Don't comment on anyone's weight
No one should have done so pre-Covid, but especially now Don't!!!
3. Don't ask How was your year? Everyone has had a hard year.
If you want to share some of your struggles go ahead but don't put others on the spot to do so.
4. Do ask good questions!!
How is your mental health holding up right now?
Are you excited to be socializing here or are you feeling more somehow about it?
What is one show/movie/book/song you have seen/read/heard recently?
5. Do understand many people will not want to talk, that is ok, don't push them
For some of us we are going to want to lurk in the background for a while before we are more social
6. Do understand for some of us we have not interacted with people outside of small bubbles for a year so an event with multiple new people will overwhelm us.
It is not personal. We are not being anti-social. We just need to ease our way into it.
Sometimes we want to watch a marathon before we run in a marathon, and before running in a marathon we better have started with say a 5k and worked our way up. You may not know it but this event/activity we are at/doing feels like a marathon to us and we might need to take breaks as we go.
Wednesday, May 12, 2021
Characters and Lived Experiences
I was looking through a Facebook page that has collected the various social media posts of Wentworth Miller. I am appreciative since many of Wentworth's posts have been on Instagram or otherwise are in formats that are not easily accessible.
As I was looking through old posts, a post from last November, caught my eye. It is a fascinating view from the "room where it happens" of the need to defend the experiences of characters. It is always interesting to learn what happens behind the scenes in writer rooms.
Wentworth is coming from an actor's point of view in this particular story but I think it can be expanded to be a lesson for everyone who loves characters: Actors, Writers, Fans, Fanfiction Writers, Fan Studies Professionals etc. Plus it is a story that reminds us why we need to stand up for ourselves and our own lived experiences.
There will always be rooms where there are individuals who do not know how to best represent characters from the identities or circles of community we call home. We need to be able to stand up for the characters we care about and in doing so stand up for the multitude of lived experiences that surround us.
(And when we are celebrating characters with a different lived experience we need to make sure we are willing to listen to those who have had that lived experience)
One example that stood out to me from Wentworth's post is about halfway when he holds up the fact that marriage is not something everyone is looking for. Personally I don't see the need for people to get married and have no plans to ever get married myself but I am not sure if I would have though to bring it up if I was in Wentworth's shoes.
(This was originally posted on the 22nd November 2020 by Wentworth on Instagram and later shared by the Went Archive on Facebook. Note: I added links to clips of some the examples that Wentworth gives, the links were not in the original post but I thought might be helpful)"[We] need more communication among lgbtq fans and those who create these shows [to pave] the way for more inclusion..."
Someone wrote that under my previous post. 100%. If I ran a show leading with diversity/inclusion, I'd set up a dedicated online forum where the writers and I can connect with fans, hear concerns, get feedback. (Who knows? Maybe such things exist.)
Meanwhile, it's another argument for more queer actors in queer parts. At this moment in time/the culture, for me, it's not just about playing these characters. It's about advocating on their behalf.
Small example (bec god is in the details): Leo. The powers-that-be willed him into existence and I was grateful. He didn't have to be gay but the writers wrote that shit. So we got 2 gay actors playing 2 gay superheroes kissing onscreen... Felt like a moment.
And it needed tweaking. In the sc where Leo tells Mick and Sara he's marrying Ray, his original line was like, "I just want something normal..." Gays. Just like us. Except me? I'm not getting married. I didn't want Leo framing marriage as "normal" for folks (kids) watching. It's not. It's homonormative. A ton of queer folks are living full/content lives outside the marriage construct. That line became, "I'm looking for a new kind of adventure" (or some such).
2 actors of the same gender kissing onscreen is the beginning of the conversation. Not the end.
Hollywood is never not sending messages.
Would a straight actor playing Leo push for that change? Have that conversation with the (straight) writers and (straight) director? Maybe. I did bec I had to. It reflects my lived experience. I'm having those conversations 24-7. Not just on set.
I should note I had the weight - and will - to push for rewrites. Not every actor does. #privilege
Last tweak: The sc where Leo and Ray argue while Ray changes. The first draft called for me to "blush and turn away" at the sight of a shirtless Ray. Hello. They're lovers. Pretty sure it was the person who wrote that sc who wanted to blush and turn away.
Dear Writer(s): Don't.
Stay. Look. See. Hear. - W.M.
I am glad Wentworth fought for all these rewrites because I think all too often those of us who are "marching to the beat of a different kettle of fish"* can forget we have the power to raise our voice and say wait a min this needs tweaking/this does not express all experiences/what else can we try?
For example in an later season there was a situation with different characters that I believe should have been tweaked. In the episode (no real spoilers beyond the title of the episode) a characters virginity is the key to removing the "monster of the week." When I saw the title of the episode my creative imagination jumped to the idea that the character might be Ace especially considering all the other great representation on Legends of Tomorrow.
Even though this idea came from my own brain and was not suggested by the show itself I was still disappointed when towards the end, one of the characters says "Now, about this whole virgin situation..." instead of ending the conversation at "Yeah, yeah, that's right, mate. Come on, let's grab a beer. All right?"
The "Now, about this whole virgin situation..." line bugs me because
a) It was not needed/did not add anything to the conversation
b) It did not make story telling sense (If being a virgin helped stop one "monster of the week" it seems like being a virgin could be helpful for future "monsters of the week")
c) Instead of creating space for us Aces to at least imagine our identity into the story it inadvertently implied that not having had sex is a "situation" that needs to responded to.
Like the power of Wentworth standing up against normalizing only one experience when it comes to marriage, it would have been powerful if the show chose to stand up against the normalization that everyone wants sex and that not having sex is a strange experience not just one of a multitude of experiences people have with sexual and romantic attraction.
Single lines in media matter and it is important that those who are in positions of privilege speak up because by standing up for the lived experiences of characters we are also standing up for our own lived experiences.
(* I first was introduced to this wonderful mixed metaphor on a button at a convention I went to when I was a child, so I don't know who gets credit for the idea other than some unknow convention button maker)
Monday, May 10, 2021
Welcome Languishers Welcome
We are in the middle of Mental Health Awareness Month so today I will explore the idea of Languishing a term that now is being used to describe the mental health state of many of us as we move into a post-vaccinated world.
One definition for languishing is:Not depression or sadness, but rather the absence of feeling good about your life. Languishing is also the lack of meaning, purpose or belonging in life, which leads to emptiness, lack of emotion and stagnation.This spring personally I have experienced extended periods of languishing or in the words of Buffy The Vampire Slayer:
Every single night the same arrangement
I go out and fight the fight
Still I always feel the strangest strangement
Nothing here is real, nothing here is right
I've been making shows of trading blows
Just hoping no one knows that I've been going through the motions
Walking through the part
Nothing seems to penetrate my heart
For me it is expressing itself as low energy, low focus, and low executive functioning. The support networks and self care than worked during Covid feel like they are getting stale and not working as well anymore and all to often everything just feels a little harder than normal. Personally I still can find joy in things but just find the day to day mundane stuff is more annoying than normal and it takes me more energy to get up and do.
It is helpful to acknowledge that there are many others who are feeling the same way right now. And we all have to give ourselves more space to have grace. When you find yourself in the middle of languishing make sure you celebrate the little victories, find healthy escapism, and connect. Connect to other people, Connect to other characters, Connect to anything that brings you joy and belonging. Right now may be a challenge for you, but there is another side to your story where you end up flourishing.
Friday, May 7, 2021
How Not To Get A Physical In 7 Easy Steps
As I have had to deal with Bureaucracy this week I have to go Bah Humbug. This is a quick summary of the dysfunction.
Looked at my insurance site to find a new doctor for an annual physical.
Found one who looked good and had good reviews
Signed up for any appointment, checked the I'm a new patient box
Changed my Primary Care Doctor to this new person so insurance would be all happy. (I had been assigned a randomly generated doctor when I first got the insurance and have never gone to them)
Insurance said the switch was fine, because the doctor was taking new patients and was in-network
Less than 24 hours before my appointment get an email
05/05/2021 05:04 PMThis message is regarding your appointment on 5/6/2021. It was originally scheduled with Dr. **** but as she is not taking new patient it was moved to Dr. *** schedule for 4:30 pm. Unfortunately, it looks like your current insurance is *** which we are not in network with. If you would like to keep your appointment you would need to be self pay. The down payment would be of $100 which would be due at check in. Any additional fees would be mailed out too. Please let the office know if you have any questions. Thank you.
Wednesday, May 5, 2021
The Historical Cinco de Mayo
Cinco de Mayo is not Mexican Independence Day, you might say it was like a Saint Crispin's Day in that it was a battle won against a greater army which in both cases happened to be French. Cinco de Mayo is about debts and restructuring debts and is much bigger in the United States than in Mexico because in the United States it has taken on additional meaning for the Mexican American Community. In many ways the best way to celebrate would be to help someone pay their debts or cancel their debts but I doubt that will ever be as popular as people drinking and acting out often in cultural insenstive manners.
- In 1861, Benito Juárez—a lawyer and member of the Indigenous Zapotec tribe—was elected president of Mexico. At the time, the country was in financial ruin after years of internal strife, and the new president was forced to default on debt payments to European governments.
- In response, France, Britain and Spain sent naval forces to Veracruz, Mexico, demanding repayment. Britain and Spain negotiated with Mexico and withdrew their forces.
- France, however, ruled by Napoleon III, decided to use the opportunity to carve an empire out of Mexican territory. Late in 1861, a well-armed French fleet stormed Veracruz, landing a large force of troops and driving President Juárez and his government into retreat.
- Certain that success would come swiftly, 6,000 French troops under General Charles Latrille de Lorencez set out to attack Puebla de Los Angeles, a small town in east-central Mexico. From his new headquarters in the north, Juárez rounded up a ragtag force of 2,000 loyal men—many of them either Indigenous Mexicans or of mixed ancestry—and sent them to Puebla.
- The vastly outnumbered and poorly supplied Mexicans, led by Texas-born General Ignacio Zaragoza, fortified the town and prepared for the French assault. On May 5, 1862, Lorencez gathered his army—supported by heavy artillery—before the city of Puebla and led an assault.
- Although not a major strategic win in the overall war against the French, Zaragoza’s success at the Battle of Puebla on May 5 represented a great symbolic victory for the Mexican government and bolstered the resistance movement. In 1867—thanks in part to military support and political pressure from the United States, which was finally in a position to aid its besieged neighbor after the end of the Civil War—France finally withdrew.
- Traditions include military parades, recreations of the Battle of Puebla and other festive events. For many Mexicans, however, May 5 is a day like any other: It is not a federal holiday, so offices, banks and stores remain open.
- In the United States, Cinco de Mayo is widely interpreted as a celebration of Mexican culture and heritage, particularly in areas with substantial Mexican-American populations.
- Chicano activists raised awareness of the holiday in the 1960s, in part because they identified with the victory of Indigenous Mexicans (such as Juárez) over European invaders during the Battle of Puebla.
- Today, revelers mark the occasion with parades, parties, mariachi music, Mexican folk dancing and traditional foods such as tacos and mole poblano.
Monday, May 3, 2021
It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's DePaul's Celebration of Superheroes
This week the DePaul Pop Culture Conference is back (after taking 2020 off for pretty obvious reasons) with a Celebration of Superheroes. This year the conference is virtual which means while it started on Saturday it is running through the end of the week so it is not too late to join in and have an amazing time.
Check out the website to listen to recordings of the key note speakers from Saturday which covered everything from the importance of diversity in superhero stories, to the stages of being a minority creator, from the structure of writing comics for DC and Marvel, to how to make fan vids.
In addition check out the pre-recorded "panels" which cover a wide range of topics including
- Defining the Superhero
- Ethics and the Superhero
- ***Mental Health and Superhero Media***
- Politics and the Superhero
- Pulp, Noir, and the Gothic in Superhero Media
- Readership and Reception
- Representation I: Blackness and Superheroes
- Representation II: New (and Old Roles),Superheroes?
- Superheroes as Feminist Icons
- Superhero Games and Other Adaptations
- Superheroes on Television
- The Superhero Narrative
By choosing to show up and tell my story, by choosing to be here - like, here here - I trust I'm making it easier for someone, somewhere to tell their story. And maybe add a few more chapters.
Mental Health is a subject that we all need to get better at talking about and I feel like looking to Superheroes (and real life Superhero actors, writers, and creators) who talk about their own mental health and mental health support systems, is one way to ease into these conversations.