Honoring All Big Holiday Season Feelings

 

This image crossed my Instagram feed filled with wisdom from Wentworth Miller, and it reminded me of the complexity of feelings that we might have during the holiday season. 

I personally love Advent and the Winter Solstice; I love the ritual of it, and I love wishing everyone hope, peace, love, and joy. I love the calmness that it highlights—the calmness of curling up with a good book, a warm beverage, candles, and a fire playing on the TV.

I also love parts of Christmas—all the lights, all the treats, all the concerts—but often find it to be a bit too much, a bit too busy, a bit too overstimulating. As a kid, I always wanted to sleep in on Christmas, much to my parents chagrin.

Now I understand that personally, for my neurodivergent brain, the holidays can be challenging for a number of reasons, such as having my routines and patterns changed and having less time to regroup because of all the activities that are occurring. 

You do not have to love the holidays. No matter what you are feeling —joy or sorrow, excitement or stress, energized or exhausted—it is important to honor those feelings. There are no right or wrong ways to celebrate this time of year.

Nourishing November

 

Nourishing November

By Dreaming Ace

By the power invested in me, myself, and I

I am declaring it is officially Nourishing November

A time to nourish ourselves physically and mentally

Before we hit the busy holiday season and end of year

I am using this as a time to pamper myself inside and out

Pamper by using up what I already have in my apartment 

Using up lotions and candles and incenses and teas 

Using up pantry goods, craft supplies and sharing items

That no longer are serving me with others so they can enjoy

Plus taking the time to rest and recharge, sleeping in etc

So by the power invested in me, myself, and I

I am declaring it Nourishing November

🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁

5 Benefits of Nourishing November

• Nourishing November helps refill our energy stores before the busy holiday season.
• I find that the holidays are often so busy it is challenging to truly enjoy them. Resting during November should help.
• Nourishing November helps our physical and mental health.
• Nourishing November helps us get more organized for the new year.
• The fewer items that are in a category, the easier it is to organize.
• Nourishing November helps us find holiday gifts.
• I am expecting to find gifts for others as I use up other items.
• Nourishing November can help other people's holidays.
• As was shared online, parents look in resale shops for toys for their kids, but typically resale shops don't have any until after the holidays.
• While the original post was about kids toys, it is true for most holiday items. For example, donating your extra clothing now means that someone can get themselves a gift warm clothing.

🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂🍁

15 Nourishing November Activities

To Help You Think Creatively About Nourishment

(In no particular order)

• Make a meal with ingredients you have in your pantry already. 
• Doing a creative project with craft supplies you already have
• Using up a sample of lotion or other beauty product
• Having a cup of tea or hot cocoa using up what you have
• Spending an afternoon reading a book on your bookshelves (or from the library)
• Burning a nice smelling candle or incense you have
• Doing self massage or mediation or yoga
• Writing in a journal. or writing poetry, or writing a short story.
• Taking a warm shower or bath (use a nice body wash if you have it)
• Having a dance party for one in your home
• Spending time with people you care about
• Sleeping in or taking a nap
• Add some hygge into your day
• Incorporate a pop of color into your space (place a colorful bowl on the counter, drape a colorful scarf on your chair or sofa etc.)
• Listening to a podcast on a topic you love

National Coming Out Day

 

Today is National Coming Out Day

By Dreaming Ace

Today is National Coming Out Day

A day to check our spaces/communities

Making sure they are warm and welcoming

For all our LGBTQA+ siblings and friends

Some of us have been out for decades

Some of us have been out for moments

Some of us are still exploring the multiverses

The multiverse of gender, of sexuality, of identity

Our spaces and communities should be safe

Should be warm and welcoming no matter

Where on the journey, where on the path

Any person falls on their LGBTQA+ adventure

Today is National Coming Out Day

A day to check our spaces/communities

Making sure they are warm and welcoming

For all our LGBTQA+ siblings and friends

World Mental Health Day

 

World Mental Health Day is an international day for global mental health 

Education, awareness, and advocacy against social stigma. 

I have written blog posts filled with facts and figures, 

Filled with YouTube videos of celebrities talking about mental health, 

Ones exploring mental health and its intersections with characters and fandoms. 

This time I have ended up simply writing a poem to mark the day 

because that is all the "spoons" I have today.

May we all have a meaningful World Mental Health Day

World Mental Health Day

By Dreaming Ace

Today is World Mental Health Day

A Day to examine our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, communities

Some of us can say we are thriving today

Many more of us would say we are struggling,

We have been struggling, we will continue to struggle

Mental health is not simple, nor easy, nor always clear

What tricks work one day might do harm the next

Sometimes fresh air and rest and nutritious food

Are all that is needed, other times those are impossible

Impossible tasks that only bring more grief and pain

Some of us can mediate or journal or talk to a therapist

Others need to dance or run or create their feelings out

Some need to process and understand their Trauma

Others need to find safety and security and belonging first

Some have the supports and resources to heal

Others have to heal on their own since systems are broken

Personally I often daydream

Personally I often lean on fandoms

Personally I often borrow wisdom / mantra of others

“Gentle, gentle, slow, slow, thoughtful, thoughtful, flow, flow”*

As my north star when the path is covered in shadows

“Gentle, gentle, slow, slow, thoughtful, thoughtful, flow, flow”*

But that does not mean I never feel stuck

But that does not mean I never feel lost

But that does not mean I never feel alone

So if you feel stuck you are not alone in feeling stuck

So if you feel lost you are not alone in feeling lost

So if you feel alone, you are not alone in feeling alone

If you are feeling tired That Is OK

If you are feeling energized That Is OK

If you are feeling somehow That Is OK

Today is World Mental Health Day

A Day to examine our own mental health

And that of our friends, family, communities

A day to honor however we are really doing

A day to honor however we are really feeling

A day to honor our and our communities mental health

Today is World Mental Health Day

*From old Instagram posts by Wentworth Miller

Happy October

October Has Arrived

By Dreaming Ace

October has arrived

Bringing a month of magic

Natural magic: Changing Leaves

Wellness magic: Teas and Soups

Joyous magic: Stories and Tales

A time when the line between

Past and Present and Future

Natural and Supernatural

What is, What could be

Is Thinner, Is Liminal

October has arrived

Bringing a month of magic

I love celebrating the magic month of October.

For me, it doesn't matter if it is the magic of watching and feeling the weather change, the magic of a nice warm cup of tea or hot cocoa, the magic of a yummy cooking project using up what I have, or the magic that only good stories in all their forms can bring. I enjoy celebrating magic in all its forms, shapes, and squiggles. 

I am planning on doing one magic/supernatural/Halloween activity all 31 days of October. I read supernatural stories; I go to apple festivals, fall festivals, and Halloween festivals; I go to a wonderful series of Terror Tuesday Talks at the library on the history of horror films. 

For example yesterday I read a few stories from We Mostly Come Out at Night: 15 Queer Tales of Monsters, Angels & Other Creatures which seems a fitting choice to start with as a magic / supernatural / Halloween activity and a LGBTQ History Month activity. I am looking forward to all the ways I can incorporate magic into my October.

(Photo by Dreaming Ace)

Speaking Up About Supports Is Important

(Photo by Dreaming Ace)

I am neurodivergent, and personally, I know that I can struggle to recognize and name what supports would be useful for me in different situations. I think this comes from the fact that I masked so long before knowing I was neurodivergent, so I am used to simply figuring out how to manage instead of trying to figure out how I can thrive in such situations. Yesterday I was able to recognize the usefulness of certain supports (in this case using a walking/hiking stick when I was dealing with a cold). I then decided to share what supports I used with a wider audience as part of my daily #selfcarechronicle on Instagram. 

As I wrote yesterday:

Today #selfcarechronicle was both

Another wonderful @threeavenuesbookshop summer reading challenge park meetup (and let's say there were some very active, inquisitive and entertaining kids and young adults running around the park tonight 😂😆😂)

AND

Celebrating personal supports. I have been fighting a cold or something so not feeling 💯 and since today was at the farthest park in the park meetup loop I both took the brown line and brought a walking stick I had.

Felt a little silly using a walking stick but it made walking easier which is the point of all supports making life easier. And I think we need to more often share what supports we use with others. Celebrating 🎉 supports helps us all.

What did you do for #selflove today?

What did you do for #joy today?

My #carechronicle is based on ones #wentworthmiller used to do on social media

I got enough positive feedback about my Instagram post that I decided to expand it into this blog post. As I wrote, I will say at first I felt a bit silly using a walking stick (which I found for free in my ally years ago) because I didn't feel that horrible, just a little off balance. The fact that I felt this doubt about using a support that I already had (I didn't have to ask anyone for it) and which no one in Chicago was going to care I was using made me realize that we collectively need to start to speak out more about the supports we use, especially those we only use some of the time. 

For me, speaking out meant including my walking stick in my Instagram photo and pointing out the reason it was there. In other cases, it might be explaining that I am going to be stimming by swaying side to side and making sure I am not blocking someone else. For someone else, it might be explaining why they have coloring/writing materials at an event because it helps them focus. The more everyone is open about the supports they are using, the more we all can be supported. 

Figuring out what supports are useful, finding those supports, and then being encouraged to use those supports freely is really hard to do as an individual, but collectively we have a better chance of crowdsourcing our way into thriving. It does not matter if we need such supports only today or if we need them every day; we should strive to create a world where using the supports we need to thrive becomes the norm for everyone.

How Do We Define Idolizing?

A friend on Facebook shared the blog post Please Don’t Idolize Me (or Anyone, Really) by John Scalzi which is an interesting read but led me to the question how do we define idolizing?

For example:

There are a number of characters (or non-fictional people I have created fictionalized personas of inside my head) who have become deeply embedded into how I navigate the world. I often talk about how they are my parasocial support network. No matter what I am experiencing or how I need to get that experience out of myself, they are there for me inside my imagination (or inside the fanfiction I read).

They are malleable enough to always be what I need, whether that is someone who has had a similar experience, someone to give me a hug, someone who will patiently help me brainstorm how to improve my executive functioning, or simply someone to help me name my own experience, etc.

I do not see these people as perfect as in without flaws, but sometimes I do see them as "situationally perfect," as in this person has talked about having similar experiences to me, and therefore I feel like they are "perfectish" for understanding what I need in this situation.

I feel like I get a similar level of comfort from these people as those who are said to "idolize" others. Which goes back to my original question: How do we define idolizing?

• Is going back to a particular quote or speech whenever I have forgotten how to be human or how to exist considered idolizing?
• Is using characters/fictional personas to center myself when I need a safe space to express what I am feeling considered idolizing?
• Is knowing that the versions of people inside my head are always available for a deep-pressure hug or simply to hold me as we sit in silence considered idolizing?

I agree that we should not "idolize" others, as in think they are perfect, never make poor choices, never do anything wrong, but I also know that as someone who can struggle to connect with other people, I tend to deeply embed people (characters and non-fictional people I have created fictionalized personas of in my imagination) into my reality, and honestly, I am not sure how I would navigate a world where that was not true.